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As someone who shares the same city with an ex or two, I’ve always imagined what it would be like to bump into one on the train or at an event. But as big as NYC is, it took a couple of years before I actually ran into one of my exes.  When it finally happened, I was totally fine with it. There was no real awkward moment; we both had moved on and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.

But that may not be the case for most people who share a city with an ex. You could run into each other at a mutual friend’s party, at a concert, Starbucks – at anytime, anywhere. You could experience a full range of emotions and depending on how the breakup went down or how the other person reacts, it could be pleasant…or you could want to stab him in the eye with one of your high heels.

There are a million possibilities as to how you’ll feel, but there should be one overall way to react. If you have an ex in the city, a run-in may be inevitable – especially if you share mutual friends – so here are some Do’s and Don’ts on how to behave when you run into your ex.

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