You can have your hair right and your outfit pressed. But if your feet are ashy and your toes crumpled you may as well go on back in the house. If you’ve ever been caught out having a bad foot day, you’re not alone. Check out our list of the the worst celebrity foot offenses.
Girl. I don’t even know how you squeezed your dogs into those shoes. Your toes are trying to escape and you need to restore circulation to those piggies before you lose one. We know you came to Cannes with a pair of flip flops or running shoes or something. You’d be better off rocking those down the runway.
Sigh. When will Kim Kardashian put her ego aside, accept that she’s pregnant and stop trying to rock thin Kim’s fashions? Those swollen dogs look like sausages. I bet she’s still got the lines from this plastic on her feet. She needs to do like Beyonce and duck out of the limelight while she packs on the pregnancy pounds. Then she can pop back up after her physical trainer brings those balloons down to size.
Have you ever been in a shoe store like I need these in a size 8 and the clerk comes back like will a 6 work? Adrienne looks like she bought them anyway and tried to make them work. She can’t even get her whole foot in the shoe.
Who says modeling isn’t a hard job? Just look what it’s done to Iman’s feet. The bunion isn’t even the worst of her problems. Those toes are so desperate for relief that they’re climbing all over one another to escape. That looks like toe PTSD to me. Someone tell Iman and her feet that she’s been retired from the runway for a minute. She can get foot surgery and more comfortable shoes whenever she wants.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon star Michelle Yeoh is so acrobatic, even her feet do tricks. How do you even get your big toe to lay on its side like that? Yoga? Secret martial arts techniques? That’s deep.
Now Oprah knows that she has enough money to get those bunions taken care of. They’re so big, I’m starting to wonder how she gets those hooves into regular shoes. You think O Magazine Photoshops those bunions down while they’re trimming Oprah’s figure?
Angela’s toes look like they are terrified of touching the floor. You’d think someone that graduated from Yale would know that that wouldn’t be a problem. Shoe fitting isn’t that complicated. If you leave toe prints and shoe prints at the same time, you’re shoes are too small. At least those scrunch-puppies are well manicured, I guess.
If your toe does this, maybe sandals aren’t for you. I know it’s hot in LA, but there are plenty of mesh and strappy shoes that will keep that thing from seeing the light of day. And if any style critics ask you why you don’t rock stylish open-toed shoes, just flash them that gnarled, stunted toe and they won’t ask you about it anymore.
I don’t know what’s going on with Katie’s feet. Are her toes curling up in shame and trying to hide under those swollen knuckles? Or are those just corns? Or is it both? I know her shoes don’t fit. She should probably walk those dogs to a doctor to get them checked out.
Well, this is new. I don’t know what’s going on with Kristen’s feet, but I do know that this should have been a bootie day. Feet like that need to be kept a secret. Otherwise, someone’s likely to put you under quarantine. For all we know it could be contagious.
Did you know that your feet can swell up to 1/2 size during the course of a day? Keri doesn’t. But before we cap on her too hard, I want to acknowledge all of the women out there who’ve opted for the half size under. Sometimes shoes feel too cute to pass up just because they squish your feet. But you can’t keep your toes tucked forever. Learn a lesson from Keri and wait for your size before somebody caps on those puppies.
These Hobbit feet belong to D Woods of Danity Kane. They are long and flat and I bet she’s mad that the Paparazzi caught her out of her shoes. We’re not even going to talk about how gross it is to dance barefoot in the club. Yuck.
We’re starting to think that Kate has something against shoes that fit. Pictures of her ill-fitting footware are all over the internet. But this is the worst. These sandals are too narrow and too small. Are her feet an awkward size or something? Why wouldn’t she spend some of her actress money to get some custom made shoes?
I can’t ya’ll, I just can’t. Does Steven have two toes sitting at a 90 degree angle to all the other toes? I quit.