Make Him Want To Know More: Tips For A Fabulous First Date
In my opinion, first dates are for gauging chemistry, compatibility and communication. It’s understandable to want to make a good first impression, so a man or woman will probably want to pull out all the stops in order to impress their date. However, I find that little things can make or break a date, and if you neglecting to notice them will ensure that there won’t be a second one. First dates are supposed to be exciting…and maybe even magical for the both of you. When thinking of the perfect first date, consider the following tips to help get you both off to a great start.
1. Be on Time
You can’t show up late on a first date – that’s just not cool. Leave early and give yourself some time in case there’s traffic or public transportation issues. But if you ARE going to be late and can’t get around it, then call and say so. Be courteous. In a time of text messages, it may take three keystrokes to say you’ll be late, but a call is more considerate.
2. Dress Properly
Don’t be a slouch on your first date. Men: Wear socks that match and iron your shirt. We’ll notice…and we’ll talk about you later. You should smell nice too. Ladies, don’t dress too seductively and make sure it’s appropriate for the occasion or event. If you’re going to a basketball game, you’ll look silly with a tight dress on that’s hiked up your A$$. Be a lady.
3. Make Eye Contact
When you look away or focus on your date’s body while talking, you are giving the impression that either you don’t care what he or she is saying, or that you’re only interested in sex. Even if all you ARE interested in is sex, don’t be so obvious about it because it’ll only make you look thirsty and guarantee that you WON’T get any.
4. Speaking of Sex, Don’t Expect It
Assume that sex on a first date is off-limits and just relax. Sex too early in the game can actually be an obstacle later if a long term commitment is what you’re looking for. Now…about that kiss…
Follow your heart and your mutual chemistry. Times have changed in this department, and kissing on the first date no longer means you’re “easy” or is seen as the “no-no” it once was for many folks. If you enjoyed the date, felt a real spark and think there’s a chance you’ll see each other again, then go for it. A peck on the lips won’t hurt anyone.
5. Stay With Your Date
I know that sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised the stories I’ve heard. If you take your date somewhere, like a party that your friend is throwing or a family barbecue, don’t abandon him or her. Your date should feel important to you, and that’s just rude.
6. Compliment Your Date
Hopefully you and your date both made an effort to look nice and put your best foot forward for the evening, and he probably got a fresh cut and put on some shoes for the occasion. If so, you should compliment him and let him know that you like what you see. If he didn’t make an effort, or his effort was lacking, keep what you don’t like to yourself.
7. Never Cancel a First Date at the Last Minute
If you can’t give your date advanced notice, don’t cancel, don’t stand him up and don’t call him or her unless it’s an emergency. Just show up and plan to have a good time. Don’t cancel just because you got lazy and would rather watch Scandal. Put your big girl panties on and go. You don’t have to stay long if you don’t want to, so go have one drink and see what happens.
8. Avoid Rude/Crass Behavior
Be courteous to waiters or waitresses serving you or the coat check person. You can’t treat your date like a million bucks and everyone else like the bottom of your shoe. They’ll just think you’re an a$$, and they could be right. Also, don’t text or take a call while on your date. Your date should have your undivided attention.
9. Listen to Your Date
The conversation is probably the most important part of the date, because this is the only way you’ll quickly find out if you have anything in common and if you are at all compatible. But, a date is a mutual experience of talking and listening. Don’t take up all the time you have together running off at the mouth telling your date your whole life story. However…
10. You Should Be interesting
While it’s important to be yourself, it’s more important to be your best self. You are just getting to know each other and certain things are better left unsaid – for now. For example, discussing polarizing topics might not be the best thing to do on the first date because that can lead to awkward or heated debates that will just kill the entire mood. There is nothing wrong with discussing your views on the death penalty, abortion, same-sex marriage or any other hot topics – just ease into them…maybe by the third or fourth date once you’re a little more comfortable with each other. Also, leave the past in the past…again, for now. Resist the urge to entertain your date with stories of your traumatic childhood, painful divorce or crazy baby daddy. Although these subjects are part of who you are and may very well need to be discussed, this probably is not the right time.
11. Be Happy
We are naturally more attractive when we’re being positive, and no one wants to date a Debbie Downer. Now is not the time to launch into a tirade about the terrible year you had or your stupid job/boss. Find something pleasant to talk about, otherwise you’ll have him looking for the nearest exit. Keep the negative energy at home.
12. Avoid Competing With Your Date
A competitive spirit can be charming, but if you seek to beat your date at everything from sports to your education level, how much you make or to funny stories; you’re not charming, you’re just annoying.
13. Don’t Compare Your Date to Others
Don’t compare your date to other people – especially any former boyfriends or girlfriends. You may think you’re complimenting your date by saying that he’s nothing like your ex – in a good way – but he may interpret it as you not being completely over him.
14. Be Honest
Don’t promise to call your date again if you already know you never want to talk to him again. Don’t make up stories to impress him or her. Don’t say, “Let’s hook up again!” if you’re having a terrible time. Just be yourself and have fun, and keep it moving if the date isn’t going well. No need to lie. It’ll keep you both from wasting your time.