You Can Plug That Leak: 15 Celebrity ‘Secrets’ They Can Keep

April 5, 2013  |  
Halle Berry

Threatening to spill tea is a great way to get everybody’s attention. But you’ve got to have a juicy secret to get folk to stop and listen. These celebrities are spillin’ stories, but holding back on what we really want to know. Here are the secrets we’ve heard and why we think they can do better on the rumor front.

Winter Ramos

Winter Ramos

Winter Ramos announced that she’s releasing a tell-all book called Game Over. But what we want to know is “do we really need another groupie memoir?” We get how being a groupie works. That hasn’t been a secret since Supahead.

What we want to know is Winter’s big secret. She recently told us all about her pregnancy in an exclusive Madame Noire interview. But she left out the juicy stuff: the dirt on her baby daddy.

Beyonce

Beyonce

We all love to hear news about Bey, but not everything is worth a headline. When the blogosphere exploded with news that Beyonce revealed a big secret in the April issue of Shape, we were all ears. Especially when we read the headline “Beyonce Cheats”. Turns out, the secret wasn’t about her marriage at all. The big news was that she cheats on her diet. Weak.

Jesse Jackson Jr.

Jesse Jackson Jr.

Apparently Jesse Jackson Jr. hasn’t embarrassed himself enough. He already got fired from his seat in Congress for using over $750,000 in campaign funds on “personal living expenses”. Now he wants to sell the dirty secret details in a tell-all memoir so he can live off book proceeds instead of campaign money. Get a job Jess. No one is interested.

Brandy Norwood

Brandy

Brandy will always be our girl from back in the day. But we’d appreciate it if she’d stop stalling. She went on the Wendy Williams Show promising to reveal a secret about her wedding.

The big news? That she chose her daughter to be her bridesmaid. That’s cute and all but you know what we really want to know. When’s the wedding date?!

DJ Envy

DJ Envy

DJ Envy recently revealed to his listeners that he had a secret — he cheated on his wife:

“It’s a difficult thing to do. Sometimes being married it makes you insecure dude. I looked like I had everything.

It was scary, my wife is gorgeous. She might need somebody that’s smarter than me. It made me insecure.”

That was a real touching confession, but he forgot to mention that Erica Mena already spilled about her affair with DJ Envy on “The Breakfast Club”.

To make his “secret” even uglier, he went on to drag Erica’s name through the mud:

“I started messing with somebody that was beneath me. A bird. Evil. A liar. Somebody that was desperate and it’s just so pathetic.

I mean I didn’t have to feed this person. I didn’t have to make her feel special, because she wasn’t. So that’s what it was.”

That’s cold.

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan

Perez Hilton recently spilled the beans on a secret affair: Apparently, Charlie Sheen made Lindsay Lohan sleep with him for her role in Anger Management.

That would be scandalous news if if it were about anyone else. This “big secret” isn’t even a drop in the bucket of nastiness and foolery that these two have been up to during their careers.

Halle Berry

Halle Berry

We love Halle, but your girl’s got trouble. That’s why exactly no one was amazed when Halle revealed her “big secret” to Contact Music.

Apparently, Halle’s been going to therapy for the past 30 years:

”I’ve done therapy on an as-needed basis since I was probably 10 years old.

I try really hard not to take my problems out on others and, in order to do that, I tend to mask the bad stuff or deal with it internally – you know, keep my chin up, put on a brave face and just keep going. If I do have a problem, I handle it so well that most other people don’t even know about it.”

If your life reads like a lifetime movie, you should spend a little time on the inside of a psychiatrist’s office. It would be a bigger surprise to learn that she’d made it through all that drama without any professional help.

Chris Brown

Chris Brown

Chris Brown’s big secret? He doesn’t get along with people. Shocking we know.

While on tour for his new album “X” he spilled this tea during an interview with The Breakfast Club’s Power 105.1:

“People just don’t like certain people. He don’t like me. I don’t like him.”

Umm…we already knew that.

What is surprising is that Chris Brown collabed with Drake’s boy Kendrick Lamar on his new album. We guess some fueds don’t get in the way of business. And that might be good news because the new track is supposed to be bangin’.

Keshia Knight Pulliam

Keshia Knight Pulliam

Since Keshia’s debut on the celebrity diving show “Splash,” magazines have been tapping her to share her post-pool hair care secrets with sisters. Lord knows we don’t always get along with chlorine.

But her big secret doesn’t have much relevance for most sisters:

“Girl, I just jump right in. I throw it in a ponytail and kept it moving. The funny thing is, people only know me for having straight hair for work, but I live in Atlanta where it’s hot and humid in the summertime. So when I’m home I wear my hair natural.

My hair is naturally curly, I don’t have a relaxer. I just use really good products because at the end of the day, it’s all about keeping your hair hydrated and making sure when you get out of that chlorine you wash your hair. No matter what your hair looks like once it’s wet, it’s about embracing it and loving yourself for you and all that that entails.”

Good for you Keisha. The rest of us will just continue stayin’ out the pool.

Terrence Howard

Terrence Howard

Terrence recently went on ABC.com to reveal a few juicy secrets about The Best Man sequel we’ve all been waiting for. And he let a big bomb drop about the plot:

“I think it’s going to be an amazing film and I get teary-eyed thinking about it because there’s some tragedy in it. That’s all I’ll say.”

Tragedy for who?! We can’t wait ’til November to find that out.

Kenya Moore

Kenya Moore

Girl, when are you going to stop spilling Walter’s tea? They were “together” for like 5 minutes and even that was fake.

This time Kenya’s big secret is about Walter’s failed marriages and bastard child. She wrote this on her Bravo blog:

“A REAL man would never lead a woman on, try to humiliate or hurt them, or try to intimidate them once you have broken up for the sake of more camera time or fame. No one forced anyone to be mean, hateful, evil, or stupid.

I am not the person with not one, but TWO FAILED MARRIAGES and a child out of wedlock.”

But she also “spilled” that Walter was gay. Are we really still listening to the words that come out of her mouth?

Consequence

Consequence

In an interview with Hot 97, Consequence leaked the “secret” that Joe Budden was gay. He even said he had proof from Joe Budden’s phone that Joe was texting a dude that sounded like his boyfriend. He conveniently lost the phone before the interview.

That might have been a scandalous secret if we didn’t all know that Joe Budden and his people whopped on Consequence right before the confession. Is calling someone gay everybody’s new favorite way of clapping back? Yawn.

Erica Mena

Erica Mena

Erica Mena’s big secret? She’s dating women now. Surprise ya’ll: Erica is hooking up in scandalous fashion and making sure the media knows about it. Why are we not shocked? Here’s one of her classier Tweets about her new relationship:

Erica Mena's Tweet

Jay-Z

Jay-Z

The tabloids have been spilling Jay-Z’s tea recently. Apparently, he’s been spotted out and about in New York City with women who are not Beyonce. Well not really “with” as much as “near”. And even though the paparazzi have spotted him more than once, we know better. Jay-Z ain’t crazy. He wouldn’t step out on Bey to run off in secret with a nameless groupie.

Michael Jordan, Yvette Prieto

Pamela Smith

This random sister made her way to the tabloids when she tried to pin her baby on Michael Jordan. But she could have gone on and kept that baby a secret. We didn’t need the results of a DNA test to prove that wasn’t Michael’s kid. Michael doesn’t even really get down with the sisters like that. Show us a secret beige baby and you’ll have our attention.

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  • scandalous7

    oh yes JAY Z would.

    • KenHawk

      Thank you. A man who will cheat WILL CHEAT. Period. It’s a matter of integrity, not how fine his woman is at home.

      • scandalous7

        say it again , cuz we’ve seen it time and time again. Halle Berry is the poster child for that myth.

  • get yo life

    so let me get this straight you created an entire post on celeb secrets that are not newsworthy, wouldnt that make this post unworthy too?

    • Jacquiline Perkins

      ”Right”….What was that the soap’s are more interesting ……

  • Keisha Samoht

    I know that money taking fool aint writing no book! Oohhh, i swear! what for to tell what exactly you spent people’s money on? Jesse jr. please dont. i’m still mad about that. I bet if he does he aint gone give a dime of the money he makes off it back the the people he took it from. Campaign funds my behind…

  • I feel sorry for that girl who messed with that dj, he shouldn’t have talked about her so bad. He was the one who messed with her after all, but she brought it on herself bragging about messing with somebody husband