Confessions Of A Gay Man Not About That Life: Why I Stopped Dating Married Men

May 16, 2013  |  

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From YourTango


By Rick Clemons

Now, I can laugh at this thought. Still, just a little over twelve years ago, I would have said the same thing, “I’m not gay, I just like having sex with men!” Ahem, excuse me that sounds a little homosexual to me. Granted, if you’re a male, having sex with a male, you could be bi-sexual, so just admit it and move on. Yet, I didn’t fit that mold twelve years ago, either. I was caught in a dysfunctional sexual limbo that made no sense.

Of course, now things have changed, and it all makes sense…I’m a happy homosexual. I’ve joined the ranks of “Happily Divorced,” and am no longer messing around with other married men, disengaging from the experience, and pretending to be something I’m not. However, contrary to popular belief there are more from whence I came…married men, looking for married men!

Shocking as it may seem to some of you, this phenomena is not new, nor a dwindling fad. Of course I have no cold hard facts to prove this statement, and I don’t need them. All I need is a computer, an Internet connection, and an hour of free time. With those three things at my disposal I can find numerous sites where married men for married men lurk. I can also join online groups where these guys exchange their stories, get support for their dual lives, and of course also find the occasional hook-up. And, then there’s online chat rooms, gay male hook-up sites, gay male apps, that also work for men who are married and just having sex with men, even though their not gay. After all why not fish where your most likely to hook one, especially when you can do it inconito!


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  • Tehani

    This is a site for women, so why is this article posted here?

    • TooGee

      It’s been said that there are no dumb questions, but this one right here… Maybe they’re posting it on a site for women because there are hundreds of women who are married to undercover brothers and don’t know it. I’ve gone on sites for black married DL men and see the ads they post – “wife takes zumba every tuesday, come to my place” or “married AA male seeking domination”. INFORMATION – that’s why.

      • Tehani

        What does a gay man sleeping with married men have to do with women?

        • Kenedy

          Who are those married men married to?

  • Kenedy

    This down-low bull shizz needs to stop! If you’re gay, just be gay.

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  • Disgusting. No problem with gays. The down-low’s need to be shot. Inexcusable.

  • Moni

    Okay, and this is why when y’all catchs HIV from being sneaky no one cares about you if you don’t aready have the virus. I would rip HIV and AIDS education out the government because y’all don’t care. You hurt other people just to getting alittle tingling southward. Also you could easily get killed because when you are messing with someones emotion they care less about you life. I mean if I was your ex wife honey I’d be happily in prison for life, not because I’m that type of person I would just snap. You should be happy you are breathing.

    • Moni

      Not my unlce got killed by a womans husband, for destroying his marriage.. It can happen to you boo and dont think it won’t.