Is It Better To Be Unattractive Or Overweight?

April 22, 2013  |  

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When I first started on my weight loss journey after having my daughter, I remember updating one of my sisters on my progress.  After I hit the 15 pound loss mark she was excited for me.  Though she was happy, I couldn’t really embrace it because I felt that even though I had made a dent in the large amount of padding that was on my body, it wouldn’t be good enough because to the outside world I was still fat.  Plan and simple.  Until my body went back to its normal size, I felt worried that every pound or inch loss would be in vain until reaching my coveted size before being seen as appropriate to the public.

Recently, we’ve discussed the increase of “fat shaming” in the world, from insensitive quotes, airlines contemplating to over charge overweight individuals, and the discrepancy of pay wages based on weight.  There is even an article on The Huffington Post where a woman addresses the discrimination that she felt by her boss over her size and how she was forced to quit.  While discussing this with one of my best friends she tried to encourage me with:  “Well, you might not be at the size that you’re comfortable yet, but at least you still have a pretty face.”

Maybe it’s because with the increase of our social media, that requires people to use a photograph of themselves that is causing people to become more image conscious.  But all of this made me wonder, which is the lesser of the two, being over weight, or being unattractive?

So let’s discuss this weight thing.  I remember when we posted the article on Tyrese‘s criticism on overweight individuals, and reading the comment section and some of you all were going IN on dude.  But, it made me remember the comments on the airplane wage  suggestion of having obese flyers to “pay what you weigh,” and there were many people who agreed with it (making me feel that people might have agreed more with Tyrese than what they wanted to put on).  It seems that the common thread of how people saw obese and overweight people were that the discrimination was warranted due to the fact that for most people it’s a controllable condition with a solution.

But does that mean that unattractiveness is something that can be forgiven?  Now me, personally, I don’t believe that anyone is ugly, because beauty is subjective.  Even if you don’t find someone attractive, there are others that do.  We see this all the time.  Things that have been criticized on black women (big lips, hips, and butt) have been celebrated on more European figures.  Also, if I have to gauge someone else’s beauty then I have to gauge my own, and honestly, I’m too sensitive to try to figure out if I’m pretty or not.  But, there are certain facial features that almost universally convey trust and appeal to others (which is why in cartoon movies, all the villains tend to look alike).  Things like how far set your eyes are, how symmetrical your face is, the shape of your face, and for men, the appearance of facial hair has also played a part in wage differences.

But with each factor, weight, and your perceived attractiveness seems to play a part in how people treat you.  Is it right?  No.  People should be treated by their character, and usually that ends up happening… after you get to know someone.  However, sometimes you have to endure people judging you and your abilities on superficial reasons.  People can assume horrible things about you, whether you’re overweight, thin, attractive, or not regarded as so.  But, let’s have an open discussion, readers.  What do you think that society, or you yourself favor?  Do you feel you treat one better than the other?

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