Make It Hot! Fun Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life

May 24, 2013  |  
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If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, chances are the spark may have dimmed, or even disappeared, from your love/sex life. Sure, you may still do the do, but the fireworks aren’t poppin’ like they used to. Even if you think there’s nothing wrong with your relationship and that your man isn’t going nowhere, that’s no reason to get complacent between the sheets. You may be the best lover he’s ever had, and while you think you’ve got it going on, there’s always room for improvement. If you’re in a bit of a rut, or want to bring some life back to the bedroom, here are 14 things to try to get that fire burning again.

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1. Go To A Strip Club Together

Some women have absolutely ZERO interest in going to a strip club, especially if the only people who are nude are women and you’re a straight woman who isn’t attracted to unclothed ladies. While the thought of another woman putting her boobies in my face doesn’t arouse me one bit, your man might be totally turned on by it. Now if you’re comfortable watching other women take their clothes off, and you’re not comfortable with your man checking out other nude women, then by all means, stay away. But if you’re secure enough in yourself and your relationship, then go have some fun and watch your man get excited as you get a lap dance from a hot chick. He’ll be leaving with you and you will reap the benefits!

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2. Strip at Home

So the thought of other women removing their clothes and grinding up on your man (or you) does nothing for you – no problem. Take off YOUR clothes and grind up on your man yourself. Get some music going, come up with a sultry routine, sit him down, and give him your own personal lap dance. Hell, some women have even gone so far as to take pole dancing lessons and erect a real life strip pole in their bedroom. It’s great exercise, so don’t knock it — and your man will be forever grateful that you took the time to master a seductive skill just for him.

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3. Role Play

After you’ve been together for a while, it’s easy to take your partner for granted, so why not take it back to the beginning and pretend like you just met. The “newness” of a budding relationship is always exciting, so make plans to meet up at some swank bar and then approach him as if he were a hot stranger you spotted from across the room and push up on him. Sound corny? Okay, well then try dressing up in a costume and role play that way. You can be the pretty police officer looking to cuff him or the naughty nurse taking his temperature while getting him hot at the same time. Whatever it is, have fun and be creative with it…and do it often so that he wonders which of your hot personalities he’ll be lucky enough to meet next.

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4. Act Out Each Other’s Fantasies

Usually the best lovers are the ones who are willing to explore and try new things. If you or your man have a fantasy that you have yet to act on, then there’s no time like the present. Now, if his fantasy involves something that you find demeaning or degrading, then by all means stick to your guns and don’t do it. But if it’s something that intrigues you even slightly, then go for it! And if you’ve been keeping your fantasies to yourself for fear of rejection or him thinking you’re a freak, you might be pleasantly surprised at his reaction if you divulge your deepest desires. If he’s your man, there should be nothing you two can’t try or talk to each other about. If you have a loving, trusting relationship, then you both should feel safe to make each other’s fantasies a reality.

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5. Try New Positions

Perhaps one of your fantasies is something simple, like trying a new position. It doesn’t have to involve costumes, stripping, role playing or anything else elaborate. A reverse cowgirl might be all you need to get your juices flowing. There are plenty of positions to try and there are even books that list them and instruct you on how you can execute them. You might want to stretch first, because some of them require some flexibility – but even if you fall off the bed while being twisted like a pretzel, you’ll be able to laugh at yourselves and have fun…which can get you hot in itself.

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6. Try New Places

Sex doesn’t just have to take place in your bedroom or on the bed. Try having sex in another room of your house, or his house if you live separately – and “christen” every room. If you’re feeling extra adventurous, try having sex outside in your yard or your balcony, or in a public place like a park, a movie theater, the roof of your building or your desk at work (just remember to lock your office door!) Sure, you may get caught, but that adds to the thrill of the act itself. But if having sex in public is too risky for you, why not book a room at that fancy, new boutique hotel you’ve heard so much about? Any place other than your “normal” place may just be all the excitement you need.

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7. Initiate Sex

Nothing is sexier to a man than a woman who takes charge in the bedroom. If you’re shy or timid now is the time to break out of your shell and shock him by dominating him. While most men are the aggressors in the bedroom, giving up their power and control turns them on because most men spend their entire day controlling things and being in charge. When a woman is confident and bold sexually, it makes a man feel wanted and desired. Besides, it gives him an excuse to be lazy, lay back and relax and let you do all the work for a change.

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8. Watch Adult Videos Together

Since men are visual creatures, what better way to get him excited than by watching adult videos together? Most likely he has his own stash or a favorite site he visits when you’re not around, so tell him to show it to you so you can enjoy it together. Some men feel like pervs for watching and liking adult videos, so they keep it hidden as not to “offend” their wives or girlfriends. Let him know that you want to watch with him and show him that you’re turned on by videos too. You could learn a thing or two or discover something that you both want to try – and chances are you’ll both get so worked up that you won’t finish watching the video….because you’ll be busy making one of your own.

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9. Record It

Speaking of your own video, you may be a little leery about pulling a Kim K., but making a sex tape can be fun and exciting – and watching the playback may get you riled up again for round two! This is something you should do with someone you love and trust, otherwise your video could end up on YouTube if you two call it quits so be careful! And if you’re still a little skeptical, you can insist that it be done using your camera and that the video be deleted as soon as you’re both done watching it.

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10. Give Him a Massage With a “Happy Ending”

Sometimes simply putting your hands on your man’s body is all he needs to get aroused…so why not warm him up first with a sensual massage? Dim the lights, light some candles, take a shower together and then oil him down on some cool, fresh sheets…and see how quickly he’ll want to flip over and grab you. If you really want to get him, give him a “happy ending” to his perfect massage and he’ll never let you go. Just be sure not to massage him so well that he falls asleep!

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11. Sext Him

If he’s out with his boys, that is the perfect time to send him a dirty text message detailing all the nasty things you’ll do to him once he gets home. Hell, he may even cut his night out with the fellas short! Is he in a long, boring meeting? Send a flirty flick to his phone and his eyes will light right up! All he’ll be able to focus on is the hot woman waiting for him at home, so be ready to greet him when he walks through the door…or you walk through his.

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12. Talk Dirty

If you’re not much of a dirty talker in bed, this may be a bit uncomfortable for you, but men love it when you express to him verbally that he’s pleasing you. If you’re unsure of what to say or you just find yourself lacking the words to turn him on, keep it simple and just say things like “yes,” “right there,” “that feels so gooood,” etc. If even that makes you feel strange, simply make some noise. Moan, grunt, whisper sweet nothings – just whatever you do, don’t just lie there quiet. He may think you’re not as into it as he is, that he’s not pleasing you…or that you’re dead. Nobody desires a dead fish.

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13. Have Phone Sex

Now, if dirty talk is not a problem for you, then set the mood early before you get unclothed and give him a call and have phone sex first. Plan a sex talk session, then draw yourself a nice bath, light some candles and pick up the phone. If you feel relaxed and sensual, then it’ll be easier to sound sensual. Be descriptive and creative – tell him what you’re wearing (even if you have on flannel pj’s and a head scarf), and use words like “hot, throbbing and aching” to describe certain body parts. Ask him what he wants you to do or say, and make him answer you. Speak clearly and seductively and use naughty words (not vulgar…unless you’re into that sort of thing). Pay attention to how he responds and keep going. As long as you’re comfortable with it, have fun and get him all worked up so that when he actually sees you, it’ll be on and poppin’!

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14. Use Toys

Some men are a little “intimidated” by their woman’s toy collection – assuming she has one. But if he’s up for it, introduce him to “B.O.B” – your favorite battery operated boyfriend – and show him how to please you with it. Incorporating toys and other props and gadgets into your sex life is the perfect thing to add spice and variety, so go toy shopping together every few months to keep the fire going. Sure, toys can be fun…and necessary…when he’s not around, just make sure he knows they can’t replace the weight of a man. There’s nothing for him to be intimidated by, and the more things in the bed (not a threesome…again, unless you’re into that), the merrier!

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  • Rebecca Joseph

    Another fantastic and sizzling hot way to spice up your sex life and to keep him interested is to do something for him that no woman has done before and that might be to give him oral sex. Try pleasing him orally as a change up from sex. Not a lot of women are comfortable with the idea of it, so doing it will show him that you are not that kind of woman and that you want to please him and that you are actively trying to do so.

    • tippingthescale

      I don’t know what kind of women you have been hanging out with, but this is one of my daily s*x moves. It keeps your man in a good mood. I think that most women are uncomfortable with it, because they haven’t taken the time to master it, and enjoy it for what it’s worth.