When The Shoe Don’t Fit, You Have To Quit! The Worst Celebrity Foot Offenses

May 23, 2013  |  

You can have your hair right and your outfit pressed. But if your feet are ashy and your toes crumpled you may as well go on back in the house. If you’ve ever been caught out having a bad foot day, you’re not alone. Check out our list of the the worst celebrity foot offenses.

Julianne Moore

Julianne Moore

Girl. I don’t even know how you squeezed your dogs into those shoes. Your toes are trying to escape and you need to restore circulation to those piggies before you lose one. We know you came to Cannes with a pair of flip flops or running shoes or something. You’d be better off rocking those down the runway.
Kim's Feet 1

Kim Kardashian

Sigh. When will Kim Kardashian put her ego aside, accept that she’s pregnant and stop trying to rock thin Kim’s fashions? Those swollen dogs look like sausages. I bet she’s still got the lines from this plastic on her feet. She needs to do like Beyonce and duck out of the limelight while she packs on the pregnancy pounds. Then she can pop back up after her physical trainer brings those balloons down to size.
Adrienne photo

Adrienne Bailon

No ma’am.
Have you ever been in a shoe store like I need these in a size 8 and the clerk comes back like will a 6 work? Adrienne looks like she bought them anyway and tried to make them work. She can’t even get her whole foot in the shoe.
Iman's Feet

Iman

Who says modeling isn’t a hard job? Just look what it’s done to Iman’s feet. The bunion isn’t even the worst of her problems. Those toes are so desperate for relief that they’re climbing all over one another to escape. That looks like toe PTSD to me. Someone tell Iman and her feet that she’s been retired from the runway for a minute. She can get foot surgery and more comfortable shoes whenever she wants.
Michelle's Feet

Michelle Yeoh

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon star Michelle Yeoh is so acrobatic, even her feet do tricks. How do you even get your big toe to lay on its side like that? Yoga? Secret martial arts techniques? That’s deep.
Oprah's Feet

Oprah

Now Oprah knows that she has enough money to get those bunions taken care of. They’re so big, I’m starting to wonder how she gets those hooves into regular shoes. You think O Magazine Photoshops those bunions down while they’re trimming Oprah’s figure?
Angela's Feet

Angela Bassett

Angela’s toes look like they are terrified of touching the floor. You’d think someone that graduated from Yale would know that that wouldn’t be a problem. Shoe fitting isn’t that complicated. If you leave toe prints and shoe prints at the same time, you’re shoes are too small. At least those scrunch-puppies are well manicured, I guess.
Jennifer's Feet

Jennifer Garner

If your toe does this, maybe sandals aren’t for you. I know it’s hot in LA, but there are plenty of mesh and strappy shoes that will keep that thing from seeing the light of day. And if any style critics ask you why you don’t rock stylish open-toed shoes, just flash them that gnarled, stunted toe and they won’t ask you about it anymore.
Katie's Feet

Katie Holmes

I don’t know what’s going on with Katie’s feet. Are her toes curling up in shame and trying to hide under those swollen knuckles? Or are those just corns? Or is it both? I know her shoes don’t fit. She should probably walk those dogs to a doctor to get them checked out.
Kirsten's Feet

Kirsten Dunst

Well, this is new. I don’t know what’s going on with Kristen’s feet, but I do know that this should have been a bootie day. Feet like that need to be kept a secret. Otherwise, someone’s likely to put you under quarantine. For all we know it could be contagious.
Keri's Feet

Keri Hilson

Did you know that your feet can swell up to 1/2 size during the course of a day? Keri doesn’t. But before we cap on her too hard, I want to acknowledge all of the women out there who’ve opted for the half size under. Sometimes shoes feel too cute to pass up just because they squish your feet. But you can’t keep your toes tucked forever. Learn a lesson from Keri and wait for your size before somebody caps on those puppies.
D Woods' Feet

D Woods

These Hobbit feet belong to D Woods of Danity Kane. They are long and flat and I bet she’s mad that the Paparazzi caught her out of her shoes. We’re not even going to talk about how gross it is to dance barefoot in the club. Yuck.
Kate Beckinsale's Feet

Kate Beckinsale

We’re starting to think that Kate has something against shoes that fit. Pictures of her ill-fitting footware are all over the internet. But this is the worst. These sandals are too narrow and too small. Are her feet an awkward size or something? Why wouldn’t she spend some of her actress money to get some custom made shoes?
Steven's Feet

Steven Tyler

I can’t ya’ll, I just can’t. Does Steven have two toes sitting at a 90 degree angle to all the other toes? I quit.

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  • Beaufort T. Vanguard

    Jennifer Garner has a toe deformity called brachymetatarsia.

  • Carolyn Carter

    The person who wrote the article is hilarious in their description of these “jacked up” feet. Can’t stop laughing!!!!!

  • Lakeside Grammy

    Hilarious!! Whoever wrote the captions deserves a raise!! OMG too funny!! Thanks for the laugh!

  • be real

    kim feet look hog hooves, pig feet, elephant husk. I would feel bad about saying that but she is doing it to herself.. smh

  • Whitney

    STEVEN TYLER WHYYY?!?

  • Surprise-1

    I think anyone wearing the shoe in picture 13 feet would look like that. Those look like a hard to shoe to deal with.

  • RandaE

    Angela’s toes look terrifying AND TERRIFIED of her taking another step!
    *shiver me timber toes*

  • RandaE

    Vanity is taking over common sense, OR, she doesn’t know how to compute European sizes into American!

  • Patrice Reid

    Some of you folks are ridiculous and so is this author. How dare you decide what someone else should or shouldn’t wear based on YOUR issues? The ones that are wearing too small shoes, yes, they need to stop. The ones with corns and bunions might be able to have them fixed or they may have decided to live their lives and to hell with other people. As for the ones with a congenital defect(which is what it is), have any of you researched what it takes to get that fixed? I have feet similar to some of these, just without the corns. The big toe is at an angle and the other toes are angled as well. It makes the spot where the toe angles look like a bunion. In order to get it fixed, it costs hundreds of thousands in surgery. And even if you don’t focus on the cost, each foot has to be done separately. They have to completely break all of the bones in the lower part of the foot in order to realign the toe bones. Then the surgery recipient has to spend months in a cast while the foot heals and is retrained to its new shape(straight). Who has time to be hobbling around? And for what? What someone else has to say?

    • DFrostedTuna

      First off, you do realize that most of these celebrities have complete medical coverage for pretty much any kind of procedure, right? Second, if I needed it, I personally would go through said surgery if I had the coverage. Not because of what other people think but because I know things like that can be painful at times and limit what you can do and wear sometimes. Deformities in any scenario make life difficult or frustrating at the very least and can even be dabilitating. Yes, if you don’t have coverage or the money you can “live with it” and cope, but the point of the article is that they can afford it but cope anyway. Also, for these people their image is everything, it’s a fact of life. It’s something you have to accept if your going into that world. Besides I think they damn well should care about their appearances (and their health) for dignity and self-esteem and not just their image, so they don’t have to suffer humiliating articles like this, heck, gossip magazines are ten times worse then what was written here. Also, do you have any idea ho much time they spend in front of a mirror just doing their hair? Add on to that their makeup? And they can’t spend a little time to care for their feet? I mean come on.

  • Fun Watcher

    Hilarious commentary on each pic! Enjoyably funny!!

    • Tiassopinkmommy

      I know I’m late but I must admit this article was funny

  • jolie

    she either has a rash or she is shooting up in her feet…….

  • jolie

    WTF AND LMAO!!

  • jolie

    it just shows that they get the same foot problems as all women from
    wearing all those high class, high heels. This page is tooooooo funny,
    laughing so hard, I am getting excercise!

  • jolie

    I don’t even get my feet done and I am older than her and don’t have a lot of money. and
    my feet look good. So WHAT is HER excuse! crouching toe, hidden blister – ancient bunion
    secret.

  • jolie

    Who says modeling isn’t a hard job? Just look what it’s done to Iman’s feet. – LOLOLOLOL!!!
    This is sooooooooo sad, Iman I would never have believed there was an ugly thing on you!

  • Tellyawut

    A few of these women don’t have bad feet. They are just crouching their toes in to keep them off the ground, because they are wearing shoes way too small.

  • Cinnamon71

    I’m sorry but with all the money that these celebrities make they can’t make an appointment to get their foot abnormalities fixed during their downtimes/time off? What is that about? If my feet looked like this, best believe I would be wearing closed toe flats or tennis shoes if I was out in public…smh Ouch is right on a lot of these womens’ feet…If they don’t take care of this mess now, they will definitely pay for it later when they get much older. There’s just no excuse not to get surgery when you have the money and access to the best podiatrists in the business. They are just posing and walking around like no one is paying attention to those 2 sizes 2 small shoes or the hammertoes, corns and bunions saying hello to the paparazzi and the world…smh Get those feet/toes fixed ladies, stat!!!!

    • Tellyawut

      I was going to write to exact same thing!

  • pinkvanity

    They got a lot of GOTDAYM nerves wherein revealing shoes when there toes are doing the crip walk!

  • Anne M

    Wow. I have to say this is a life changing article for me. I never knew what a bunion was until I saw these pictures (I’ve never had one and have never seen one on anyone I know) and I had no idea feet could look that bad. I have not gotten a manicure or a pedicure for nearly four years because I thought I was too hideous. Much to my surprise my feet are rather normal, even attractive compared to these horrors. I truly had no idea it was possible for feet to look like these celebrity feet.

  • furpurr

    I think, before you start cutting on folks about “having the money to take care of that…”, you might first consider using part of your OWN money to hire a decent editor!! Your grammar, punctuation, & immense amount of spelling errors are simply atrocious!! Pot calling the kettle, indeed.

  • Guest

    Her feet look like a can of biscuits

  • Wow!

    LMFAO!

  • CandiiRainz™

    This little piggy is Screaming!!!!

  • Soffy

    For the women who had toes jumping over the front of their shoes, they should probably not moisturize the bottom of their feet. Because I have really skinny feet if I don’t wear shoes that are really narrow and avoid oils near my sole my toes do the same thing. I make sure I don’t buy shoes that are too wide at the mouth as well. Solved that problem for me.

  • Ms. Bee

    Don’t shade Queen Angela. Don’t do it.

  • FromUR2UB

    I’ll be glad when this story moves on the site. Kim K’s fat feet are right there at the top of the screen, where you can’t miss them. Water balloons stuffed into shoes.

  • Misty-Mac

    Hummmmm. I don’t know. I find it quite strange that none of these pictures were CONNECTED to the owners. Was artistic license taken here?

  • IMJSANYUmad

    O Gul best be careful b4 Oprah take her LIFE

  • Jj2

    I don’t know why in the sam hill I just clicked through feet shots, toes that look like fingers ewwwwwww 🙁

  • Wow

    OMG I’m going to need therapy after looking at these pics. OUCH!!!! I’ve been sitting here trying to see if I could get my toes to curl up like arthritic fingers and I can’t do it. How in the world do they squish their feel in those too little shoes and what’s wrong with wearing shoes that fit? If your dogs are a size 10, why try to squeeze them in a size 7? That’s taking vanity waaaaay too far.

  • FromUR2UB

    Wow. Some of these people have some real foot deformities. Look like toes were broken that weren’t set (if that’s possible) and didn’t heal properly. I’ve never seen the feet of a professional dancer, but I would imagine their feet look like some of these, especially the ones covered in corns. I don’t know of any of these people making their living as dancers, so what’s the deal with the feet? But if your feet look like these, WHY would you pick the barest sandal to display them? Steven Tyler’s feet look like those dogs that win ugly dog contests, and he has the nerve to have polish on them too!

  • Courtney Brown

    This writer is a genius! Love the wittiness. I was literally laughing out loud. Great Job.

  • Rashida

    Ugh!!! Ugliness!

  • Janae

    Who made up this fake article? Nothing else to do today?

  • Trollolol

    People still use the phrase “cap on” in 2013?

  • mac

    is it just me or was this article written nastier than necessary? Started off okay, but after a while, it just….wasn’t cool. I mean, coming from my snarky self, that says a lot.

    • Sociable Hermit

      I agree. I’d expect women writers to be less judgmental. If I wanted to read about body snarking, I’d head over to Star or In Touch. I expect so much more from Madame Noire.

  • MLS2698

    All you have to do is add some vinegar, salt, pepper, and a large pot to make some pigs feet with Kim’s pic. Bay leaves for extra flavor…..

    • be real

      same thing i said. pure cerdo asado…

  • Mona Lisa

    TRAGIC.

  • Hideous! These people have way too much money too have feet that look that this (Except Angela Bassett…I didn’t think hers were so bad).

  • York

    Does Kim–or her stylist–or Kanye–know she’s a tad bit pregnant? IJS.

  • JRoc85

    Hahahahahaha… these pictures are too funny! Why would these celebrities do this to themselves???????

  • Reese

    Ouch!! That is the only thing I can say to this pictures. Like why would you squeeze your foot into a shoe that is too small or have a poor fit on your foot. Yikes! Kim K knew better.