Ever been at your desk and hear something so wildly inappropriate, it makes you sit up and look around to see if you’re still at work?
Don’t be the person who elicits that reaction. If you are discussing ANY of the following on your desk or mobile phone, near the water cooler with colleagues, or in front of your boss, just stop and walk away. Immediately.
How drunk you were last night/this past weekend/ever
Seriously….do your colleagues really need to know about the many Mimosas you had for brunch Sunday morning and Roasted Toasted Almonds you had for dinner Saturday night? Try leaving the dance floor twerkin’ details and one night stand conversations outside of the office. Don’t even think about using your work email to divulge any salacious tidbits to your best girlfriend or guy friend on the 4th floor. There’s a way of tracking those, you know.
Your baby mama drama/deadbeat dad gripes
Must I go into detail?
Any reality TV program where fists fly and morals have gone out the window
It’s not a crime to talk about TV at work, as this is practically tradition among Americans who hold any job imaginable. But, there’s a time and a place to rehash the latest episode of Love & Hip-Hop Atlanta, and that’s certainly not as loud as you can in the doorway of a high-powered executive business meeting that’s set to commence in T-minus two minutes.
That time of the month…
If your favorite Aunt Flo has come to pay you a visit, handle your business with care and tact. Both men and women past the age of puberty are well aware about the perils of menstruation. But, no one needs to be reminded of it every cycle, every month. Still to this day, I’ve seen men get that queasy look in their eyes at the mere indication, so please use a spot of common sense. Not everyone is as comfortable talking about Aunt Flo as you may be, particularly at work!
Your recreational drug use
Do you want to keep your job? If you’re not a Hollywood celebrity, fuhgeddaboudit.
You realize that Suzy down the hall received a promotion and a $5,000 bonus after only working with the company for two years! Some young whippersnapper has jumped in and got a raise while you’re still making the same money? You’re going to tell everyone about this injustice, right? Don’t.
How you can’t wait to quit your job and go for your dreams
You have every right to plan ahead for your future. Our millennial generation is the first generation known for an incessant need to ‘job hop.’ But if you, my dear friend, continue to boast about all of the interviews you’ve recently gone to and how you can’t wait to leave your current job for a better one, you’re going to find a nice letter of termination in your email inbox. Word travels!
Your plans to “kill” someone or how much you want to see someone “die”
Even if spoken in a jovial manner, you never want to assume that people think you’re joking. Some folks cannot sense sarcasm to save their life. So, save yours and abstain from saying the words/phrases “kill,” “I’m going to kill her/him,” “Sometimes I just feel like blowing this place up,” or “I was curious and went online last night to know how to make a bomb.” Not having a criminal record is nice.