Going My Way? How To Flirt On Public Transit
Taking public transportation for the most part is a downer: it’s smelly, crowded, takes too long and you have to deal with all sorts of characters. But, what makes any situation a little more pleasant? Flirting! And it’s not off limits on a bus/train/subway/trolley you name it. You just have to know how to do it so you don’t creep anybody out, or ruin the ride.
Don’t stare, just talk
People are already on the defense when on public transportation. You’re assumed to be crazy unless proven otherwise, so don’t stare at a guy you like. You can give a quick glance or smile, and then move directly into talking. If you don’t move into talking pretty quickly, whoever you’re looking at will think you’re just having weird/creepy thoughts about him.
Start with, “How’s it going”
And the first thing you should say is, “How’s it going?” Say it casually, almost rhetorically. A lot of people just want to be left alone on public transit, and their answer to that question will tell you quickly if that’s the case. If they just answer and don’t ask in return, leave them alone. But if they smile, look you in the eye, answer (maybe with a whole sentence) and ask you in return, they were hoping for some conversation on this trip too.
Make a joke of the situation
Public transportation is funny! There are drunkards sleeping, homeless people with creative speeches asking for money, people in strange costumes and just about everything under the sun. Instead of viewing it as something interrupting your game and making things awkward, take advantage of it and tease it. Show that you can make the best of any situation.
Be courteous to others
Give up your seat to moms, little kids, the elderly and the handicapped. Move your purse off a seat if somebody needs it. Say “excuse me.” People can tell a lot about your patience, level of happiness, and temperament based on how you act on public transit. And you never know who is watching!
Share your snacks
Whoever you’re trying to impress will find it very endearing if you offer them some of your food. Public transit runs late and blood sugar can get low. Your generosity won’t go unnoticed, plus sharing food is an intimate act: great icebreaker with a crush.
Share your music
You’d usually talk about music on a first date anyways, so why not start that bonding right now? If the person you’re interested in looks bored and you’re sitting next to him, offer him one of your ear buds. In a way, this will feel like you’re two kids on the school bus together again, and there is something inherently flirty about that.
Don’t sit/stand too close
Unless the place is packed, don’t sit or stand directly next to the person you’re eyeing. Remember: you’re crazy until proven otherwise when it comes to public transit. And in any given situation, nobody likes you encroaching on his personal space.
Odds are the public transportation you are on smells less than amazing, and anybody would be attracted to a whiff of clean air at that point.
Leave off the ear buds
Other than for the purpose of sharing your music with a cutie, don’t listen to music on public transport if you’re hoping to flirt. Nobody will approach you if you have your earphones on.
Leave your phone alone
Playing with your phone also screams, “Leave me alone!” You might be doing it out of insecurity, but others read it as a distancing measure. Plus, there’s something charming about somebody who can peacefully sit and enjoy the scenery around them without drowning in technology: there are so few people left like that.
Read conversation-starting books
Don’t read novels: read fun, trendy, interesting books. Read interesting How-To books with titles like, “How to travel through Europe on $10 a day” and “Craziest recipes from around the world.” All of these topics are something that your crush could chime in on.
Give tips for where the person is going
You’re all going somewhere, and that in and of itself is a conversation starter. Ask where your crush is headed, and ask if he’s been to your favorite restaurant/bar/museum in that area. Give him quirky tips on how you like to enjoy that place.
Pretend to be new to the bus line
When all else fails and you can’t muster the courage to just start chit chatting, pretend to be clueless about the public transit line and ask your crush for directions. Maybe offer to get him a drink in return…
Don’t outright flirt
When it comes down to it, nobody wants to be hit on on a bus or subway. They don’t want the memory of the first time you two got super flirty to be surrounded by smelly strangers. Keep all conversation friendly and casual on the actual public transit, and keep blatant flirtation to if and when you get a date.