What a Good Man is Like: Beyond the Looks

December 3rd, 2010 - By Anthony Jerrod

1. Dedicated. It is absolutely essential to discern whether a prospective spouse is a dedicated and a committed man.    Does he continually exhibit the willingness and dedication to continually improve your relationship?  Oftentimes, marriages and relationships fall by the way side because of a lack of or lukewarm commitment by one or both partners.

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  • Nay

    I'm dating a guy with all of these qualities and at first I pushed him away ..now I see how much I could miss out on and I'm playing my cards right! LOL He's a little on the geeky side for me but he's a good Man and I thank GOD!!! lol I can't believe he blessed me with someone so nice I just hope I can live up to his expectations for a good woman as well..

  • Ronnie Hughes

    You left out one quality that is absolutely essentil for Black men: standing up to white supremacy. Are there any Black women out there willing to suffer with their Black men when they stands up for the race? Anything else is totally irrelevant unless one, as Dr. King, Malcolm X, Marcus Garvey, Jesus, Gandhi all said, "One cannot be free if he is afraid to die, suffer and sometimes kill for truth."

  • JAMES

    As human being some times we pick folks from the ouside and never look into the person's soul. Never's no such as a good man 'but there is such a man who has a consciense who knows what is it to have a companion that's knows what honesty is not thug non controling .No man on this earth is perfect until woman realize we all fall short in the eyes of the lord .He and she will always pick the wrong man.

  • Mrs alston

    Its funny how my first husband had some of those quailites, and my husband now has none of those quailites…ATSS

  • Lyndon

    You get two…Amen & (preacher's pause) Amen.

  • Sallie Hayes-William

    I agree that all the qualities listed for men, women should also possess. And finding someone or being someone with those qualities is truly a blessing. I'm still working on improving Me so I can attract a Good Man!

    Can I get an AMEN!?!

  • Beautiful Mic

    A woman needs to have these same characteristics. As I read this, I look in the mirror (so to speak) and I lack in these area 'as a woman'… I think I lack them more now as an older adult than I did when/right before I reached adulthood.

    The thing is, 'CHARACTER' was never something that was of focus in the house I was raised in. We talked 'MANNERS', but that's only part of character.

    And as a parent, if you're trying to teach 'good character', please, lead by example.

  • Happy&Hopeful

    Hey hey now! I found my man! He has all of these traits! Good luck to the rest of you all.

  • justamin

    I can't say there was anything I disagreed with infact I believe are basic qualifications of being considered a mature individual and I would apply these characteristics to both male and female in order for an adult relationship to stand the tests of time.

  • marcus

    when any of you ladies find that particular man, he'll most certainly be with a woman of another race. if only because they appreciated those traits when he was younger, and not until she was 35+ with kids

  • Mustardseeds

    While none of us are perfect, this list should serve as a guide for men to become the best they can be.

  • Boogie Down All Day

    It's good to see an article of real substance. I am hoping that I can find a man that will meet these qualities. Thanks for this wonderful list of qualities!

  • Philly Phil

    Excellent piece. 1 of the best articles that I have read on relationships. @Destined4Success – totally agree with you.

  • Summerly

    yes. This list is so true. I know these men exist. I've mt them. Mine will come along. I'm so thankful for this list i was able to see the 9/10 reasons i was right to dump my ex. THANK YOU!

  • Taline K

    agree with 1st post, a good woman attractsa good man, and there are some amazing brothers out there. The " A good man is hard to find" lline is a myth that has led many of us to compromise and just make do. maybe it should a more reflective "Is it hard for a good man to find you?" something to think about!

  • blah

    I'm sorry, but "…relationships fall by the waist side…" What is a waist side?! I do believe it's "way side." Editing, no doubt, does wonders for an article.

  • Destined4Success

    A good man is NOT hard to find. I have been in a wonderful relationship with a truly amazing man for the last 4 years. He possesses ALL of the qualities listed above and more. He reminds a lot of my father. He is kind but strong, loving but still manly. He is spiritual, dedicated, compassionate, and puts his all into everything he does. He has inspired me to be a better person. I've heard too many times that there aren't any good Black men out there. My question is: Are you a good Black woman? You must possess the same qualities within yourself that you expect of him. If not, then you're not ready for a wonderful Black man. And last, but most importantly, ladies, please take your time to get to know a man to ensure that he has those qualities before giving your soul(body) away. Trust me, this is the only real way to win his heart!

  • NEGROID

    The only man that EVER LIVED that had all these traits was JESUS CHRIST.

    Every other man on earth is gonna fall short.

    nice list, though.

  • Ebonie

    Im so glad I didn't marry my ex. He only had 2 of the qualities listed. That is why he is an ex!

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