Yes, for the ten thousandth time, regular decent black men have, for the most part, given up on black women. We are tired of the disrespect, self-hate, belligerence, lack of femininity (basically the Willie Lynch Syndrome) and the fake hair. The lowlife black dudes cant get enough of black women, and black women obviously cant get enough of the lowlife thugs, so they can have each other. Problem solved.

I totally agree with u. Dark skinned women are often treated like the plague especially from dark skinned men. How is it racist to want to be with ur own race, isn’t it ur preference. All over the world black men are rejecting black women and saying the most evil things about her. If u see black women as evil then u must hate with a strong passion the woman that brought u forth, coz she must be evil also, God is going to judge u for allowing genocide of children that should have been born FULL BLACK but who u despise and therefore go for lighter skinned children with softer hair. I fear that if I live long enough I maysee non existence of black people in the west becoz none are being born.

The only black women I am critical of are the ones who don’t have their Sugar Honey Iced Tea together. I like an independent black woman who can stand on her merits and own two feet. I like it when a black woman is confident, intelligent, honest, and ethical. That is what attracts me. I guess when brothers where getting ran under the bus for so long, there was bound to be inevitable backlash

I’m going to try to make this as brief as possible.

I’m a black man that has had the benefit of having been (and still) married twice to beautiful black women. I’ve ALWAYS been attracted to dark-skinned and caramel-skinned sistahs and was never really into my sistahs of a lighter shade (hey, just my preference). I have dated BW of various body types and weights. I’ve dated BW with children from previous relationships and currently have a blended family (stepchildren).

Having lived in different parts of the country, worked in both corporate and government environments and served in the military, I do not for a second, believe BM have given up on BW. I know plenty of brothas that are still looking for their black queen.

Are they issues that we as black men need to resolve between and amongst ourselves in order to be productive and positive human beings, better husbands to our wives, and better fathers to our children? Absolutely. We know BM as a whole need work. I don’t think you will find a real black man that will disagree with you. That being said…many of the BM I’ve spoken with (cuz brothas do talk about women and relationships) that have dated or are currently dating outside their race told me, it wasn’t because they viewed other races as a prize or have problems dealing with BW. Many just got tired of not meeting the requirements of sistahs. Either they weren’t street enough (not enough SWAG), had average blue collar jobs (not making $100K+), had unacceptable physical features (not tall enough or they’re overweight), too nice, etc. Others got constantly tired of being repeatedly shut down (in some cases, with a lot of angry attitude) when simply trying to approach BW, in many cases just to say “Hello” and keep it moving.

So when these BM are approached by women of other races and made to feel like they are accepted for who they are, without having to qualify on some requirements list, of course many of these brothas are going to see if the grass is really greener on the other side.

I know many of you may not agree or understand. Just my 2 cents…

Exactly.

Boring. Essentially running up the flag pole general stereotypes of black women as the reason lots of desirable Black men don’t date Black women exclusively. It is more complex. Black women have a visual love of black men and also have a mind’s eye of what the ideal black male is physical, spiritually, financially, etc. Most guys aren’t going to be able to hit all the marks. The men that do have 5 women at their beck and call. It’s ten times more complicated for black women than the article suggest.

So I am right. The black men YOU know are aggressive

Then go in peace. Marry a white, blue, green, brown, or pink woman of your choice. I’m sure you have your black mother’s blessing.

“black men are downright MEAN if you are darker. I do mean NARSTY. THEY TREAT YOU LIKE THE PLAGUE. I AM NOT LYING EITHER.”

wow. this is horrible.

The intensity of bitterness and hatred in these comments is disturbing. I believe many of the commenters, both men and women, probably need professional help. How is it possible to hate half of yourself with such intensity? Dating outside your race is fine but is it really necessary to hate your own people. How can that be healthy?

Decoding the complex web of stup!d behind the “why are black women single?” idea will take a lot of brain power and many dissertations (as someone once told me) to sort out. That said, I will simply say that assigning blame to anyone, black women or black men, misses the point. I think the problem lies almost entirely in the vomit soup that is racism/sexism in America.

There needs to be a more in depth assessment into what these institutionalized structures of racism are doing psychologically to our men, and how, if at all the emotional damage is bleeding into their interpersonal relationships with women. Black women are not to blame for the alleged “emasculation” of men. That is created by real-word manifestations of racism. These institutions are designed to keep black men powerless, because black male masculinity is the biggest perceived threat to white men.

It is true that black men view black women as a source of economic competition, which is bad for relationships, but only in our sexist society. The submission of women has been and still is the primary source of male “masculinity.” This is why other races can still stick together: because there are structures in place that force female submission even as more women go into the work force. Unequal pay is one, training both men and women for female subordination is another. There is a reason why women of other races are not perceived as aggressive: it is because they were conditioned to subordinate themselves to their men since the day they were born. By the time they are of marriageable age, it is an unconscious knee-jerk reaction. Yes it gets them men.

I disagree. The loyalty doesn’t lie in dating exclusively bl. women, but if you two share a social identity and heritage, you should both have respect for and a mutual desire to want to strengthen, not break down, that shared heritage.

Plus…i honestly haven’t really seen any comments about loyalty on here vs. “i hate you; i hate you TOO!” type ish.

I think a lot of people date different types of people for a multitude of reasons and although statistically speaking, inter-racial marriages are on the rise, the majority of people still marry within their own race. Most of the non black women I come into contact with are not interested in black men. I live in NYC and am around a lot of successful people everyday. Most of the women, white, hispanic, asian and indian are not interested in marriage with a black man. They may date and sleep with one, but have no plans to marry one. I would suggest the average black male truly understand this reality before declaring himself done with the black woman!!! Most of these people at the end of the day feel we are beneath them and anyone who doesn’t get that is not living in reality!!!! They only want those with money and then they clean them out on the way out!!!

This woman is north of 300 pounds but expects brothers to fall at her feet. I’m sure there are sick white men with fat fetishes who will love being with her and indulging their sick sexual fantasies. Those are the only white dudes interested in huge black women.

Black people no longer have any racial pride. They say the most hateful things about each other in public forums like this one, not caring that every other race is laughing at us. What the f*ck happened to us?

this article made me so sad for my sisters! I don’t what to say! It is just a dilemma!

MN can you please stop, this is so tired.

Who cares? When did Black men become something special?

I will NEVER date a man of another race because I’m attracted to black
men. When I do get married,I will marry a black men. The media is really
trying to make it seem like black men are marrying interracial. I DON’T
believe in interracial dating and I would NEVER date outside of my
race. IJS!!

Black women…your loyalty should be to yourself, and your happiness…its foolish to sit around caring about someone who has made it clear they don’t care about you. Be pro-YOU.

It’s unfair to say that black men as a whole are giving up on black women. There is just a higher demand for black men because the pool of men in general is smaller. More women to men available. Black men are exploring the “bigger buffet” of women that were not always accesbile to them or they feel they were deprived of years ago. Our culture has people traveling/moving around more, changing jobs more often which opens groups up to socializing in ways never though of before. People are marrying later in life which gives more time to expand your horizons, and increases the chance of ending up with someone much different than yourself. Plus that ugly myth of white superiority is still prevelant in the minds of some black people that somehow a white woman is a mysterious prize no matter if she has decent character or not. Lot of black women however, are reluctant to open themselves up the same way to “others”, but we can’t keep blaming black men for that. Not every man (white included) is attracted to a stick figure, that allows total control over them and has to have alabaster skin. The dating pool is more competitve for black women, but there are still plenty of options of men that will embrace what you have to offer no matter what a few bitter/insecure people say. Don’t allow the calloused behavior and bad mouthing of a few L.A. idioots to break your belief in yourself. Strong confidence takes women a lot farther than beauty – look at Nene Leakes doing her thing and still has men falling at her feet.

In terms of black men being the most openly critical of us, yeah I agree. But I never really felt a sense of obligation to waiting on a black man in particular, so it didn’t necessarily translate the same way. I guess I always had the mindset of whomever can love me the right way and build me up is who is deserving of my time, and whether black, beige, yellow, green doesn’t matter. My husband is a European beige man, but it wasn’t because I was purposely looking for that, it just happened that way.

oh god. poor dat

After reading this I definitely understand. But I think black men have given up on themselves. The interesting thing is that you’d think if anyone would give up–it would be US! Between the ones in jail, the baby daddies, the uneducated, the ones with no drive and no job, the ones who have no clue how to treat a woman, that leaves us with very few options. Yet, we stay extremely loyal, myself included. Honestly, I don’t see black women being too assertive etc, but I think sometimes brothers want the easy way out, and don’t like having someone who is going to push them. Honestly at this point, I’m more concerned with finding a black man I feel I can be with, as opposed to one who wants me. The pickings are slim and the options (at least where I am) are extremely depressing.

There are other men on this planet besides black ones.