When Women Text… The Ways We Drive Ourselves Crazy Over SMS

May 21, 2013  |  
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Most of us are women here so I don’t have to tell you that when it comes to communication, we’re different than the men folk. We get very particular when it comes to relaying a message. You would think in this digital age, where there are various vehicles to reach out to someone, that communication would be easier. But that’s not the case. And we’ve seen that time and time again when we’re texting. After conducting a small study, we found that we women can be a bit butt when it comes to sending and receiving text messages just the way we like them. In case you don’t know what I mean, find yourself on this list.

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Response Time

We once had a woman write into our relationship columnist Damon Young complaining that a man she was dating, took two hours to respond to a very important text message. She texted him again wondering why he hadn’t responded. And he said that she was annoying him. Damon said that he agreed with her man that she was annoying. Oh. Well that was news to me. Rationally, I know that maybe two hours isn’t that bad and I might not say I was waiting with baited breath; but in my emotional mind, I’m thinking “he doesn’t care!” Two hours is a helluva long time for an important text. Fellas, if you’re trying to woo a woman, know that response time is important to us, even if we don’t say it.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Trying Not To Sound Mean

Women are so awesome, we’re always worrying and wondering if our words and actions are going to offend or hurt someone’s feelings. So it’s not unusual for us to type a message and promptly erase it, realizing that without voice inflection and facial expressions that message might read rude. We doubt men put that much effort into crafting their messages.

Source: Shutterstock

Over explaining

If you’ve seen Mean Girls, you’ve heard of word vomit. Well the same exists on SMS. When I’m typing I know I’m probably doing too much, over-explaining and wasting characters but I can’t stop. I want the recipient to know what I mean.

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Spelling /Grammar

I try to be quick with my texts so an error or two might slip by. I wish I could be one of those people who ignore it, knowing my friends and associates understand my intelligence; but I can’t. Instead I’ll send however many texts it takes to correct the errors, hoping to let my friends and loved ones know that I did indeed go to college.

No smileys

I’m a huge fan of smileys, but when you’re communicating with a man you’re not interested in, a smiley might provide some type of false hope. One day, I watched one of my co workers labor for 10 minutes about how the man she was texting might have incorrectly interpreted her smiley with the tongue out. Ehh there are several ways one could read into that, best to just leave those out.

Source: Shutterstock.com

When to use “LoL” 

Am I the only one who’s noticed that “lol” is the new punctuation? I still take it relatively seriously. Now, I don’t mean that I literally laugh out loud when I type it; but if something barely elicited a smile, then I don’t force the lols. But if I knew the person I was texting was trying really hard to be funny, it doesn’t hurt me to to throw it out there.

Source: Shutterstock.com

Freaking out about the lack of response

Just like we don’t want people taking too long to respond to us, we don’t want to be the one causing someone else anxiety. Usually, if it’s someone I care about, I try to get back immediately or at least let them know I’ll be in touch eventually. It’s only right.

Verbal Convos through text

This is not something I do, having convos you need to have verbally via text. But when others send me long drawn out messages that need to spoken…I’m going to have to call you for clarification.


The almighty ellipsis

When I just might have more to say but don’t necessarily know how to put it, I lean on the ellipsis. Generally, I use it when I want them to know that they should further inquire. But people never do.

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  • MY SMSTEXT# +63.919.261.6111—-TEXONLY,,NOCALL!!!

    SUMMER S….

  • more

    ugh!! i want him to txt me it’s been 2 days smh!! what is the point in asking for someones number if ur going to to take days to txt lol but ya i’m over it

    • Lovely

      He’s has other chicks so doesn’t feel the need to text you right away. I would relegate dude to friend category

      • more

        LOL THANKS

  • more


  • blackwomenwhitemendatingcom

    Dating out of race is much easier
    Black women looking for white men.
    White men looking for black women.
    White women love black men

  • Melissa

    Yep on the majority. Especially with checking my spelling. I’ve even closed my message and opened a dictionary to make sure I was spelling it correctly, sometimes I don’t trust the auto spell check lol 🙂

  • Dina

    Yall are cray with this textn social media stuff lol ! That’s strange because when I text I say what I mean, and convey it exactly as I intended. That’s what they have periods vs exclamation points for & caps, “( )”, ” ? ?? “, “etc”, lol, gthoh, :)(…you are going to feel me be it i’m trying to sound intelligent, cool, mad. As far as waiting on a response I text and forget ! Then again Im probably not even textn you if you didn’t text me therefor I shouldn’t have to worry about you not responding.

    I can’t keep up ! So if you unfollow someone, follow a X, block, don’t text back in a certain amount of time, etc etc it’s the ultimate diss ? That is so funny to me !

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  • Yes i am one of these people. I’m glad to know I’m not alone. But my main problem is reading to deep into a text taking it the wrong way. You can’t read emotion through a text so i prefer a convo. I always find myself saying, so what was that supposed to mean lol.

    • Sasha boguie

      Yes that’s me omg. I once dated this man from NYC and began having feelings for him Long story short he would text Hey love Wyd love I didn’t know if he meant he was having strong feelings or if it was just an expression because he was from NYC. Lol I was over dramatic to embarassed to ask so I would fwd all my guy friends for opinions

      • Lol been there!

      • Lovely

        Just assume it means nothing. A lot of guys use text like that on purpose to sound like the are really into you and play on their words.

        I was just researching the WYD text, because I kind of hate it. It’s so lazy and not really personal, so it could be sent to 10 different women.

        This guy is from the South and keeps calling me Babe and Baby. I’m just like whatever do you boo. Already told you I didn’t want to date you.