Go Ahead and Judge: Is It Wrong to Have a Sugar Baby-Sugar Daddy Relationship?

April 16, 2013  |  


In this day and age, women are certainly not afraid to get out and make a living to support their families. Due to the Great Recession, in 2009 wives contributed to 47 percent of household income, and with men losing their jobs disproportionately to women this number is increasing. Although women aren’t reluctant to get their hands dirty in the working world, that doesn’t dilute the desire for a man to be the financial provider.

As a group of strong women described to Ebony magazine, for women, wealth represents power. Dating and relationship coach Morgan McKean stated that being attracted to power is in our DNA as women and that “women believe that a more powerful man will create strong offspring and that he will have the wherewithal to provide for her and her young.”

Now I understand that the Sugar Baby-Sugar Daddy relationship is not based on building a family, but I just wanted to take a moment to explain what naturally draws women to men who have financial resources. Sugar Babies get a bad rap and are branded solely as gold diggers and trollops, while a general attraction to a man’s power may be the basis for the relationship. And men in this position may act as mentors and provide intellectual stimulation to their Sugar Babies.

There’s nothing wrong with a single man showering a single woman with gifts if he chooses. I’m sure the woman he is courting has her role to play and it’s not all shopping, vacations, and roses.  Whether the man is dating other women, has high sexual demands, or doesn’t want to commit to a real relationship, he’s getting what he wants. I’ve seen women put up with the same issues for far less, even from men with no income at all.

With 37 percent of Sugar Daddies having wives at home, it’s clear that the side piece is being incentivized with gifts to stay in the relationship and keep her mouth closed. This is the type of toxic love triangle that I don’t agree with; it usually leads to divorce, disappointment, or worse. In the Sugar Daddy Capital of Atlanta most statistics agree that black women outnumber black men. It may be a challenge to find a single straight man, but it’s not worth the wrath of a scorned wife and the moral degradation.

In most relationships whether it be a dating couple, friends with benefits or a marriage, both people have demands and criteria for keeping the relationship going. Being a Sugar Baby has these same sorts of demands and as long as no one is jeopardizing their integrity I don’t see anything wrong with it. A woman should always independently ensure that she can provide for herself and is not stuck in this type of situation just to pay the bills. For a woman who is already a boss, a man choosing to share his wealth is just an added perk. Frankly many women who throw shade at other women in a healthy Sugar Baby-Sugar Daddy relationship generally live in glass houses and are most times just jealous.

What do you think? Can you have a healthy Sugar Baby-Sugar Daddy relationship? Are women in this situation degrading themselves?

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  • Ladybug94

    It can be potentially dangerous.

  • chanela

    um yes. when you’re helping to ruin someone’s marriage. wth? i don’t care about “judging” it’s wrong.

  • Kenedy

    Don’t see anything wrong with it….I’d be a sugar baby…..need someone to pay off these student loans…yup

  • Pivyque

    As long as both of them are clear on what it is they want, I don’t see anything wrong with it. I do think it should consist of two single people, rather than one being married, but as long as it’s not my husband, I can’t say I care too much lol

  • Yes I Said It

    Everyone is different, so I won’t criticize.. I would not want a relationship like this. I know how to make money and I outright own property that makes money for me. I prefer an available man who is with me because he wants to be there, not somebody paying me while he’s probably cheating on his wife.

  • I am not touching that with a 10 ft pole.

  • you wish you were me

    I currently have a sugar daddy that gives me a 5,000 monthly allowance and pays for gifts, trips, etc…Its a perfect arrangement because he is a surgeon so he is busy with work and he is married so I don’t have to see him all the time.I know it will never turn into a real relationship and I am fine with that, I just enjoy the time we spend and the perks we have. The reason he is with me is because he likes how I look and is no longer attracted to his wife.I am attracted to his money, perks and sex. I also get to date who I really want on the side so its a win win. I think every woman should do something like this…just saying. Judge if you want but I love it.

    • Jaos

      Girl I am looking for a similar arrangement I just don’t know about a website to find this here situation. My only caveat would be he could not be married OR his wife would have to know of our situation. I ain’t going to h@ll just for a couple of bucks now! lol

      • you wish you were me

        LOL. They have sugar daddy websites like sugardaddyforme. But just start going to upscale hotel bars (you catch business men in town), steak houses, etc…any place where you need to have money and sit at the bar and look pretty. Trust me, they will come.

    • wellllll

      honestly, a lot of these men out here bring nothing but heartache, kids with other women and drama. at least in an arrangement like this you’re walking away with something you can use. I’ve been dating thinking maybe I should at least be getting SOMETHING out of this other than a whole lot of foolery with no perks.

      • you wish you were me

        Exactly. Alot of these men ain’t sh*t so you might as well get something out of this. I don’t depend on my sugar daddy I still work my job, but I def enjoy getting an extra 5000 a month, gifts and trips.

    • Guest

      Wow! So, of course you have to sleep with this married man for the cash and be available when he wants you to be. How long do you think this will last? I’m not bashing, I just find this interesting.

      • you wish you were me

        I don’t know how long it will last I am just enjoying the perks for now. I know it won’t last forever. Like I said earlier I still work my own job, live on my own, etc…so I don’t NEED his money I just enjoy it. I can take care of myself so all his money, gifts, trips, etc…are all extra. So I’m going to keep taking it as long as he gives it. Its been 9 months so far.

        • pola

          i also have a similar situation and i enjoy it big tym, after all all men outside there are the same you can date a young or old the same sex you will will get and maybe not even get the extra perks as you get from SD, he makes tym for me i get him whn i wnt him, i get mony whn i wnt it, i dnt abuse the oppotunity bt i use it, i work an get paid well, and all i enjoy is extras, i gv hm gus sex and i enjoy hm , i dnt strss of anything especailly for a chtng byfrnd or wht , he is wht i wnt , its been four years now, ths is long enough and still going , he is my SD also my boss, you can judge me i do not care , you are also not any better or an angel. even those boyfrnds gives u same sex or even bad , cheats, no money, abusive,not even happy, nothng is ryt , so why nt on him he is 49 and i am 25, 24 is the difference, i dnt have stress, i get mny whn i want, see him whn i want, sex whn i wnt, i am fine wth him.

    • Herm Cain


      • anonymouse

        exactly and he’s probably the type that’s gonna throw a hissy fit when his wife demands half in a divorce. To take 5k from your family to give to some bird…what a loser

    • T Pain