Ask A Very Smart Brotha: He’s Done WIth HIs Fiancee Should I Give Him A Chance?

May 8, 2013  |  
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Teshia:
What do you do if you really like someone and they claim to like you but they stood you up twice..?

DY: Get the hint, and be on to the next one.

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Ericka: How do you know when your man is cheating on you?

DY: When you catch him in the act of cheating. Other than that, there are no surefire tells. Anything could conceivably be explained away as something other than cheating. But, if you suspect that he’s cheating, you don’t trust him. And if you don’t trust him, regardless if he’s cheating or not, you don’t need to be with him. Yea, when there’s smoke there’s usually fire. But, sometimes the smoke is all that you need to see to know to get out .

Karmen: How come some men will disrespect the one they’re with. Yet, when things go wrong after their gone, they find ways to come back? I love him but I don’t want that be used as a convenience to him. I don’t want my kindness to be manipulated as blindness.

DY: You just answered your own question. If you allow him back after treating you badly, what incentive does he have to change his behavior?

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Day: Are men only inconsistent when they are not feeling a woman or is it a common behavior among males in general?

DY: When men are inconsistent, it’s usually a sign that he’s just not that into you.

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Arielle: How many relationships have you been in? And are you single?

DY: Four. And, no.

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Mizzaries: Once the trust is gone how do you gain it back?

DY: There’s no quick and easy solution for that. You just have to do it. It’s that simple. If you can’t do it, then you shouldn’t be together.

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Kelle: How long should you take to assess proof of change in the character of your other half?

DY: I don’t believe in arbitrary time limits for things like that. I do believe, though, that (some) women spent too much time with one guy, waiting for a change that’ll never happen, instead of just being single and trying to find someone more compatible.

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Carmen:  What’s the sure sign a man loves you without verbalizing it?

DY: The best tell in my opinion is time. If a man is doing everything he can to spend more time around you, to be around you in some way, it’s very likely that he’s completely into you.

 

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DVM: What is with men who buy you a drink at a nice lounge/bar ask for your number but then don’t follow through and call? Is it as simple as they just aren’t that into you? What’s the point of asking then?

DY: Sometimes you might be the 5th or 6th of 20 numbers received in a night. And yes, if there’s no call, it’s usually because he thought about it later and figured it wasn’t worth the effort. Don’t feel too bad about that, though. It happens to everyone (men and women).

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Roxanna: When should a woman let go of her other “potentials” and focus on the main person who she is interested in? Even though you may not be to the point of exclusivity with a person, I get the feeling that guys get jealous when they find out that they’re not the only one vying for your attention.

DY: That’s a good question. I’d keep dating until I was sure that interest was reciprocated.

Alana: What’s the best way to handle his ex? He cheated on me a long time ago with her & now more than 6 yrs has passed since then but she is occasionally calling/texting him because the share 2 kids ages 18 & 19. The calls are about her missing him & she uses her kids as bait. We’ve been together 8 yrs now and are happy, but she stirs up trouble whenever she’s bored or sees us out. I want to beat her Down, but I’m Trying to be the bigger person & it’s not working! Help!!

DY: The problem isn’t her. It’s him. You need to let him know that he needs to limit their interaction or else you’re going to leave.


Rachell:
How should I handle this situation: Met a man; we ended up liking each other; casually dated on & off for a year (because we both were in & out of town); he gave me a key to his home; never had sex -my decision; found out that he had a fiancee; I didn’t talk for 2 years after that; now he wants me to forgive him for withholding it; said he didn’t know who he wanted til I left him. He caters to me but is it game or should I give him a chance?

DY: Sounds like last week’s episode of Scandal. I think you know the answer to your question already

Rachell: I need more than that. Re: Scandal, Fitz loves Olivia, albeit married. My friend dumped his fiancee. Oops, i left that out. So he wants to start over with me. Whatcha think?

DY: I think you should stay single for a while. Don’t cut him off, but don’t commit to anything either. Basically, feel him out to see how sincere he is

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