Is He The One? Traits That Make A Man Husband Material

26 comments
April 23, 2013 ‐ By Ashley Page
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What makes a good husband? While the answer isn’t going to be identical for everyone, there are definitely some traits that you’ll want to find in the man that you ultimately married. Though your husband may not be the cookie-cutter man, some traits are a must-have when it comes time to dedicate yourself to one single man, here are 14 of those non-negotiables.

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  • Bumbling Black Man

    This slideshow is just another drawn out way of saying “go with a ‘nice guy’.” With the exception of some confidence, most genuinely nice guys (that I know of) possess all of these “desirable” qualities, or at least willing to acquire them, but time after time, they’re deemed “too nice” or “too soft” or “boring/lame” by our lovely sistas.

    I’ve run into guys that would send a woman flowers, call to check on her/tell her she was beautiful regularly, took her to nice places, listened to/cared about her problems, was faithful to her, was rising through his goals/career, AND sometimes even tried to be good to the woman’s child, and the woman is STILL like “Naa, I need a real man…”, and runs back to that disrespectful n*gga on the street corner with no ambition. Why SOME good women chase these rejects is probably the same reason SOME nice guys pursue women that don’t deserve their love; one of the world’s mysteries I guess. Today’s relationships/marriages are a mess (especially within our black community), but we have to keep the faith that we’ll do better… someday….

    • ksmall

      you’re totally right. tho i’m married, most of my girls aren’t. and i hear them saying dumb stuff about guys that seem like good dudes like “he’s too short.” or “he’s not that cute.” but he’s sending them flowers to the office trying to get a lunch date. and the dude that is triflin is the one they keep giving 5th and 6th chances to. it baffles me as well, and i started callin them out about it so they sound SO stupid, and shallow, and lame saying that they won’t go out with a guy b/c of something superficial when the man is clearly the type of guy many women dream of having for themselves, but don’t know how to act when they meet him.

      • i_stan_4_no_one

        i see what you’re saying, but if the guy didn’t think you’re friend was that cute he probably wouldn’t be sending her the flowers. heck in my experience, men won’t even approach unless they are physically attracted to me. they don’t think, “hmmm she’s not that cute, but I’ll giver her a chance” NO. if he doesn’t like what you look like he’s for the most part not going to give you a chance.

        i’m not saying that it justifies your friend’s behavior but i think when men are shallow it should be called out as well. instead its just accepted that men are visual creatures so of course they will usually judge and initiate based on looks while women should look past looks. its a double standard.

        • ksmall

          i hear u, but the guy was average not ugly. and had a lot going for him. i felt like should’ve at least gone to lunch or dinner with the man. he may have had a lot more to offer than she realized but she wouldn’t find out. if she’d gone out once and still wasn’t feelin him then i wouldn’t say she should force herself to spend time with him but at least give him a chance. and as for men and women being about the physical, i’m not mad at folks on either end for wanting someone they find physically attractive. the problem becomes when u start overlooking other important qualities solely b/c ur placing too much importance on the physical. Men get caught up the same way women do in that regard, and it doesn’t pay off. case and point, my girl is STILL single, lonely, and wishing she had a man and a family, and i can think of at least a couple of potentially good dudes that she wrote off on some shallow stuff and never got to know them. i’m sure a least one of them made some other woman happy.

    • Adrina

      Agreed. I know women like this and have the audacity to complain about his behavior. The same for men. I’m all about the nice guy because years from now, I can say that he was actually a man who took care of his family and did what GOD expected of him, not just me.

  • Akiko

    This list is based on a bunch of stereotypes and socialized behaviors.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elle-Bee/100001726271675 Elle Bee

    um what about #17: a mean d*ck game. A man who knows your body. not trying to be a perv, but it’s true. If Im’a marry a dude he better know how to put it down. IJS. Madame, ur sleeping lol

    • ksmall

      lack of “#17″ is why a lot of marriages are “unhappy.” lol. if folks acknowledged that a little more the percentage of successfully married couples might be a lot higher!

      • pretty1908

        you can show someone how to pleasure you..it isn’t hard if you truly care for him and want to spend the rest of your life with him…im just saying

        • ksmall

          you should certainly try to show him if he doesn’t already get it, but everyone isn’t a good learner, and everyone doesn’t have the right “equipment” to start with (lol). there is also the little issue of chemistry. you can enjoy dating/spending time with someone and not have strong sexual chemistry, and that isn’t something you can teach or manufacture. i think all too often ppl, esp women, look for the safe qualities in a man and put those above their own need to feel something that goes a step further. is good sex more important that any of these other qualities listed? of course not, but it is more important than a lot of folks give credit. u can love and want to spend the rest of your life with someone, but if you can’t get that part in the bedroom right it’s only a matter of time before things fall apart.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elle-Bee/100001726271675 Elle Bee

            omg you just explained that better than I ever could in life lol

          • am

            I think you are so right. Sex is important I recently reconnected with this man I dated 17 years ago and we still have that same sexual chemistry that we had years ago the same chemistry that caused me to run from him. Although we did not have a sexual relationship then I wouldn’t give in to him because I was young and I knew he would be too much for me. But now that we have reconnected it has been on every since then and he really is all that I have ever wanted. Yes the sex is off the hook like I knew it would be and I was ready this time. LOL!

            • ksmall

              it must be real if it’s been 17 years and it’s still there girl! hahaha.

    • Nope

      “A man who knows your body.”

      Most women don’t even know their own bodies very well. Hell, most women are wearing the wrong damn bra size and that seems pretty basic to me.

      • Ladybug94

        LOL.. I usually don’t agree with you but that was a good one and true.lol

  • oh ok…

    My man is all of these except for one…
    Im thankful he at least is trying to be a better man for our relationship :)

  • blackwomenwhitemendatingcom

    A lovely blog.

    http://blackwomenwhitemendating1989.blogspot.c0m/

    Lol…..poor she

  • KourageousTigerII’s

    Great information!

  • TRUTH IS

    Great list

  • Abbas Abbakar

    I am married (happily married) but I don’t have all the traits listed in this article!

    • TRUTH IS

      Lol…..poor she

    • oh ok…

      I think as long as you’re trying to be a good husband and man in general then…great.
      And vice versa…

      • Akiko

        “I think as long as you are being a good person and husband, then that should do” sounds a lot better.

        I don’t understand this whole thing of labeling people as either a ‘good woman’ or ‘good man’.

    • ksmall

      i don’t think they’re saying u need to have all of them to be a good husband lol. i read it as them just trying to give some tips for what to look for given that too many women are out here pressed about shallow stuff like how tall a man is :). much of it is intuitive and like the article said “non-negotiable.” e.g. “family-oriented” (if u want kids that’s important), or “faithful” (well, why get married if u can’t handle that one right?). but if you’re not “sensitive,” for example, i don’t think the premise is that you’re a bad husband. if you’re HAPPILY married you’re probably hitting on many of these and then some, especially since much of this list is very surface.

    • Nope

      Same here. I think most of the items listed are an ongoing process, not a destination. It’s about developing these things WITH the other person, not coming into the relationship with them as a ready-made template.

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