She’s Not Dating My Baby! What To Do If Your Guy’s Family Doesn’t Like You

18 Comments
July 8, 2013 ‐ By Julia Austin

You tell yourself you can ignore it—that you can bite your tongue through their monthly visits, or maybe weekly dinners—but it always affects your relationship if your boyfriend’s family doesn’t like you. Most relationships can’t survive that dynamic, so how do you overcome it?

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  • Mallorie Estenson

    Helpful read for someone who’s distraught by a dysfunctional dynamic. Thanks!

  • Bob

    For a Black site they sure loved posting pictures of white or mixed people the majority of the time.

  • Danielle

    I have tried just about everything on this list before I knew about this list and just because I was raised to be polite and respectful. His family still acted like assholes to me for no apparent reason. His sister finally admitted to me via facebook that she never liked me after she had just seen me the day before and her brother and I got into an argument and broke up. She had nothing to say until I was two hours away… Since then he and I have been talking and trying to patch things up. He has some issues that he is seeking help for and I am standing by him. We still have a lot of love for each other that just will not die. He always told me that he did not care what his family thought about us and has vowed that he is willing to put me first and put his family behind. I would never ask someone to do that but he said he would. I wish I could see the look on his mom and sister face when he tells them we are back together :). We know we will probably not have support from either side but we are ok with that.

  • Sin-derella

    They’re both fat and ugly, they deserve each other. I wouldn’t want him anyway!

  • Gotta Be #1

    I dated a “baby-man”. He was 30 and his mom still did his laundry, she even had his name written in the back of the drawers. He was scared to wear colored ones or mommy would notice. She did everything for him, cutting food, making a whole new meal if he changed his mind, waking him up. It was plain to see she did not want him to be grown and move on. I got rid of him because of his mommy attachment. His mom had a husband and 3 grown sons at home. The funny thing is I have not seen this fool in over 15 years and when I check my AOL email he is trying to find me through a people finder site. It actually mentioned him by name and he has been at this for a couple of years. I guess his mom must have passed and he wants to be grown. I would not contact this guy for all the money in the world.

  • Love_Bug

    This is one of the most difficulty topics for me. I pretty much gave up on the idea of marriage and that family bond I that i’ve we always wanted because of this family issue. I’ve put up with the cattiness and held my tongue for the longest time because I loved him but couldn’t allow myself to be mistreated and judged after I had my first baby. I’m a grown woman and admit to my mistakes and flaws but I refuse to encourage the bullying from his side if the family when my own family do not even treat me this way. Yes I was raised in a big family that had very little of anything but I was taught to treat people with respect and to not judge people by what they have/or don’t have or how they look. Hurts to know things will never work out between us. It affects more and more every day.

  • Theresa

    My husband’s aunt can’t stand me. As long as she doesn’t say anything to me, we’re good. If she ever approached me to start some ish, it would be all bad for her because I would go glazed ham with pinapples and 4 toothpicks on that beyotch.

  • gwen

    ask info from melaniefiona that,s why adam rodriquez wouldn,t claim her,his parnets didn,t approve.

  • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

    Be yourself. If they don’t like you as you truly are its either because you are stank or they are. In any case its better to know what’s up out the gate than a marriage and a couple of kids later.

  • Tiffany Shaw

    Been there done that.. And it was some mess. Let’s be clear you are dating one person not an entire family. Don’t do people unhealthy attachments to their family. Cut the strings already. Clearly you should never disrespect anyone’s family but you don’t have to kiss butt either just to be accepted. If you are good with the person you’re dating that’s all that matters. You don’t need anyone else’s approval in a relationship

    • Child_Puhleez

      YASSSS. Been there, done that, too.

      First time your hubby gets mad @ you & says things like, “See, my mom SAID….,” cut him off & tell dude his momma’s is EXACTLY where he needs to be. smh

      So glad you addressed standing up for yourself if your spouse won’t do it for you.

  • kierah

    Stay in your lane. Don’t try too hard! If your good intentions, get rebuffed you’ll only get your feelings hurt. If you’re being fake, you’ll get called out on that too. Let your man take the lead in establishing your relationship with his family.
    Don’t just throw away a relationship because of family issues. My friend met her DH in college and his parents couldn’t stand her. During sr year, he broke it down to his parents. He said thay he loved this woman and where she wasn’t welcomed, he wasn’t welcomed either. So the love fest didn’t start right away, but at least his parents became friendlier toward her. My friend married her DH right after graduation and have been married for the past 13 years. She gets along with her in-laws very well now.

  • Alexis Morris

    I dont get along with my bf mom and brother and it’s not a deal breaker for us. His mom tried to make an ultimatum and he chose me. They talk sometimes but my bf was never close to his family anyway so I’m not worried he’ll resent me

    • dddooonnnttt

      Exactly, some men know well enough that their mom isn’t their wife/girlfriend.

  • Miss D

    I’d be outta there quick! Not going to deal with constant tension and conflict for the rest of my life.

  • NSimonefan

    Tell the boyfriend and his family to kick rocks. Life is too short for that. It’s not fair that his family treats you like crap while your family treats him with respect. Things are only going to get worse, not better, if you get married to this person. Have faith that you will meet a good man who has a family that will like you.

    • olivia

      That sums it all up. If your b’f’s fam can’t show respect move on cause its never gonna work anyway.

    • WHOISBSQUARED?

      YOU AINT NEVA LIED……