Excuse Me Miss, Can I Have Some C**chie? My Summer Jam Struggles & Successes

June 3, 2013  |  

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First, let me say that I never envisioned myself going to Summer Jam. I’m a Hip Hop fan as much as the next person but being around other Hip Hop fans, in certain settings isn’t necessarily something that appeals to me. In other words, there’s a certain level of hood that one should expect at these type of events; and though observing and participating in this behavior can be fun, in excess it’s a bit much for me. But even still when an associate said she might have tickets for my sister and I to attend the show, I said yes before I really thought about what I was agreeing to. By the time Sunday arrived, and we were sure we were going to get the tickets, I started feeling a little apprehension. But since my sister was so excited about going, I decided to take one for the team. And even though, I sucked it up and made the trek, my apprehension was warranted. There was confusion and plenty ratch to go around. But at the end of the night, I had to agree the entire experience was fun…very fun.

Here’s how it all went down.

First my sister and I had to figure out how to get from the city to New Jersey. We made it to Port Authority only to be sent on a whirlwind mission to buy bus tickets. First we were on the ground floor, then we went upstairs. Then an attendant told us we needed to go back downstairs. Once we found the correct place to buy our ticket, stood in line and got to the window, the attendant told us he only accepted cash, despite the fact there was both a Visa and Mastercard emblem on the window. So we had to leave Port Authority to get cash.

As we were walking out the door to get to the ATM, a man, who appeared to be homeless, looked up at me from his spot on the ground and asked with all sincerity,

“Excuse me miss, can I have some coochie?”

As someone who was already apprehensive about the whole day, this was a bad, bad omen. I was too ready to go home and might have even mentioned this fact to my sister a couple of times.

But we pressed on.

As we were waiting in line to purchase tickets, we had to endure a man describe his recent sexual excursion with an Asian woman from last week. After listening to him imitating her sex noises, we bought our tickets and headed for the bus. At this point, I’d calmed down from the earlier assault and decided to enjoy the day as a social experiment, a chance to people watch.

After a 15 minute drive, we got to Met Life stadium. Just walking through the parking lot was an experience in and of itself. There were several barbeque grills set up, red Solo cups littered the ground, men flexed in drop top cars that had just been washed and to top it all off, there was a woman standing on the roof of a car dancing for her life. I had to smile (and snap a few pictures) thinking this was a scene straight out of The Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff’s “Summertime.”

Source: Hot 97

We got to our seats just as Miguel was taking the stage. (Apparently, we just missed Joe Budden’s set.) He was on his rocker steez but I really appreciated him performing “Power Trip” with J Cole and then “#Beautiful” with Mariah Carey.  And unlike her GMA performance, Mariah, in her cut off shirt and daisy dukes, hit those notes at the end of the song.

Source: Instagram

After him, Wale took the stage. Dressed in a long black jacket, a black shirt and black pants with a headband, in 80 degree weather, Wale started his set off slow. After the first song, which I didn’t know, the chords for “Lotus Flower Bomb” started playing. The man sitting next to me proclaimed, “Oh! This my sh!t!” Immediately, after that Wale’s DJ said, “All my single ladies make some noise!” Dude sitting next to me, feeling like maybe his manhood had been challenged said, a bit softer this time, “This still my song though.”

Also during Wale’s performance, a group of women in front of me decided to smoke a Black and Mild. We were outside, so the smoke was billowing around everywhere. My sister and I were fanning it away, annoyed but also realizing we were at an outdoor concert. But the guy behind us wasn’t so understanding.

Man: Can you smoke that sh!t somewhere else?!

Woman 1: Why? We’re outside.

Man: Mumbles something unintelligible.

At this point I’m thinking this was going to escalate. The man was entirely too crunk. And though he and woman number 1 weren’t backing down, her friend interjected herself and diffused the situation.

Woman 2: Alright, alright. You’re right. You have an opinion. We’re sorry. It’s almost done.

She smiled, super sweetly and then just as Wale was rapping “I sweat out weave” from his verse on “No Hands,” she flicked her own and went back to enjoying the show.

Source: Instagram

Chris Brown took the stage and danced for his life just like we expected him to do. His performance was virtually flawless with the exception of the high notes he couldn’t hit for “Fine China.”

Source: Instagram

Fab had the quickest, most awkward performance of the night. His set didn’t include many of his hits, with the exception of “You Be Killin‘Em.” Then he brought out Lil Kim for a hot second. When Kim was accepting her applause, one of the women sitting near me screamed: “Ayo Kim, I liked you when you was black.”After her quick performance, Fab sang for a minute and then lingered on stage, asking the crowd what else he could do. It was clear he had more to do. But after an awkward pause, he thanked the crowd and left. Rumor has it that Foxy Brown, who was back stage, was supposed to come out; but didn’t, for whatever reason. Better luck next time Fab.

wu tang

Wu Tang Clan.  I know someone is going to come for me on this but I did not grow up listening to Wu Tang Clan. And while I respect them and their influence on Hip Hop, I can’t necessarily get into their sound. I know somebody’s mad but that’s my truth. For those who are Wu Tang fans though, they turned it out. And  it was nice to Ol Dirty Bastard’s son, “Young Dirty Bastard” perform “Shimmy Shimmy Ya.”

Source: Instagram

2 Chainz absolutely had the livest performance of the night. I didn’t realize the man had so many hits. The whole set worked but I lived for “I’m Different.” The way 2 Chainz moved across the stage is really like no other. Those long, lanky limbs make for quite a spectacle. He also brought out Nicki Minaj for “ I Luv Dem Strippers.” Not only was this a big deal because it’s Nicki Minaj, it showed a sign of squashed beef between Minaj and Hot 97 DJ Pete Rosenberg. The two hugged it out as she exited the stage. When 2 Chainz was done, he said RIP to this stage and dropped the mic.

Source: Instagram

ASAP Rocky After three calls to the stage ASAP finally appeared. Personally, I was underwhelmed until he brought Bone Thugs and Harmony on to perform. The youngin’s were unimpressed.

kendrick lamar
Kendrick Lamar Of all the rappers that took the stage, I had the most respect for Kendrick. Not only did he bring excellent energy to the stage, his lyricism is truly brilliant. No one is doing what he does right now and that was very clear last night.

Source: Instagram

The Extras

Realizing that the only French Montana song we liked was “Pop That,” my sister and I left after Kendrick’s set. Somewhere in between Kendrick and French, Papoose took to the stage and left everyone in a state of confusion. If you’re wondering why I’ll ask you to name just one Papoose song. Just one. …Right. To close the show, French Montana brought out Lil Wayne and Rick Ross who were throwing money into the crowd.

Fun Times.


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  • Kelly Greenwood

    What!!!! Summer Jam is a must for real hip hop heads here in the northeast! This years show was one of the best. My child who is sixteen loves Bone Thugs, being able to see them live made her birthday extra special. WU Tang killed it!! Nikki and Kim rocking on the same stage was great. This year…hip hop history was made that rainy night in June. For me and mine, its our official kick off for summer. Fifteen years strong!!!! Thank you Summer Jam!!

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  • Tha Real Hamia

    Welp, at least he was being polite tho…

  • Ehh

    I semi enjoyed summer jam. 2 chainz was the best surprisingly lol.. Mariah hit those notes THANK GOD. I felt bad for fab. Foxy was supposed to show up after lil kim and she didnt so he was pissed and ended early. Chris brown n eeds to lip sync fine china those struggle notes he was trying to hit were sad.

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  • sabrina

    Bucket Naked is the only Papoose song I know. And I only know this because I have some hood azz sisters lol

    • guest

      believe it or not, if you look up some of papoose catalog you would find songs that you ladies would appreciate. he don’t call yall out yall name, he don’t lie about what he rap about and is a loyal husband to an incarncerated sister.

      • Kenedy

        Remy Ma!!

  • Tee Elyse

    I didn’t really appreciate Wu-Tang until I was older! But they did have some jams! I liked ODB, Raekwon and Meth aside from the group though!

  • Mimsy

    Funny recap..but 10 pages, really?? REALLY!!??

  • P. Tyus

    Thank you for a very excellent review. I understand exactly where you are coming from. I LOVE Hip-hop (make that GOOD Hip-hop), but these kind of LARGE shows scare me too. Out here in LA we have a big show called “Powerhouse” and it’s coming up soon…won’t be there though. Thank you again!

  • Say What?

    I feel the same way about going to large gatherings that are more than likely to be a bit too hood. Also not to make light of your struggle with the homeless man, but LMFAO!

    • Cool Breeze

      No smart man is checking for you at these events so you’re safe.

  • SBoogie

    Girl you are better than me! I still would’ve passed on those tickets lol But I am glad you and your sis had a fun and safe time… your “coochie” comment reminded me of a homeless guy when I lived in Silver Spring, MD…broad day light he politely asked me if he could come up stairs with me in my apt. and make love… O_O! I had on a business suit and everything… sigh…thanks for sharing your Summer Jam story…

  • Gabie Aldrich

    I would of sprayed that homeless dude cat calling with some water to cool his jets! Besides that nice recap!.