What His Facebook Behavior Says About His Commitment To You

June 21, 2013  |  
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Shutterstock

Hate it or love it, everybody has a relationship with Facebook. That relationship could even be their choice not to use it but, being the mega platform that Facebook is, even that choice says something about a person. Facebook is a tool for many things, including understanding your relationship better. So use it.

"Couple taking a picture pf"

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No pictures of you

It’s not a good sign if you know you and your boyfriend have taken hundreds of photos together, and none of them have made it to his page. If he just doesn’t post pictures, that’s one thing. But if pictures of everything else happening on a weekly basis are going up, and your joint pictures are noticeably being left out, your guy could want to appear single. Or, at the very least, feels it’s too much of a commitment to publish photos together.

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Shutterstock

 

Hundreds of pictures of you

The opposite is a problem too! Unless your guy is a photographer and loves to use you as inspiration, be wary of a hundred photos of you and your guy—or even more creepy, just you—on his page. Particularly if this happens within only a few months of dating, be worried. He could be a relationship addict who feels the need to flaunt his “serious commitment” to the world, to feel that he’s solidifying it.

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Check-in’s at every bar

It’s one thing to check into a place you go regularly to earn rewards, but there’s just no reason for your guy to be checking into every single bar he goes to—even when he hits up four in one night. Think about the mental energy required to pause what you’re doing, check out of the moment, pull up Facebook on your phone and check in…he wants somebody to see that. Maybe another woman. Or maybe just women in general.

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Party pictures

Typically speaking, a grown man shouldn’t have pictures of himself  sipping, doing shots, passing out on lawns and throwing up in cars. Potential and current employers keep an eye on your profile these days. And a man’s maturity concerning his work reflects a lot on his maturity in all areas of life. If your guy’s profile runs rampant with party pictures or statuses, he may have some growing up to do.

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“Who wants to fill in with activity/concert here?

He regularly posts open invitations saying things like, “Who wants to take a road trip across America this month?” “Who wants to go to the Ne-Yo concert with me?” and “Who wants to try the new happy hour downtown?” Really? He doesn’t have close friends who he can call on the phone to ask to do these intimate activities? If your guy posts these sorts of invitations to the public, he could be a little lost and looking to fill some void with anyone he can. You may just be another one of those people. A solid guy who chooses his company carefully would never post an invitation like that.

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Shutterstock

Requests to be “in a relationship” almost instantly

Perhaps five minutes after you’ve had the, “So what are we?” talk, or even before you’ve had any such talk, you receive a request to be in a relationship on Facebook from your guy. This is another symptom of the relationship addict who feels the need to feel super close to somebody immediately, skipping the natural progression of getting to know each other.

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Leaves “single” as his status

This is nothing but a bad sign. If he adjusts his status to “single” while you’re dating, that’s definitely a bad sign since he consciously put that out there. But even if he simply forgets to take “single” down—if you’ve been dating for a couple of months, he’s undoubtedly noticed that word gracing the top of his page and considered changing it. And didn’t…

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Puts “in a relationship” but not with who

This is reasonable and respectful. For professional or other reasons, he may understand that you don’t want strangers (or jealous women!) looking you up so he leaves the “with who” part blank. And in addition, it’s respectful that he does want other women to know he’s off the market.

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Has no relationship status up

This is also reasonable. Some people don’t want their private matters being public. To your guy, his Facebook page may have no romantic undertones or purposes at all. He may only post on it for work reasons, or to promote his company, and so his relationship status is irrelevant. Also, some individuals feel silly changing that status every time they go in and out of relationships, so they just never mess with it to begin with.

"Black man cell phone pf"

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Is extremely active on Facebook

It’s natural, when you’re really into someone and getting serious, to become less active on Facebook. Facebook is predominantly a singles scene—a little part of us goes on there to fill some void that isn’t being filled by a partner, whether that’s just conversation, laughter or flirtation. And when you’re getting all that from one person, you tend to ease up on the Facebook activity. So if your guy is still very active on Facebook, his attentions might not be as focused on the relationship as you’d hope.

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Shutterstock

Stops being active completely

Another sign he’s a relationship addict: he cuts off contact with the outside world the second he gets a girlfriend. Any healthy, stable person keeps up their hobbies, joys and interests even when they are in a relationship—and that includes keeping up your social media platforms! Be wary of the man who quits Facebook cold turkey for you.

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Posts very personal statuses

He posts statuses about how sad he is about his mom’s illness, or how stressed he is about work, or how disappointed he is in himself over some failure. Why is he putting this out there for the world to comment on/message him about?? Shouldn’t he be talking to, oh, I don’t know, his girlfriend about these matters?? Again, he may be looking for the attention of other women or may be a little emotionally lost if he’s letting strangers in on such private matters.

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Posts vague statuses

“Ugh…” “Too bad” “Feeling sad…” Not only should these types of posts only be on the wall of a 13-year-old girl, they are a cry for help. And why is your guy crying for help to strangers? Possibly more annoying is, they’re a cry for attention. And any guy who needs constant attention is insecure, and will follow any person that gives him the most attention. Including another woman…

"Man taking picture of himself in the mirror pf"

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Posts selfies

He shouldn’t be posting pictures of his new abs on Facebook! He should be modeling them for you in the bedroom. Maybe a selfie of a drastically new haircut is acceptable. But other than that, selfies just scream, “I’m on the market!”

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  • dj r

    To sum it up, he can’t use face book !

    Seriously girls, we men don’t think that much though behind what we do ! Stop analyzing everything he does. If we did this to you, something tell me you would be screaming ” he is a control freak”.

  • kasiola

    This is BS, no self-respecting person would advertise his/her relationship for all the world. That’s just an invitation to problems.

  • announcergirl

    I made a conscious choice not to use Facebook. After dealing with too many men who were addicted to Facebook and MySpace, who had pictures of women and ex-girlfriends clustering their pages. Men who constantly dialogued who didn’t have to let go of women of the past because they were connected on the network, and who were constantly in touch with new ones. I do not want a man that uses social networking that much. So, I can’t either. I have gotten a lot of flack. People say that it is not the network but the person. I agree. I also know that I just don’t need the extra headache of thinking about FB. I deleted my account.

    BE THAT WHICH YOU SEEK.

    It worked.

    • Lana

      I have social media accounts but I’m rarely on them. When I was I never did status updates but I always saw people who always gave a play by play of their day . I feel like social media has ruined a lot of relationships (not just romantically but friendship, family etc.). People don’t communicate anymore they just go to Facebook to decipher and assume what someone is up to based on the info on their page. So sad

    • guest

      I feel the same way I have no Facebook,Twitter, or Instagram I don’t need it. If I don’t call or text u on a daily basis it means I don’t care to know what your doing. To many friendships and relationships have been ruined because of these three sites.

      • Bianca

        Yes! People look at me as if I’m a magical unicorn when I tell them I have no social media accounts and never will. Like you, I always tell people you can call, text or email me–plus what would you have to say to a person in person if you talk to them on social media all the time? Also, why would I share my personal business with people who I don’t know, don’t talk to anymore or never liked? lol I think the whole thing is stupid.