Go Ahead and Judge: Is It Wrong to Have a Sugar Baby-Sugar Daddy Relationship?

April 16, 2013  |  

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In this day and age, women are certainly not afraid to get out and make a living to support their families. Due to the Great Recession, in 2009 wives contributed to 47 percent of household income, and with men losing their jobs disproportionately to women this number is increasing. Although women aren’t reluctant to get their hands dirty in the working world, that doesn’t dilute the desire for a man to be the financial provider.

As a group of strong women described to Ebony magazine, for women, wealth represents power. Dating and relationship coach Morgan McKean stated that being attracted to power is in our DNA as women and that “women believe that a more powerful man will create strong offspring and that he will have the wherewithal to provide for her and her young.”

Now I understand that the Sugar Baby-Sugar Daddy relationship is not based on building a family, but I just wanted to take a moment to explain what naturally draws women to men who have financial resources. Sugar Babies get a bad rap and are branded solely as gold diggers and trollops, while a general attraction to a man’s power may be the basis for the relationship. And men in this position may act as mentors and provide intellectual stimulation to their Sugar Babies.

There’s nothing wrong with a single man showering a single woman with gifts if he chooses. I’m sure the woman he is courting has her role to play and it’s not all shopping, vacations, and roses.  Whether the man is dating other women, has high sexual demands, or doesn’t want to commit to a real relationship, he’s getting what he wants. I’ve seen women put up with the same issues for far less, even from men with no income at all.

With 37 percent of Sugar Daddies having wives at home, it’s clear that the side piece is being incentivized with gifts to stay in the relationship and keep her mouth closed. This is the type of toxic love triangle that I don’t agree with; it usually leads to divorce, disappointment, or worse. In the Sugar Daddy Capital of Atlanta most statistics agree that black women outnumber black men. It may be a challenge to find a single straight man, but it’s not worth the wrath of a scorned wife and the moral degradation.

In most relationships whether it be a dating couple, friends with benefits or a marriage, both people have demands and criteria for keeping the relationship going. Being a Sugar Baby has these same sorts of demands and as long as no one is jeopardizing their integrity I don’t see anything wrong with it. A woman should always independently ensure that she can provide for herself and is not stuck in this type of situation just to pay the bills. For a woman who is already a boss, a man choosing to share his wealth is just an added perk. Frankly many women who throw shade at other women in a healthy Sugar Baby-Sugar Daddy relationship generally live in glass houses and are most times just jealous.

What do you think? Can you have a healthy Sugar Baby-Sugar Daddy relationship? Are women in this situation degrading themselves?

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