Don’t Be Ashamed! Embarrassing Things That Happen To Everyone In Bed

April 23, 2013  |  
1 of 15

Source: Shutterstock

As suave as you and your partner(s) surely are, everybody’s been subject to some mood-ruining moments in the bedroom. Just know that you’re not alone.

Shutterstock

A little indigestion

The acrobatic lovers are especially prone to this. With a lot of bouncing around, rolling around and being upside down, things, well, move around — and often the body’s way of dealing with pressure or turbulence is releasing gas. Hopefully if you’re loud enough in bed, nobody will notice.

Shutterstock

Missed a day shaving

You absolutely were not planning on having sex tonight but life had other things in mind for you. And now your partner (or…a new guy! Yikes!) is subject to a forest. If it’s a new guy, just tell him you missed a few days grooming so he knows you aren’t always like that.

Shutterstock

Failure to launch

He can’t get it up, or you fail to become lubricated. Either way, you’re both totally into it…but your bodies aren’t. If the problem is on your end, keep lubricant around. If it’s on his, try briefly to help him in other ways. But if he simply can’t get an erection this time around, a drawn out attempt will only make him feel more embarrassed.

shutterstock.com

Throwing up

Alcohol is often involved when sex happens. Even worse, sometimes a night all about indulgences happened with pre-dinner wine, cocktails at the restaurant, heavy food and dessert. And while the high from breaking your diet got you both hot and heavy, cardio isn’t the greatest activity on a full stomach. Try to keep positions simple, or keep a trash can near by…

Shutterstock

Passing out

We’ve all been there, so drunk or just so tired that we are delusional. We feel at once very turned on, but at once like we could pass out if given the chance. And then our partner makes a quick run to the bathroom and….game over. We’re passed out, drooling, lacey bra half undone.

shutterstock.com

Screaming the wrong name

This does not necessarily mean you still yearn for the person who’s named you belted out. But it will still certainly ruin the mood, and you better have a story (real or made up) as to why that individual was on your mind that day.

Shutterstock

Dropping the “L bomb”

Saying, “I love you” in the middle of passionate lovemaking can be the greatest thing if the feeling is mutual, or it can stop everything dead in its tracks. If a man does not love you in return and you drop the L bomb mid-sex, he’ll usually be forced to stop. Continuing would only give you the wrong impression.

Shutterstock

 

A Sex-jury

This is a sex injury. In the midst of passion, sometimes the good feelings happening in our body can outweigh the bad ones. Until we try a different position and realize our neck is frozen stiff or our back has been thrown out.

shutterstock

Getting caught grooming

Grooming is not an attractive act. Legs spread, foot up on the counter—however you do it, the process of becoming attractive usually isn’t attractive. But since grooming often takes place in the shower, and men often have the smart idea of surprising you and getting in there with you, you’re bound to be caught one of these days.

shutterstock.com

 

Giving an unintentional show

One of these days, you’re going to forget somebody was coming over—or someone is going to pay you a surprise visit—you won’t hear the doorbell either because you’re screaming in fits of ecstasy, or because they just let themselves in, and somebody will get a lot of skin in their face.

Shutterstock

Bad sex followed by bad timing

You attempt a nice quicky before one or both of you have to run off somewhere, one of you fails to perform, and you can’t even wrap up with some cuddling or consoling words. You just have to cold-heartedly (and cold bodied) walk off.

Shutterstock

The “time of the month” comes at a bad time

By a certain age, men shouldn’t be so traumatized by this happening to their partners. But, it will to some extent always be embarrassing for us. It’s a complete mental switch: our lady part goes in an instant from being an object of pleasure, to an object of reproduction. And nobody wants to think about that mid-sex.

Istock

Pungent down under

You think a romp will be hot when you’re both sweaty after a jog, but sweat remains stagnant in some parts of our bodies. And since those particular parts already have their own odd odors, a post-workout roll in the sheets can lead to both of you coming up early plugging your noses.

Shutterstock

Your fantasy denied

You suggest something kinky, right as you’re both into the moment, and your partner rejects it, often pretending he is suddenly sleepy. You feel like a freak, and he feels embarrassed that he wasn’t game.

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
blog comments powered by Disqus