An Open Letter To Jason Collins’ Ex-Fiancee: Tuck Your Thirst In

May 17, 2013  |  

Credit: Shutterstock

Dear Carolyn Moos:

Hey, girl. How are you? I hope you’re keeping yourself together in the wake of your ex-fiancé Jason Collins’ coming out of the closet. That had to have been a tough thing for you to endure, especially since you reportedly only found out that Collins is gay days before he went public. I’m sure this hasn’t been tougher on anyone than it has been on you.  …Except maybe for Jason.

That being said, I feel some kind of way about the media blitz you’ve been engaging in. Talk shows, magazine articles, modeling the dress you would have worn down the aisle with Collins, and now plans for a book. Let’s be clear, I don’t want to belittle your experience at all; I’ve never been in your shoes, but I’m certain it has to suck. But… you kind of look a wee bit like an opportunist.

Since you did essentially find out about all this with the rest of us, it would seem that you’d need some time to let it all sink in before seeking out the camera and writing on an experience that you’re kind of still experiencing. Maybe you feel like you’re owed something for the time you spent heading down a dead end path with Collins. Maybe you’re translating the emotional currency you doled out into American dollars now. I’m not judging; maybe I’d do the same thing! But if I did, I’d hope that there would be someone near and dear enough to me who cares for me enough to tell me to have a seat and not behave so thirstily. Take all the time you need to heal, but stop chasing the spotlight to do it.

At the very least, honey, keep the wedding dress in the closet and quietly freeze those eggs. When the book drops, enough people will remember you and your experience to read it if they have an interest. Then you’ll heal, get your palms greased a little, and still keep a modicum of your dignity.

It’s a very pretty dress though. May you get to rock it one day!



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  • Latrece Hoskins

    to the author of this article: girl,please. i really don’t care for Jason Collins,brittney griner’s got my admiration,because he lead a woman on for nine years ,wasting her time when he knew at age 11 that he was gay (disgusted eye roll) then ,in an interview with George Stephanopoulos,he said that he told her A WEEK before he came out to the public?? real respect right? i wonder if he had sex with men within the nine years he was Carolyn Moos “boyfriend”? in an interview,she said that they are “best friends”… she’s too kind.

  • Atin

    I guess I understand where the writer is coming from, but how do we know that she sought out the media? What if the media sought her out? Or maybe she did reach out to the media and that’s just her way of dealing with it. Who knows, but her….. The writer of this article said she’s not judging, but she is. I know judging seems to be a human thing, but don’t say you’re not judging when you are. Although you may not be judging her for being in that situation, you are judging her for the way she is handling it…

  • mac

    Folks out here capitalizing on sex tapes, news interviews, their sexual orientation, all sorts. Go and get your paper, sis. I ain’t mad.

  • Angelitis

    Why is there no open letter to Jason Collins about him being a “DL brotha”? He didn’t have to put that girl through that for 7 years…

    • MsK

      Ok..Hell he’s the one that’s thirsty!! Just had to do something for some attention

    • hollyw

      Ikr this was an obvious case of “The Downlow Brotha”, idk why MN is trying to throw shade like this chick’s gaydar is “broken”. Sooo do majority of Black women who got HIV from DLs have broken gaydar, too? For pete’s sake, even this dude’s TWIN BROTHER didn’t know!

  • Moni

    Girl that’s heartbreaking and completely embarrassing 7 years and all the time he was a DL brother (He was very deceiving I’m pretty sure he did the most to cover up). Honey get that money, tell your story and collect them check. Thirsty and bitter? Dang Right this lady should be. These DL men don’t know the damage they do to people and their family who are left puzzled, parent be 60+ shocked and too old to be excepting and understanding..

  • bigdede

    If he’s going to capitalize off of it, so can she! Jason Collins is not an active basketball player because he is not signed to any team. He came out so he could either get signed or get another career. She wasted years with him so let her get her 15 mins and come change.

    • anonymouse

      i agree…the dude’s career average is barely 1 point. If he can make money off of it, so can she.

  • hollyw

    Okaaay am I the only one who understands why she’s do vocal..? I mean, wouldn’t do it maself, b/c I’m too proud, but dag…7yrs, all ya family knows him, you prob have bonded w/ all his family ( and the world), he proposes, then waits right up until the wedding to be like, “Yeeeah…can’t do this no mo…” ALL THEM CHILD-BEARING YEARS?!?!

    Murder. I’d murder him. EFF all these interviews… but hey, that’s just me!! =|

    • let the grl live

      no you are not..dont know why people are acting like countless black women dont have fiances for several years and who cares she is white.

      she deserves to capitalize just like he is.

      anyone can be a victim like she is…

      why do some commenters feel the need to bash her, that is so negative

  • Tehani

    ‘Ratchet’ and ‘Thirsty’ – The two, new, most overused slang words in 2013.

    • hollyw

      …and “take a seat/row of seats/arena of seats”. We get it, they need to sit down.

  • Ann

    It is so amazing how people are always trying to get paid off somebody’s name.

  • Boo hoo, she’s the dummy for not knowing her fiancee is gay for 7 YEARS! That takes a certain kind of delusion to not know your man isn’t attracted to you at all . . . .I mean really?

    • mac

      Stop it.

      It’s not a hard facade to maintain. If a man is having sex with you regularly, plays in the most masculine industry which is professional sports, and has given you no remote reason to be suspicious, it doesn’t take “delusion” to be fooled.

      If it was that simple, the “down-low brotha” epidemic would be nonexistent.

      • He’s gay. Not bi, GAY!!! He’s attracted to men. If you don’t know that about your fiancee of 7 years its because you don’t want to know it.

    • Me

      I’m not mad at her not knowing he was gay. I am however mad at her being his fiancee for 7 years. If you are a man’s fiancee for 7 years, something is wrong! But he chose a white girl for that reason.

      • mac

        “But he chose a white girl for that reason”

        Please. Unfortunately, no one’s more blindly loyal than a black woman with their “have a man by any means” mentality and that is the truth.A black woman would have waited double.

        • Me

          Black men who are gay and with black women are usually dl. A black woman would have tried to have kids. This man had no intentions of marrying her or any woman. He used her while he was in the NBA. Right now he’s a free agent so it’s not the same as if he was playing. So yes, he chose a white girl for that reason.

        • I can never understand which end of bullsh*t you black women haters are going use here. Either we don’t stick by our man where as a white woman will. Or we are so desperate for a man that we will blindly stay with him even if he’s a homo. Would you guys please pick a narrative for how terrible we are and stick with one? Don’t you guys have frequent club meetings? Please put this point of contention on the agenda so you guys can vote and establish some consistency here. Thanks

          • Latrece Hoskins


      • Yeah for real though. 7 years?

    • Latrece Hoskins

      how about HE knew that he was gay by the age of eleven. why did HE deceive this woman? here’s the reason: he’s a coward. he used another human being for his own gains.