A Presence From Your Past: Could You Take A Former Friend You Had A Falling Out With Back In Your Circle Years Later?
This friend of mine, make that a former friend, we had been cool since junior high. We were part of a clique of close friends, going to homecoming together in similar colors, kicking it post-prom, hitting up each person’s college graduation parties, crying together through each other person’s sorrows, celebrating each person’s come-ups. But post-college, life got a little too real for everybody, and the stress of life caused this friend to be come very anti-social. She fell out with one of the other members of our clique, and all of a sudden there was all of this pressure on me to maintain friendships with both parties, even though they acted as if the other couldn’t be trusted. After feeling too much pressure from said friend, who seemed more bitter and hurt than the other, I told her how I felt (since their problems had nothing to do with me and I didn’t want to be in the middle), and she didn’t like what I had to say. That was the last real conversation we’ve had in years.
I actually loved this friend very much, so to fall out with her was almost like a bad break up with an ex. No crying, but the confusion and hole left in my life could have warranted a few tears. We had shared many special moments together and I looked at her more like a sister than a friend, so when she decided she didn’t want to be bothered with any person in our clique, including moi, and moved on with her life, I was pretty hurt. And mad angry.
I haven’t received such a call, and if I did, I think I would be there if she needed me, but honestly, I would try and keep her at an arms length. Consistent friends who don’t let things fester are a precious thing, but friends who ditch you when they don’t get their way and then come back around are…many things in my opinion, but let’s just sum it up by saying they’re more of a liability. Besides, years have gone by! We’re practically different people in different places in our lives. And for that reason alone, it might be time to move on and keep looking forward…
But if you’ve ever fallen out with a friend and they came back around and wanted to be cool again, could you trust them enough to take them back in your circle?