Make Him Notice You 101: How to Be a Successful Flirt

April 5, 2013  |  
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Flirting doesn’t always come easily — or naturally — for some women. Some of us are shy or just completely unfamiliar with being able to flirt without coming across as cheesy or desperate. If you’ve got your eye on a man and you know it’s up to you to make the move, you’ll need to learn how to flirt the right way. Let us help you.


Be confident

When you’re not confident, you’re just not going to be a good flirt. Flirting requires a lot of self-confidence and high self-esteem, and if you lack that, you’re going to find that flirting isn’t exactly easy. If you have self-image issues, try to work through them before you put yourself into an even more vulnerable position. This way when you do approve a man, you’re confident, and he can see it.


Make eye contact often

Eye contact is crucial when it comes to flirting. Eye contact on it’s own is very flirty, especially when you catch yourself looking at him the same time he’s looking at you. Constant eye contact is a flirting basic and the more you smile, the clearer it becomes that you’re interested. And you didn’t even have to say anything!


Flash your smile

Aside from making eye contact with the man you’re interested in, smiling also makes things a lot easier. As a whole, smiling will make you seem much more approachable. Who wants to talk to a girl who looks sad or angry? That’s a complete turn out. Flash your smile when appropriate and show that you’re a nice woman who is interested and easy to talk to .


Let your body do some talking

Sometimes talking isn’t the best way to flirt, or maybe you’re still a bit unsure as to what to say to a man. When this happens, let your body flirt with him instead of your mouth. Smile a lot, make eye contact, play with your hair, make quick glances at him, something! Show that you’re flirting and interested but do so silently.

AP Photos

Break the ice

Once you’re flirting in full force and he seems to be picking up on the signals you’re sending, you’ll have to have a plan to break the ice. Stay away from the cheesy pick-up lines and don’t approach a man without knowing exactly what you’re going to say or do. Be courageous and approach him, but before you do, know what you’re going to say. There’s nothing worse than freezing up when approaching a guy.


Don’t seem desperate

There’s a fine line between being flirty and being desperate. If you have a guy in your sights, go for it, but if he isn’t feeling you, know that it’s time to move on. At the same time, don’t go to a bar or a club and flirt with every guy there. While you’re flirting, you’re making yourself seem desperate and thirsty. When it doesn’t work with one guy, feel free to move on to another, but have a cut off limit when things aren’t working out.


Be relaxed

When flirting, being relaxed is one of the most important things to keep in mind. If you’re nervous and anxious, it’ll show, and you may forget your words or be extremely awkward when you do decide to approach someone. Before you go up to a guy and talk to him, make sure that your nerves are well under control and that you’ve got your game face on.


Flirt somewhere unexpected

Competition is always bound to be near, so why not flirt somewhere unexpected? This not only gives you a chance to practice flirting in an out-of-the-norm environment, there’s also less chances of having to deal with other women who are also interested in the guy that you have your eyes set on. If you see an attractive guy in the grocery store or in line somewhere, don’t hesitate to flirt and talk to him.


Be blunt

When it comes to flirting, you can either be direct or indirect. If you’re interested in a guy and you want to know more about him, tell him that straight out. Sometimes being direct and blunt with your flirting and your intentions will go a long way. In the end you’ll appreciate it and more than likely so will he.


Tease him

Teasing doesn’t necessarily have to be physical and in the bedroom. At the same time, flirting doesn’t always have to be compliment after compliment and smile after smile. Throw him a couple lines that keep the mood light and funny, but also a bit sarcastic. Teasing will keep the conversation going and it allows you to flirt in a more lighthearted and non-traditional way.


Cliffhangers are your friend

Flirting successfully means being able to be forward and flirtatious, all while leaving him wanting something more. When flirting with a man, leave yourself a bit of a mystery. When he doesn’t know everything about you and when you leave him with a bit of a cliffhanger, things will only get more interesting, and you’ll be able to draw him in.


Practice makes perfect

One of the best ways to become a successful flirt is to simply flirt often. Practice on various guys and before you know it, flirting will become second nature. Take mental notes on your setbacks and learn from them.

AP Photo/The Sacramento Bee, Randall Benton

Go where there’s bound to be plenty of men

When you’re feeling a bit flirty, you don’t want to go somewhere where the number of men is bound to be scarce. Instead, increase your chances of finding a guy by going places where there is sure to be plenty of men. Bars and clubs are definitely ideal places to go, but know that you may come across some competition. The mall may also be a good flirting spot.


Don’t take things personally

Even if you’re the most attractive, smartest, and most confident woman that there is, not every man is going to vibe with you. When you get shot down, don’t let it bring you down. There are plenty of guys out there who are more than likely going to mesh with you. One failed attempt at reeling one in isn’t and shouldn’t be the end of the world. Move on and take it in stride.

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  • Katrina

    Flirting 101. You see a dude you like you talk to him or seat on the side looking like a creep winking with eerily long eye contact hoping he talks to you first. Women can be lazy sometimes. You don’t have to put on your full Carmen with the slick talk and Eartha Kitt growls, but just start a normal convo. It’s really not that hard and you don’t need 14 tips to do it either.

  • how is eye contact flirting? I thought that was just a sign of being a social person. You’re supposed to give a person eye contact when you speak to them.

  • kaykay2020

    This was really useless mn…

  • chanela

    damn. this changed my life. this whole time i thought flirting was when you go up to a man you like and grab his pee pee while shouting ” you iz mines nigha!take it to da hole!”. learn something new everyday!

    • Ms. Kameria


  • Akiko

    Eye contact doesn’t always mean someone is interested in you. With the way these jokers are out here, eye contact is a form of one watching their back and being concerned about their safety.