‘Nobody Is Going To Force Me Into Anything:’ Nelly Talks Dating In The Industry And Why He Won’t Be Coerced Into Marriage

April 5, 2013  |  

Source: WENN

The absence of a marriage proposal is a topic that commonly surfaces when Nelly and Ashanti’s not-so-secret relationship is being discussed. After more than seven years being in a relationship, why didn’t Nelly take the “Never Too Far Away” singer as his wife? During a recent interview with Vlad TV, the rapper addresses those burning questions. He expressed that he takes marriage very seriously and breaks down the differences between entertainment industry relationships and everyday relationships. Check out some of what he had to say.

On if he ever sees himself getting married:

“Yeah I think so. But the thing about marriage is, nobody is going to force me into anything and nobody’s going to rush me into anything. I take marriage very seriously. I only know two ways of marriage. My parents’ marriage did not last at all and my grandparents’ marriage lasted sixty years. So I’m either going to go all the way to sixty or I’m not going to do it. You’re going to know when it’s right. I feel like marriage is just something you know is right. There’s no questions. In order for me to feel like this is going to be it, I have to have no questions. But do I see myself getting married? Hell yeah.”

On if he’s ever been close to marriage: 

“I don’t think you’ve been close until you’ve been engaged.”

On industry relationships vs. everyday relationships: 

“Let’s say you’ve known someone for seven years, but you’ve known them for seven years in this business. Now let’s take a couple that’s a everyday average couple and they’ve known each other for seven years. The regular couple’s seven years is different because they’ve actually been together almost everyday for seven years, this couple [the industry couple] may have known each other for seven years, but they’ve only been together five days out of a month. Although the time has went, it really hasn’t been seven years of really knowing them. It’s probably only equaled out to three and a half years as far as 365 days. If you look at a regular couple, yeah seven years is a long time. In that situation [dating someone in the industry], you don’t learn as much about a person until you get a chance to stop and be with that person. I think people see relationships that industry-folk have and they see the time, but they’re not doing the math on that time.”

What are your thoughts on his response?

Turn the page to watch Nelly’s full interview.

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  • minerva

    worst thing ANYONE can do is marry before they’re ready–at any age or any other reason !
    marriage is easy to get in, hard and expensive to get out–and I speak from
    personal experience !
    there are too many kids caught up in divorces between parents that weren’t mentally ready to

  • taries17

    I totally agree with nelly, If i were a celebrity spouse i would want my own business to tend to to keep me occupied or if no kids yet travel with him and work for the team. A Stylist , accountant, personal shopper, what ever to be with my man.

  • scandalous7

    Well said Nelly, cant argue with that.

  • I get it Nelly..lol

  • He a damn lie. He said it right the first time. She was putting those screw to his azz and trying to lock down a ring and he “wasn’t going to be forced” to marry her. All that other noise is pure and utter nonsense. Industry relationship or normal everyday relationship it doesn’t take a man who wants you and only you 7 years or 3 1/2 years to at LEAST get engaged. Throwing up the penalty bull ish flag on this play.

  • YES gAWD

    And then at the end of the day theres alot of miscommunication that goes on within datin in the industry, Every tabloid and blog reporting this that and the third when you are seen here and there, it just takes strength and a strong commitment from the 2 people involved to withstand the scrutiny and not listen to it. If you not that invested in the other person it aint gon work. PERIOD. Like Bey say, ALL THAT GOSSIPIN 10 YEARS STOP IT!! LONDON SPEED IT UP HOUSTON ROCKET! lol

  • Atin

    So that’s why “Hollywood couples” don’t last?

    • Chile Cheese

      I mean I guess he is telling the truth….I would need to be with someone daily or have a strong commitment from them to get married myself and Im a woman. I dont think I could walk down the isle with anyone i see twice a month and at events either, I dont care what we call ourselves. Theres nothing like putting in the time.

  • Meyaka

    Negro,weren’t you with her for 10 good years? How was she forcing you to do anything? Oh my God where would you simpletons be if some women weren’t broken?

  • .:*whitneyeclectic*:.

    Honestly, his reasoning makes a lot of sense. Industry relationships are different from average everyday relationships. Average relationships you see that person damn near everyday. Entertainment relationships you always have something going on and you don’t get a lot of time to see your S/O unless you take a long sabbatical away from the limelight (that’s more than a couple of months for the BOTH of you). That’s why a lot of these entertainment pairings don’t really last all that long and most of these entertainers have an extensive list of ex’s. Either way, some people can make it work (congrats to them!) and there will always be those that can’t. Nelly and Ashanti are just the latest. :/

    • Pivyque

      Well, I have never been on the industry side of things, but (prior to getting married) we were long distance for a good minute. So, I think that if two people know that they want to be with each other and they want to get married, it will happen. They just have to be on the same page. It just seems like maybe he was using this as an excuse. Like you said, some people can make it work, so we know that it is possible. Nelly and Ashanti just weren’t in that place with each other.

  • Amy

    Say what u want, but I’m not waiting 7 yrs for no man. Who the hell wants to be the seven year girlfriend. Not even a “I-will-marry-you-one-good-day” ring? Oh he’ll naww!

    • michaelderrick

      BS, you would !! if he was as famous and loaded as Nelly is !

    • scandalous7

      Wow, 7 years is actually my minimum. If he is still with me and tolerating me after that amount of time (and vise versa) then I would be comfortable marrying him. Period. It only makes sense. 7 years is the standard as far as Im concerned. Now Im not saying waiting 7 years will guarantee a long marriage but thats the amount of time Im comfortable with. Anything earlier is way too fast. Must have time to really get to know the person.

      • 7 years with the wrong man is a long time to wast IMO. Especially if you want children and your in your late twenties early 30’s. Why would it take 7 years to find out if you can ‘tolerate’ someone?


    Spoken like a true man-whore! He is like a tree…taking forever to grow up…I hope his women take this as a warning…smfh

    • michaelderrick

      Maybe he just doesn’t want to get robbed of his hard earned money !! You have to give it up for Nelly for been a smart brother and not marrying at all.

      One thing which boggles my mind is, why are men still choosing to get married in todays world, especially the successful ones ? Don’t they know, Men usually get the shaft when the marriage falls apart and women file 70 percent of all divorces.

      BLACK Women claim to be these independent creatures that don’t need men, but they continuously uphold these double standards and find legal loop holes to leech onto a man’s pocket.

      • you madd

        Nelly and men like him get with women without a pot to pee in and then wonder why they get taken to the cleaners by a pretty face that wasnt use to nice things….I know you are not going to sit up here and blame it on one sex when both sexs’ are to blame for marrying and choosing partners for t he WRONG REASONS.

      • Herm cain

        Right then we he’s paying spousal support and giving up half his s**t black women will say he should’ve never got married brothers especially financially secure brothers better understand marriage is a shake down and a control tactic women know when married you more likely to stay in a relationship even if miserable to avoid the financial fallout fairy tales are expensive

        • White men with money marry ALL the time. Do you think black women are the only gold diggers on the planet? Are these white men stupid for marrying and making a family?

          • Herm Cain

            A white man will marry a h*e without flinching Becky comes out of college having had a few trains ran on her and in 3 yrs she’s a soccer mom with 2 kids brothers aren’t as gullible we know its chess one bad decision can ruin my life I’m already battling every negative statistic and stereotype black women specifically can be some of the most bitter spiteful women in the world and if the relationship goes sour she’s aiming where it hurts the pocket

            • Guest

              So, go robbe a white man !

            • Yes because most black men have money that women will be gunning for *eye roll*. This whole “Imma save my change and not marry these hoes” is certainly your prerogative. Would you just tell your brothern to stop having this idiotic frame of mind yet and still making babies with these “hoes” they won’t marry? That’s my biggest problem. We stay losing because sadly our men have no ideal or concept of being the head of an intact family and often think it more desirable to have a smattering of children with different “hoes” they had no intention of wifing up. Tis triflin and counterproductive. Marriage isn’t for everyone and neither is parenthood.

          • michaelderrick

            So, go robbe a white man ! fine by me….

            • So michaelderrick is also Herman Cain? You have no life so you have multiple trolling accounts on WOMAN’s website. You sir, are going to need to come and get your life!

              • michaelderrick

                What are you smoking women ? i don’t understand what you are talking about. Which website did i comment on ?

      • You are aware of this thing called a pre-nup right? You are aware that black men overall have the least financial resources when compared to every other race right? so the odds that black women are pushing for marriage to make a come up off his 35k a year salary is laughable at best and absurd. We both know that whole screw em and leave em schtick isn’t working out too well.

        • michaelderrick

          Why do so many women feel that they are ENTITLED to a man’s money? Judging from the bitter comments her at Madamenoire and other places like Huffpost, it is very hard not to conclude most women (specially black women) have an entitlement mentality, especially to a man’s wealth !

          I’m tired of seeing women, who live off of their ex-husband’s huge child support and alimony payments, jumping up and yelling I’m a strong and INDEPENDENT woman while simultaneously leaching off of their ex-husbands sweat, blood and tears. The smartest thing for a good black man to do is adopt a “Me first” mentality.

          The only diffrent betwen a wife and a prostitute is :- A wife gets a salary and a pension while a prostitute gets an hourly wages.

          • Okay Herman Cain, that is your other alter ego on here right? We know you’ve got at least 2 child support orders on your azz right now. We also know you are too ignorant to have married anybody to have attempted to make a stable family. Sour grapes my friend, sour grapes.

      • anonymouse

        she was loaning his ‘broke’ behind money and you are aware that money earned before marriage can’t be touched, right??

      • dcgirlnmd

        @michaelderrick:disqus Let’s not forget that the so called “established brothers” that you are speaking of rarely marry Black women..so why do you call us leaches. It’s the white women and the “exotic” KimK and Evelyn types that are getting the Black wealthy men (like Tiger, Mike Shrahan, Eddie Murphy, Terrance Howard, Chris Bosh, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc) and thus are getting the doe! Im so sick of Black women being blamed for everything!! When will Black men learn that when youre married, NO woman will put up with infidelity for a lifetime!!!! Period.

  • pretty1908

    He is too old to be acting like this…. yes when you finally meet the one there will plenty of questions. you are supposed question things not jump into all crazy. Nelly is a like a lot of men , they are going to hold out for as long as they can.