I Told My Fiancé I Cheated On My Ex-Husband, Now He’s Doubting My Ability To Be Faithful

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June 14, 2013 ‐ By
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Source: Shutterstock

 

From Essence

Ask Dr. Sherry

Q: I am engaged to a wonderful man, but he has some issues that are starting to get the best of me. He constantly brings up my past. I feel that I am a wonderful, beautiful, educated 48-year-old woman, but he constantly brings up something in my past that I am not very proud of and do not want to talk about anymore. I cheated on my ex-husband but made the mistake of telling him about it. It had nothing to do with him. The affair was over before him, and I have never cheated on him. There were things going on with me at the time, and I have figured out what those things were that caused me to do that, and I know I will never do those things again. I didn’t feel good about it, and to this day, I still carry some guilt. While my ex had his suspicions later, he never found out. I divorced him because I was not happy at all in the marriage. I have tried doing everything to prove to my fiancé that I would never cheat on him, but every now and then, the subject pops up out of nowhere. It makes me feel vulnerable, insecure and just downright tired. I get angry, I get sad and I’m tired of feeling this way. Why would he ask me to marry him if he can’t get over my past? I’m getting tired and feeling worn out over this situation. I want to make it work, but I can’t live the rest of my life like this. Please advise.

See what Dr. Sherry has to say about this on Essence.com 

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    She should tell him what she told this expert. She’s tired of paying for a indiscretion she made years ago and to someone else. Now her fiancee is wise to have cause for pause after learning of her history. He is however dead wrong to constantly throw it in her face.

    If he is truly bothered by this then he needs to reflect and workout what her confession raises in him. Was he cheated on? Is he naturally insecure and this has increased his uneasiness? Has she given him other reasons to doubt her integrity other than this admission?

    If I were her and him and I would think long and think hard if this is the way I want to kick off a marriage.