True Life: Could You Date A Man With Multiple Children?

June 13, 2013  |  

Shawty Lo and family

The dating game is hard. And there are certain things many of us shouldn’t stand for. But when it comes to children things can get a little tricky. We asked our Facebook and Twitter followers whether or not they would date a man with multiple children, why or why not and how many is too many. See what they had to say.

Steffon: I could date a man with multiple children but it depends on how many multiples and more importantly how many mommas!

Elizabeth: If you’re single one should have no more than one child – if you.have been married before two to three is acceptable.

Amber: Probably not, I don’t want someone with previous baby mama drama. Especially when he has six kids all by different females, it could be a red flag and indication that you’ll bare child never seven and he is gonna walk out the door.

LaydiBoss: The one guy that I dated had 7…but he took care of them all.

Taylor: Nope, not 1. It’s not the kids…it’s their mothers.

Tiffany: Nope. I don’t have any and I don’t want to deal with anybody else’s.

Darling: Hell no! I’m not dating a man with any children unless they are grown or very soon to be.

Faren: No,that’s the reason I broke up with my ex. He had a two year old when we met and a few months into our relationship he told me a girl he was casually sleeping with was pregnant. He wasn’t sure of the paternity but he assumes responsibility. That was too much for me since I don’t have any kids of my own.

Monise: The question was could you “date” not marry and become step-mom. LOL Maybe that’s why so many women are single. You are turning a date or two into a marriage.

Lindie: I dated a guy with 4. He was great dad and his kids adored me and I felt the same way about them. The kids came first and I was ok with that.

I’Am Royalty: I’d prefer none because I don’t have any. But Any more than 1 is too many for me. If there are more than one than I’d assume there would be more than one baby’s momma. And if he only has one baby momma with multiple kids I would wonder why he wasn’t willing to fight to keep his family together.

Rissalovingmygirls: I have. And I married him(my husband). I cant help he has a past and I had one. He made it very clear how he feels about me. He was younger then and now he is older and mature and LEARNED his mistakes. He tells his eldest son every chance he gets about the importance of safe sex and not to chase the CAT!

Stephanie: The number of women he has gotten pregnant is much more important (to me) than the number of kids he has…

Latasha: 1 is too many, I require a lot of attention and it’s just not a good look to be “jealous” of “daddy time,” which is on weekends.

Sasha: As long as he can financially take care of them & there’s no drama with the mom(s), I don’t see why not

Erica: No. 1 is is too many. I don’t want kids. I’m not willing to finance or raise someone else’s. No d!ck is worth the grief that his kids may bring. No thank you. I’m about reducing and eliminating chaos from my life, not add to it. The only exception to this is if the kids are adults, living on their own, and not financially dependent on their father to make ends meet.

Corinthia: I could, but it depends on the number of mothers. I can be with someone with 10 kids as long as all of them have the same mother, at the most 2 moms lol.
Deanne: Wouldn’t it depend more on how he treated his children and their mother/s? Does he support his children, is he involved in their lives? Does he put shoes on their feet, food on their table, coach their sports teams and teach them to brush their teeth? Does he speak well about the mother/s of his children? If not … Run.

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  • Chelsea J.

    I was talking to a guy who seemed to be very nice and sweet. Then he revealed he had 3 six year olds, no twins -_-. I exited all communication with him stage left! He was slinging the d apparently. Had 3 women pregnant at the same time. Smh

  • Isis

    Now that I am a little older and wiser I would never date a man who has multiple children. It shows lack of discipline and self control. Dealing with all of those women and children would be too much for me. He can’t even help you pay the bills because he’s probably broke from child support or refusing to work because he doesn’t want to pay it.

  • Dee

    Multiple children with multiple baby mama’s? No thanks!!! That ding a ling been all over the place!

  • Dee

    It all depends. If he has children by the same woman, I may give it shot and see where is goes. If has 4 children by 4 different women, I’m like Flo Jo and running far away!

  • Step Mom

    My husband has five kids. I love him and his kids…no big issues with the mothers–save for one who is younger than me (I know how I was at her age so: I get it, I get it. She still wants him or something 🙂 ). I married him not his exes. It happens.

    • Masterpieced

      I am so glad it worked out for you. You seem to be a really together woman. I like that you love his kids.

  • I just have a lot of questions for him. How many babies do you have? How many baby mamas? What’s the problem? Why can’t he stay with these women? Why do you have all these children? He sounds irresponsible.
    In all honestly, my baby max is two and my baby mama max is one.

  • VampyRed

    I am not interested in men with kids period. No matter the amount. Just ewwww….

  • ZLoves

    So many factors
    1. How many children?
    2. How many baby mommmas?
    3. How is your relationship with your children?
    4. How is your relationship with their mom?
    5. Are the children going to be respectful towards me?
    6. Are the mothers going to be respectful of our relationship?
    7. How old are these children?

  • me

    Nope. Too many women around, too many external forces coming into the relationship out of the gate. Plus, as many have said already, it points to a lack of responsibility and judgment. And, if he’s like the guys I know with multiple kids, he’ll work so damn much to pay the child support that you won’t ever see him. So I’ll pass …

  • Tammi

    After a recent experience, probably not. The guy had major baby mama drama, and I realized that he himself was all about drama and probably even still had feelings for the mother. People in those baby mama/daddy situations can be very selfish, not thinking or caring about who they hurt, and if you notice their drama is usually all they talk about. If you let them, they will drag you right into their silliness. I used to be open to it because I love kids (none of my own) but now I’m starting to see that it might not be a wise choice.

    • Tammi

      not thinking or caring about who they hurt INCLUDING THE KIDS

  • Tehani

    Hell f*cking no!

  • Candacey Doris

    Not at this point in my life. I’m not being down on men with kids but i’m not ready to deal with it.

  • Machone

    Men with kids today are the norm. You could be letting a good man past you by just because he has a kid.

    • VampyRed

      Not really, but you men with children keep thinking that LOL. These types of statements don’t really make sense because if a woman is not interested in the dynamics and challenges that accompany these situations, then it’s no loss to her (us).

  • KamJos

    Only if mom was out of the picture, like dead.

    • Masterpieced

      YES! lol

      • KamJos

        Funny, since this comment 2 years ago I relaxed my standards and dated two men with kids. The first was divorced, 3 kids mom had custody. It was awful. She would use the kids as a bargaining chip. One time the cops were called. So much of his money was gone due to child support. He was a very sweet guy but his ex-wife was a terrible woman (outside friends that knew of her confirmed she was pretty well known for being an awful human being.)

        Second man was divorced with 2 kids, he had custody. This situation was much better. Kids were sweet as pie and I genuinely loved them. But having a custody agreement meant that we could never move far from the mother. She was also not that great of a mother but she tried the best she could. She started to get a bit jealous because the kids really loved me. In both cases the moms were the ones that made the whole situation awful. I should have stuck to my standards, although it was a great learning experience. Let this be a lesson ladies. Keep your standards high and trust your intuition.

  • Paris

    Prior to my last 2 relationships I would’ve been fine dating a man with children, however it was because of the children & lack of time management that it didn’t work out so why should I continue to waste my time? I understand and respect a man who takes care of their children & spends time with them & I make that clear in the beginning, but if you’re not willing to work with me to make the relationship work like I’m willing to then Bon Voyage!

  • Kenedy

    NEVER!! The fact that you have time to create all of them, but don’t have time to stay with their mothers and make it work? nuh uh, You are damaged goods!

  • am

    I am dating a man with 6 children I have not ran into any problems with moms or anything and most of the kids are older. But I also have 3 kids that he is very supportive of and they like him so that is important. But since he was young when he had these kids and not as mature as he is now this is the right situation for me.

  • Alexis Morris

    Depends. Nothing like ten or twelve. One is too many if he has a difficult relationship with the mom

  • Destiny S.

    No because they aren’t mine (and never will be) & I don’t want other people involved in my relationship. Plus, I want all of my children to have the same parents.

  • Ajavee

    If the relationship would lead to marriage I would say my preference would be 2 children max.
    To be honest I do not think I could date a man with more than 2 children especially if they are
    under the age of 10.

  • Guest

    NO!!

  • Haa Haa

    I did not have kids single and I did not date men with kids. A man with multiple kids by a woman or women he did not marry makes him sound allergic to commitment and condoms. If I were single now, I would not date a man with small kids by someone he never married. I would rather stay single than deal with the drama that often comes with dating a parent, and no, I don’t have kids.

  • Faith

    Maybe 1 child, if he has two, I have to ask if they are by the same woman. I don’t want to date a guy with multiple children by multiple women, he may not be able to do a lot with you financially, like go out on dates sometimes, his money is going toward paying for children with child support. I am afraid that he may ask me to pay everything because his money is going toward paying for children. I don’t mind paying sometimes, not all the time. I don’t know how some of these guys deal with the personality of mulitple baby mamas by deciding to have children by some of these women. In some cases, the man don’t want to deal with the mothers being disrespectful and allow the foolishness to go on.

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  • Bianca

    One is too many! LOL

  • No thanks

    I can’t date a man with 1. I start to have a panic attack when I begin to THINK about looking at a man with multiple kids. Smh

  • Child_Puhleez

    My child will be off to college as soon as I blink, so I don’t want a man with any kids.

  • AncientSpiritNewDay

    A man with multiple baby mamas is
    a man that makes impulsive decisions, clearly doesn’t use condoms, and
    doesn’t like to commit for very long, if at all. All they want to do is
    get their d*ck wet, they don’t care if a baby is created because that
    doesn’t stop the show. Ain’t nobody got time for that!!! I want a man
    who doesn’t have any children like me, that end. I rebuke that baby daddies, stay the hell away from me!!!

    • ZLoves

      “rubuked” Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirl you got me rolling. You spoke a word honey!! lmbo!!

  • Ms. Kameria

    I absolutely could not date a man with multiple kids. Hell, I can’t even date a man with one kid. Believe it or not, but there are nice young men who don’t have this kind of baggage, it just takes time and patience to find one.

    • JMO

      GIRL, we are >>HERE<<. I want to share the 1st child/parenting experience with my man, therefore even 1 child is too much for me. My bf & I have been together for several years, likely getting married next year and we fantasize about our 1st child. I want us to both experience that together.

  • Laine

    #7…isn’t the whole purpose of dating to see if you guys fit romantically/ have a long term relationship? Well, then dating someone who has children, when you know that you could not be in a relationship with someone who has them, is misleading

  • GymJunkie43

    Unless he was married, more than one child might imply that he doesn’t learn from his mistakes. Same goes for women. Nobody wants an Octo-mom or dad.

  • IllyPhilly

    Multiple baby mamas, no.

  • Guest360

    That really depends on how many kids he has and what his relationship is like with their mother. I refuse to be caught in the middle of baby mama/ex wife drama.

  • Envy

    Helllll no, baby moma drama