A “Married Woman” Or A Wife: Which Woman Do You Really Want To Be?

June 7, 2013  |  


Is what I desire what I truly desire? Is what I want what I really think it is? Do I really know what I am asking for, or is my fantasy greater than the reality I dream of?

So he finally proposed and you’ve set the date. You’ve picked out the perfect dress, selected your bridal party and planned the perfect day to profess your love to the one who professed his love to you when he asked for your hand in marriage. These have been the moments you have been waiting for; being proposed to and planning a wedding and you are now ready to be a wife!

Or are you?

I ask this question because there are a number of single women, and even women who are married, who only desired the union of marriage but they were not ready to take on the task of being a wife. Being married means to unite with the man who has been designed for you in holy matrimony. It also means to take one as an intimate life partner to fulfill your purpose in life together as one unit. Sounds simple enough, right? While marriage is indeed a sacred union, both a man and woman, husband and wife, have roles to play to keep the marriage together. There are a number of women who desire marriage for companionship, financial security, social status, because they want to have children, so on and so on, but how many women want to be a wife in their marriage and not simply a married woman in relationship status?

As a wife a woman has a number of tasks to maintain within the marriage, which I am sure many of us are aware of. However, in order  to complete these tasks and to truly call herself a wife, a woman must first know and recognize what it means to be a wife and not simply a married woman. Some characteristics of a wife include possessing superior inner qualities, having dignity, being selfless, being a helping hand to your husband (for those who are single, being helpful to those around you), having moral worth, having a good reputation, having and using wisdom, having respect for your husband and the marriage, possessing skills/abilities and using them to maintain the household, knowing how to communicate (this includes listening and being heard), being one who practices humility, and the list goes on. These are the traits that a woman who is destined to be a wife is ready to possess.

Without these and other qualities, it will be difficult for a married woman to call herself a wife…in fact, it may be difficult for her husband to call her his wife as well. Further fact, it may be difficult for a man who is seeking his wife to find her if she does not possess these traits as a single woman first. I believe many women desire marriage, but really aren’t ready for what it entails. I say this because so many women and men go into marriage blindly and for the wrong reasons. Just watch some of the Bridezillas. Society has a painted a distorted picture of what being a wife is (getting a fancy wedding), and those images have been set in the minds and hearts of so many single and married women. Something needs to change.

Being married is a beautiful blessing for the parties involved directly and indirectly, and it serves a purpose in those lives. But I am curious to know how many women really want to be a wife and not simply a married woman? I challenge you to reflect on and reevaluate your reasons for desiring marriage and ask yourself if you are ready for the challenges and the triumphs of being a wife. Or is that you truly only desire to be a married woman for the status, because if the latter is true, you and your mate may be in for a rude awakening. What are some reasons you desire marriage? Are they self-centered? Do you want to be a married woman, or a wife?

Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pray For? Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.

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