14 Behaviors Women Let Men Get Away With Too Often

March 28, 2013  |  
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Women are understanding and accommodating by nature. We evolved to be that way, as caretakers of the children. But sometimes, we get confused about our roles, and we let our men behave like children, therein cheating ourselves of someone who really fulfills the word “partner.” Here are 14 behaviors women let men get away with far too much!

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Delayed responses

He takes 24 hours to answer your text, explaining he was working all day, or running around with friends and didn’t get a second alone (if he explains at all). And you say, “That’s okay!” But…hold on. Don’t you get busy too? And yet somehow, you remember your partner is a priority and if anything, you text from the toilet to say, “Hey super busy day! I’ll give you a proper response later.” Guess what: your man visited the toilet within those 24 hours, too.

"Man texting pf"

Last minute planning

You’re forced to constantly cancel plans with friends, or even worse just leave your schedule clear, so that you’re prepared for that, “Hey, want to go out in an hour?” phone call from him. So basically, he gets to lead a totally full social life, doing whatever he wants with whoever he wants whenever he wants, because he never has to worry about scheduling around you or considering your plans. He knows you’ll just be available at the drop of a hat. And this is able to happen because you, on the other hand, have given up your own life.

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Expecting sex

You’ve been watching TV for three hours, he hasn’t said a word to you, maybe he’s been clipping his toenails or playing a game on his phone when he suddenly says, “Wanna have sex?” And while sure, you roll your eyes and playfully say, “Oh, you think it’s that easy, huh?” you do still go have sex with him at that moment, completely making null your previous comment on his lack of effort. Sure, you want to have sex. But don’t you also want to be appreciated, seduced, and attended to? Well you have to condition that kind of treatment.

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Always wanting to stay at his place

He has to get up early, or he has laundry to do, or he sleeps better in his own bed—there is always a reason for him to want to stay at his place, if he looks for that reason. But um…hello?! Is it not equally easier for you to get ready for work if you could sleep at your place? Do you not happen to sleep better in your own bed? Don’t you have laundry piling up?! Probably…so why are his needs more pressing than yours? They’re not.

"loud friends pf"

Never hanging with your friends

He’s tired, he’s been with people all week, a game is on. Similar to wanting to stay at his place, he looks for excuses to not hang with your friends, meanwhile you do not look for those same excuses to stay away from his friends—but you do have those excuses! You just don’t call on them. Now: shouldn’t getting to know the people who you love be more important to your man than taking a nap?

"Couple arguing - PF"

Failure to listen

You try to vent to him about an argument with your mom, or something stressing you at work, and he says, “Baby. I’m so stressed myself. I can’t really handle this right now.” And you accept that, simply taking your problems to your ever-attentive girlfriends. Hold Up. Would you (DO YOU?) ever turn your guy away when he needs a listening ear? Or a shoulder to cry on? You probably couldn’t fathom it. And he gets to dump his burdens on you, while avoiding any of your burdens, why exactly?

"Couple arguing pf"

Talking down to you

Men are naturally more aggressive because of their particular set of hormones. They react quickly, often like an animal, when something angers them. But men who actually put their loved ones first learn to tame their reactions. There is never an excuse for a man to swear at you, yell at you, or talk down to you. Oh and apologizing after, saying, “I lost my temper…” doesn’t make up for it. Answers should be pre-meditated for the ones we love. Not post-meditated, once the damage has been done.

"Woman on the phone in bed pf"

Forgetting your birthday/anniversary/Valentines Day

Yes he has crazy hours at work. Yes his budget is tight. Yes he’s had a lot on his mind. But, do you really think he was totally incapable of ordering some flowers online during his lunch break at work? Or even picking up a card when they were right next to the gum he buys himself every day at the drug store? You find ways to fit him in—to think about him and do things for him. Why should he be exempt from doing the same?

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Almost cheating

So he sent a woman a blatantly flirtatious text, but he never actually met up with her. So, he danced with another woman all night, saying things like, “If only I were single…” but he never kissed her. Does that really make it better? Don’t let him get away with emotional infidelity (which is exactly what that is) just because you don’t want to be alone. When it comes to cheating on any level, don’t give a man excuses.

"Drunk guy pf"

Drunken debauchery

Any time he gets drunk he gets in a fight, or gets arrested, or is uncomfortably rude to people. But you say, “Oh. He’s just drunk.” Newsflash: A person’s true character comes out when they’re drunk. You shouldn’t write off whatever a man does while drunk. You should examine it carefully.

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Mooching

Women want to be loved so badly, that we’ll practically buy it through paying for a man’s meals, giving him a place to crash, driving him around…so long as he cuddles us and spends time with us. But ask yourself this: would your man still be there if you cut him off from all the favors? Financial and otherwise? If the answer is anything less than 120% absolutely yes, then that is not love.

"Guys drinking and hanging out pf"

Misogyny in front of his friends

In front of his friends, he demands you make him a sandwich. He spanks you. He over shares things you do for him sexually. But, he’s sweet in private, right? He’s gentle when you’re alone, and would never treat you badly, right? SO WHAT? The fact that he’s willing to demean you like that in front of others means that he is willing to tarnish your reputation in order to make himself look cool. A man willing to do that does not care about you.

"Sad guy pf"

Anti-social behavior

You get him out to a friend’s party, or to an office party, and he’s silent the entire time. People ask him questions and he gives one-word answers, not engaging. He sits in the corner, drinking the free alcohol, clearly just waiting to leave. It doesn’t matter if he’s shy, tired, or “not a people person.” If he loves you, he’ll overcome all that and stop embarrassing you in front of people who matter to you.

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Asking you to change

A good partner motivates you to be a better version of yourself. He encourages you to cultivate the parts of you that really matter–like your passion, your integrity, your sense of adventure, your loyalty–but he should never insist you change things that are a fundamental part of who you are, or things that simply don’t matter like the way you dress or speak.

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  • bob

    Treat him like a child (see above suggestions) and that’s exactly what you’ll get.

  • CarlaKah

    I have dealt with everyone of these 14 things and I call them dealbreakers now. It took me 7 years to get here though, without being angry at men anymore or myself. I am 27.

  • Crossroads

    God made man and it was good………God made woman and it was excellent…… (: ……….
    The world would be a harder and more cruel place without them……..

  • Akiko

    This should be titled “14 Behaviors Women Like Me Let Men Get Away With Too Often”.

  • Akiko

    This should be titled “14 Behaviors Women Like Me Let Men Get Away With Too Often”.

  • sabrina

    OMG this was the story of my life with my ex-boyfriend. But I learned to not EVER accept this behavior again because it truly is unacceptable.

  • vanelle22

    You know I always asked myself that. If I didn’t have my own place or my own car would he want to be with me? And if I ask myself this doesn’t necessarily mean its an automatic yes. I always over analyze things because that’s just how I am.

    I had a good conversation with my friend not too long ago about my smothering my guy as far as taking care of this and that when he is short and so on and so on. She told me she was in a relationship with a female (she is gay) and how she (my friend) was paying the bills and her girlfriend was doing small jobs here and there. My friend asked herself….is this how she wants to spend the rest of her life? no. Because she knows there is more out there, and by staying in this relationship she nor her girlfriend could accomplish the things they “needed” to better themselves as individuals. So her and her girl broke up, my friend moved out of state to move in with me (she was on old roommate from college) to get a better job and now she has a good career, as far as her ex she is in school about to become a nurse.

    I think what womens biggest fear is, is that when you have a guy and you try your best to help him to get a good job and this and that. You realize that it isn’t working because he is lazy or don’t want to work. So you break up with him……and months later you find out he is working and got a new girlfriend taking care of her and bills and so forth. I know it would crush us to see something like that especially when us women try to aide our man…….but we can’t dwell on things like that because if it wasn’t meant to be it wasn’t meant to be.

    • Veronica

      @ vanelle – A real man would never let his woman carry him through life. I learned this lesson the hard way when I was dating a bum!!! I too asked the question, would he be with me if I didn’t have this or that – and to my disgust the answer was NO!!! For years I took care of him while he laid around. He always had a reason why he couldn’t work and I never could seem to get ahead even though I made good money. I came to my senses and left. Immediately my circumstances started to improve drastically but he is still the same bum.. living on welfare and all!!! The moral of this story – when you are with the right person (or in your friends case – the right situation) – YOU GROW. A man (or a woman) can totally destroy you (be it financially/time-wise- wasted years/ etc.) if you are not careful.

      • Vanelle22

        @Veronica

        I soooooo love you for this. You are absolutely right. Thank you for your insight. I had the same feeling about it all!

      • Ladybug94

        Amen, been there done that.

    • Ladybug94

      That other woman that he chose to work so hard for probably held him accountable and set boundaries of what is acceptable and what is not.