You Ain’t Going Nowhere! Crazy Ways Celebrities Keep Their Boo Thangs on Lock

May 28, 2013  |  
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Dating in Hollywood is hard ya’ll, and sometimes celebrity women have to go that extra mile to keep a good man at home. While the rest of us are wasting time cooking, cleaning and breaking him off, these chicks are handing out checks, razor blades and free all access passes to all the groupies their men can stand. Here are some of the most drastic ways the rich and famous are rumored to have tried to keep their boos from straying.

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Pay His Way

Britney must be getting her dating tips from Love and Hip Hop. She keeps her side pieces in line with a pay check. She hired her new man David Lucado to be her personal assistant. A friend of the couple told Star magazine, “She’ll offer him a sweet deal so he’ll feel obligated to stick around.”

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Show some skin

Eva Mendes uses her unclothed curves to keep Ryan Gosling at home and away from thirsty groupies. A friend of the couple told Star magazine that she stays unclothed at the crib — and sometimes surprise guests get a peek at the goods when she’s on her way to cover up.

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An Open Marriage

Apparently Jada Pinkett lets Will lay down anywhere he wants as long as he comes home to her and the children afterwards. Rumors of their open relationship have been circulating for a while. Jada finally confirmed them in an interview on HuffPost live.

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Dropping the Side Piece

Chris Brown makes the list because we never thought we’d see the day when he dropped a side pieces to stay faithful to his girl.

But that’s what happened. Chris and Teyana Taylor messed around when he and Rihanna were broken up. But according to AllHipHop, Chris shut Teyana down when she wanted another piece:

“The rumor suggests that TT all but gave up the chocha to Chris Breezy Brown and he said NAW…Seems like after turning her down, Brown and his people who were there too were pretty saddened. They were so sad that they left her alone and cancelled the room they were staying in. This caused for TT not to have any place to lay her now unclothed body. Security had to escort her out of the room, by putting a sheet around her…Anyway…they are no longer friends.”
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Holding Their Babies Hostage

Rumor has it that Blake Lively keeps her husband Ryan Reynolds in check by refusing to start a family until he acts right. A friend of the couple recently shared an example of her tactics with Star magazine:

“He watches 50 hours [of TV] a week. They are not going to have kids until he kicks his habit.”

*whip sounds*

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Coexist with Side Pieces

At least Jada makes Will keep his side pieces under the radar. Joseline takes her struggle to a whole other level by dealing with side pieces in her face to keep Stevie J on lock. Is this how brothers are rating women now? The chick that puts up with the most mess gets to be down? Or should we be calling Mimi out since she was there first?

Take Money for an Abortion

Royce White’s girl was willing to get an abortion — or at least pretend to — to keep her man. She recently told Full Court Pumps that Royce white gave her $20,000 to go to the clinic:

“My problem is the Mother F***er had the audacity to try to pay me to get an abortion. I went along with it. And what I did was keep the money, all $20,000. And I’m keeping the child. And my message to royce: No abortion was conducted this morning. Thank u for providing funds so I can get started on my nursery.”

Royce says it ain’t true.
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Compete with His Mama

Big Sean is a big mama’s boy. He stays in the mix with ma dukes and even takes her on the red carpet. Now that Naya is dating Sean, she’s got to compete with the first love of his life. Looks like she’s doing good so far. She’s the only thing we’ve seen on his arm lately.

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Ignore His Past

Lindsey Vonn is either a special kind of stupid or the most understanding woman in the world if she’s ready to turn a blind eye to Tiger Woods’ shady dating history. She even looks kinda like the last woman he cheated on. She better get out now before she finds herself on the news chasing his SUV with a golf club.

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Have an Open Relationship

Will and Jada may not be the only smiths in an open relationship. The photos of Jaden Smith and Kylie Jenner suggest that the two are dating and have been for a while. But Jaden went on record saying the two were “just friends” and we wonder if that’s code for “there’s another piece on the side”. He was just seen with Selena Gomez last weekend.

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Tolerate Drug Abuse

Glee stars Lea Michele and Cory Monteith have been dating since April of last year and Cory’s been getting high since he was 19. Apparently that was cool with Lea Michele because as far as his drug of choice goes, he said it’s “Anything and everything, as much as possible.” That’s deep.

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Share Her with Another Man

Looks like Kristen Stewart got caught with Rupert Sanders again. The Paparazzi caught them in a car together last week. And if we’ve heard, Robert Pattison has heard — and he doesn’t seem to mind. There’s no sign that he’s going to dump the co-star he shares with his former director.

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Get Drunk with a Drunk

Reese Witherspoon’s husband Jim Toth has been known around the industry for knocking one or two back and Reese has tolerated his drinking for years. Recently, she decided to join him on one of his benders. He got arrested for a DUI and she got caught on camera talking ish to a cop:

“Do you know my name? You’re about to find out who I am. You’re about to be on national news.”

The cop arrested her right after. And she was the one on national news.

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Put Up with His Wife

Chelsie Bellisle is getting her 15 minutes for outing her relationship with her baby daddy — NFL baller Jermichael Finley — to his wife. But isn’t she the dumb one for sleeping with him while some other woman actually has a ring?

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