Are You Reminiscing Over Something You Never Really Had?

March 31, 2013  |  

Source: Shutterstock

From Essence

When I was younger, I used to hate when the grown folks would reminisce about the “good ole’ days.” Now that I’m older, I catch myself doing the same far more often than I would like to admit. It’s natural to have fond memories of times gone by, except when it comes to past dysfunctional relationships.

Recently, one of my sister-friends asked to stop by my house unexpectedly. I could tell from the tone in her voice that she needed to talk. Upon her arrival, she told me that she’d just picked up the last of her belongings from her old home where her ex-boyfriend still lives. She was feeling a sense of melancholy and missing the relationship, which is understandable after a final act like that one.

“Reminisce from a distance,” I cautioned. True, she’s been single for about two years. (Yes, it took her two years to get the rest of her stuff). And, it is so easy to get caught up in what was when you’re single.  Believe me, I have done the same thing.  But, what you can’t do is romanticize a situation that was a bad one in reality a bad one. There was a reason why you broke up and you should always keep that in mind when your spirit starts floating backward in time.


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  • Two years to get all of your ish? Help me to understand why she would do that? No wonder she can’t move on she was still hanging on to a dream.

  • more

    I got my heart broken from this man i knew would never be mine! He was already living with someone else. Like an idiote i thought i was special. One year later i still think about smh!! Its sad

  • Nope

    Which oftentimes weren’t real relationships (outside of the woman’s head) to begin with.

    • Kimmi67

      Most of the time it is a real relationship but when he’s ready to move on, all of a sudden it’s in “woman’s head”

    • I’m guessing in the scenario described in this article it was a real relationship, unless you know a lot of men who would move a woman into his house that he’s just casual with . . .

  • Judith Johnson

    up to I looked at the draft which was of $6043, I did not believe that…my… mother in law was like they say truly taking home money part-time on-line.. there great aunt started doing this for less than twenty two months and resently repayed the dept on there cottage and purchased a new Volkswagen Golf GTI. go to, jump15.comCHECK IT OUT

  • I noticed that there were not many comments on this issue. Well, I will share. I was certainly in love with someone I never had. He was never my man and wasn’t even a real friend. I just let my emotions get the best of me. I wasn’t cautious. The bible says Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life. He knew I was in love with him, but he played games. I am a much smarter and intelligent woman because I made a stupid mistake. I would have had major problems had I slept with him or entered into a relationship with him.

    Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life —Proverbs 4:23