Do Better: 9 Thoughts Of A Basic Chick

June 5, 2013  |  
Source: Shutterstock

If you’re hip to the lingo, you’ve probably heard the term “basic” being applied to women who make irresponsible life decisions or place value on the shallow or superficial. Typically, when the word basic is used it’s followed by another b word. But since we don’t want to offend or appear basic ourselves, we’re going to use chick for the purposes of this post. While none of us is “too good” to have moments of basic chick-ness; stuff happens and you may occasionally step out of your character. But if you consistently find yourself subscribing to these dysfunctional schools of thought, then this is a wake up call, a plea to do better. See what I mean.

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My “stuff” is so good he’ll never leave.

Not true dear. A grown woman realizes that her love below is not enough to keep a man. And even if it were, is that the type of man you’d want? If you’re going to keep  a man, you’ll want to know your personality, actions and your general chemistry are the reasons he sticks around. I know this is common sense for most of us; but I fear the music industry over the years has led several young girls astray. All the kegels in the world aren’t going to make you worthy of commitment if you still have some self work to accomplish.

Source: Shutterstock.com

He hits me because he’s passionate

Any woman could find herself in an abusive relationship. It happens to very strong, very accomplished women all the time. The problem presents itself when you start normalizing this very dysfunctional behavior as a rationalization for staying in this type of situation. A man who beats you to show how much he cares, is a man who needs help. And you can’t be the one to see him through.

Source: iStock

She don’t have to know

Old school R&B songs seemed to glorify being the side chick. (See SWV’s “You’re The One.”) But in actuality, just because a man is ok with being unfaithful it doesn’t mean that’s license for you to dip out with her man. Even if the relationship ends up becoming monogamous, it’s still bad for your karma. While it may seem like we’re all out here for self, doing to another woman what you wouldn’t want done to you, is the epitome of tacky.

Source:iStock

I know she seduced him!

If the tables are reversed though, you must realize that while the “other woman” might have seduced your man, at the end of the day, you’re in a relationship with him. So no need to come for the other woman. While she might have betrayed you as well, unless she raped dude, your issue needs to be with him.

Source: iStock

He, she, it can get “the business”

One of the girls I went to high school with lives a life full of stress and turmoil. Occasionally, she’ll question the reasons why she has to go through so much hell. But a short scroll through her other statuses quickly reveal that she is the root cause behind 95 percent of her problems. Essentially, she thrives on mess. Just the other day she was bragging about blacking out and fighting someone who had an issue with her younger cousin. Honey, as a grown woman/mother of two, you should not be out here fighting period but you really shouldn’t be fighting battles that aren’t yours. By the time you turn 18, and your penchant for fisticuffs can land you in jail, it’s time to put that life behind you.

Source: Shutterstock.com

I won’t let him see his son then…

Of all the basic behaviors this one is probably the most sickening because it affects the life an innocent child. Not getting along with the father of your child is never an excuse to intentionally deny visitation. Unless you believe he’ll endanger your child, keeping your little one away from a father who wants to be present is not just basic, it’s practically evil.

pregnant_girl
If I get pregnant I can just have another abortion

If you ask me birth control, should be proactive and not retroactive. And while I’m sure some consider abortions a form of birth control, because it prevents a birth, having repeat abortions is not the most cost effective way to prevent a child from coming into the world. I’m not one to tell women what to do with their bodies, but know that subjecting your body to several  abortions can cause problems with fertility later in life. You can avoid all of that with other, less dangerous forms of protection.

Source: Shutterstock

Stepping out dressed to the nines while your children look homeless

Kids will be kids. And there are times when your child will come home looking completely unrecognizable. But if you leave the house first thing in morning fresh than a mug and your child looks like he’s had to struggle, there’s something wrong.

Source: Shutterstock.com

You talk more about about other people than you think about your own problems

We all talk about people, there’s no denying that. But when a majority of your day is spent discussing the lives of others, while not acknowledging your own shortcomings, there’s a problem. Remember “Great mind discuss ideas, average minds discuss events and small minds discuss other people.”

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  • .

    well thank heavens I don’t get my self esteem from rappers or media. If only you could say the same for yourself.

    • Billy Official

      Sure you dont..

  • guest

    In that case I use to hang with a gang of basic females. On girl just about has done everything on this list. Needless to say I’m no longer friends any of them anymore.

    • lrobinson6

      U clearly just as basic. You know birds of a feather. Bow. Then you talking about other people like the damn article just brought up. You qualify.

      • guest

        lol…maybe I am….I haven’t met a female yet that didn’t talk about another female.

  • kb

    I am not an arbiter of cool, but I thought “basic”, meant just ordinary, w/out swag. Anyhoo, the LAHH ladies believe in page 2. I heard them tout their “p” and national TV no less ; Erica Mena, which isn’t a surprise, given her limited skill set, but Karlie Redd should know better , she is 40+.

  • Billy Official

    Why is every example illustrated by a photo of a dark skinned woman? If this post was abt something positive, guarantied there would be a light skinned woman portrayinv the role. Thats why ho*s like Draya will stay women and women like the first lady will stay being frowned upon. For this to be a “black” site, we sure know how to tear each other down & promote self hatred.

    • M spencer

      Omg here we go!some of Y’all dark skinned women just look for ways to something to complain. The post is about blk women on a black women’s blog. Calm down I’m sure this was not an intentional pun to darker skinned women, although some of you will see what you chose to see.

    • ..

      As a dark skinned woman I have to say, some of you love to reach to find colorism in ANYTHING. I was so oblivious to the color of the women in the photos.

      I hate using the “i word” cause people attribute it to everything these days, but this is nothing but insecurity

    • olivia

      You are the only one scrolling thru the pics counting the darker complected women. nobody else even noticed that…

      You need a new hobby.

      • marie

        sorry but I noticed it too 🙂 and I’m not dark-skinned just in case you try to call me sensitive

      • Billy Official

        Im not darkskinned actually.

  • AboveTheInfluence

    REAL scenarios I’ve seen time and time again.
    ” He keep giving me STDS!”
    ” Then why do you continue to sleep with him and sleep with him unprotected? ”
    ” Because that’s my baby daddy ”
    Those dumb broad who thinks if you have children with somebody, they earn the right to treat you any kinda way. Those idiots who continue to sleep with a man who has cheated on them and deny their children and will fight any other female thy sleep around with. Why does it seem like the population is getting dumber????

    • guest

      Couldn’t agree more. This baby daddy mentality is just a basic as it can get. LAHH ATL displays these low self esteemed women on a weekly basis. It’s so sad that so many women can relate…by choice..lol

  • HoneyDipp

    We would hope these are things young girls would grow out of as they mature…. Reality is that young fools grow into old fools in most cases. Smh.

  • HoneyDipp

    We would hope these are things young girls would grow out of as they mature…. Reality is that young fools grow into old fools in most cases. Smh.

  • Howlovely

    I actually agree with all of these. You forgot trying to trap a man by getting pregnant. That’s about as basic as it gets.

    • Realityh03$Anonymous….ohwait

      Ohhhh thats not basic thats just triflin.

  • Trollolol

    this article was basic.

  • Trollolol

    this article was basic.

    • D. Rose in the paint

      yea it was…like they are just describing stupid broads….if you have half a brain you can see them coming from a mile

    • scandalous7

      yea its basic to us non-basic people, the basic chicks probably find this article enlightening. lol.