Haterology 101: What You Should Know About Haters

November 21st, 2010 - By Boyce Watkins Ph.D.

Haterology 101: What You should Know about Haters
For the big dreamers out there, I thought I would create a how-to guide on understanding the haters in your life.  We all have haters, no matter what we do.  I’ve had a few haters in academia who are upset that my work gets more attention than theirs, or even some friends who liked me better when I didn’t have very much self-esteem.  As your success grows, jealous people don’t die, they multiply and the hustler’s dream can become the hater’s nightmare.  So, here are a few things I’ve figured out about haters, and hopefully they can be helpful to you:

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  • ytexx

    This is so lame look I'm a hater lol I can't spell make fun of me hater someone would correct me if your not a hater instead u laugh and hate

  • ytexx

    This is so lame look I'm a water lol

  • Angeleye

    I'm so late but I just ran across this post and it is awesome. Thank you for all the points made. This will remain a good reference along w/ some of the comments posted.

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  • Blkqwn7

    @Mocha, tell me about it and that is what I have chosen to do. Thanks.

  • http://www.patricerenee1.wordpress.com patrice Renee

    So True! the crazy part is some haters can't control themselves period. But thats an inner flaw…I use to wonder why certain people didn't like me but don't care now.

    And they part about friends is so true…I had a so-called friend dipped in Louie, Prada, pushing a BMW but I realize she was jealous cause I had kids and a stable relationship with their father…I realized who she was in the end and she got the AX…in the end they always reveal themselves

  • jen

    Even Jesus had haters and the only way to deal with all the hate around us is by praying reading the bible and just listening and meditating about God's words no one is perfect haters or non haters

  • Ruby

    Loved it!

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  • mocha

    @Blkqwn7 There is a scripture in the Bible that tells us to come out from among certain folks. And sometimes that includes family!!! I just want to say I love the article. And yes haters are a positive. Because they help to keep us closer to God. And they help to keep us praying.

  • http://afrolistasandthecity.blogspot.com Von

    Great article!

    Love it!

    I'm emailing it to everyone that I know. The opposite of success is resentment.

  • kno kno

    why can't i like this on facebook?

    this was a good one!!! I needed to read this a long time ago!

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  • NB

    Really liked this article. But at what point do we differentiate between hating and constructive criticism? Sometimes one can be thinly veiled as the other, or one can be taken as the other.

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  • Aya

    Love this article! I can't live a life without progress, ambition and completion has always been a priority for me. All the while I always wondered why so called "friends" can never be happy for achievements that I've worked so hard & sacrificed for, it happens to the best of us.

  • n_satiable

    It seems like people who claim to have so many "haters" (a word I wish folks would retire) have an overinflated sense of their place in the universe. Too often, they spend much more time worrying about who is thinking about THEM. As my grandma always said, "Ain't nobody stuttin' 'bout them."

    Also, when a person moves up at least one step in life (career-wise, getting engaged/married, etc.) they have a sense that someone else is jealous of them. Maybe people just hate your bi$%hy attitude; they're not necessarily jealous or "hating".

    LMBO @ tip #2: " If you don’t have any haters, then you’re not doing something right." That's stupid on so many levels.

    Tip #4: "Acknowledging haters only makes them stronger." Um, isn't this WHOLE article doing that?

    Tip #5: "Haters are a test to see if you deserve your success." Absolutely not. The work I've done — and continue to do — is the ultimate measure of how much I deserve my success.

    Tip #9: "Never let haters distract you or waste your time." Doesn't this contradict #7 (forgiving your haters)? Don't you have to take the TIME to do this?

    So if I think this article was straight garbage, does that make me a "hater"? Guess you better start forgiving me, then….

  • Blkqwn7

    Ms. Boyce, I really appreciate you for this information. I agree that haters are attracted to a positive person's like insects to a night light. I agree you are not suppose to give them your energy.

    However, I can deal with sleeping with the enemy. I know all too well about this. I can deal with the frenemy, but what if the haters are your own family members??? What then??

    Once I held a position with a local media and it is standard protocol to announce a writer over a column to the community, at least in this particular city (unamed) it is. I tried getting out of it knowing I was going to have problems with my own family members. My mother and sisters namely. Sure enough once my mother found out that I was employed with the local paper. She lead the way to me being fired by going to my sisters for them to do her dirty bidding. I lost the job. They knew I had only just started and they began submitting things to my column and then making erroneous complaints. Once they got a hold of my superiors on the phone they really showed their selves to be true haters and ugly. They told my superiors things they should never thought of telling them and I was fired!

    I am no longer a part of that family. I wasn't when they pulled their stunt of contacting my previous employer. However, they continue to interject their selves into my life. I have ignored them, forgiven them and all the things and more that you discuss, but they keep coming at me.

  • Kay

    So very true! Especially the part about keeping friends closer!