10 Common Relationship-Based Fights And 4 Reasons Why You Need Them

March 27, 2013  |  
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Fighting is usually given a bad rep when it comes to dating and relationships. But in all relationships, there are bound to be arguments and differences of opinion from from time to time, just hopefully not too often. If you’re not convinced this is a healthy — and common — part of dating, here are 10 things every couple eventually fights over some day as well as a few good reasons why fighting is a positive part of a relationship.

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Jealousy and insecurity

Though it’s mostly women who fall into this category, men can be jealous and insecure as well. Jealousy and insecurity are two of the biggest relationship ruiners. Maybe you’re jealous of your man’s flirtatious personality. Or maybe he’s jealous that you have a close guy friend that is extremely attractive. Whatever the reasoning, it’s usually not a good one. Jealousy and insecurity can easily be fixed by remembering that your significant other is with you. No one else. And for that reason, everyone else should be jealous!

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Communication, or lack thereof

When communication in your relationship breaks down, be prepared for plenty of fights and arguments. Communication is the single most important thing in any relationship. In order for your relationship to last and be fulfilling, the two of you will need to know how to talk to each other, and communication needs to occur as much as possible. Work on becoming better communicators as well as better listeners to avoid these fights.

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Money problems

Money isn’t the basis of happiness, we all know that, but money is often a subject that couple’s will argue over at least once. You’re likely to have disagreements about how money is spent, how much money should be saved, how to be responsible with money, how much money each of you have, and so on. Money and finances overall are known to put a strain on many relationships. To help avoid this argument, talk about money and financial issues up front and make sure you’re both clear on your financial goals, wants, and needs.

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Family issues

Maybe his mom isn’t the fondest of you. Or maybe one of your sisters just really hasn’t been able to click with your man. Whatever the problem is, family issues can be fixed. But, the most important part to remember here is that the relationship is between you two. In order for the relationship to work, you’ll need to agree to the idea that nothing, not even family, will be able to tear you two apart.

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Problems in the bedroom

Sex and physicality isn’t everything in a relationship, but the two play a large role in how happy the relationship really is. You’re bound to fight about not giving it up enough, his overly-high sex drive, the never-ending excuses to not have sex, and the list goes on. Arguments and fights that stem from sex can be fixed with a heart-to-heart talk so that each of you can discuss the underlying problems.

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Priorities

Some days you just want to come home, plop on the couch, and watch tv, just like there’s days when he wants to come home, plop on the couch, and play video games. Don’t count on the idea that your priorities will mesh each and every day. Of course, there are some priorities, such as your relationship and work that should come first, but allow yourself and your man to slip once in awhile. Avoid fighting over petty things, unless his or your priorities really go out of whack.

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Trust

For many people, trust isn’t given away or easily earned. Trust is needed in order for a relationship to have a solid foundation; otherwise, without trust, the relationship is doomed to fail. Fighting about trust issues is another expected argument in almost all relationships. To combat these fights, be consist, stick to your word, and respect each other.

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Double standards

Double standards can become problematic in any relationship. Maybe he’s allowed to hang out with his friends, girl friends included, but he absolutely hates when you have a night out with all of your friends, and some of them just so happen to be male. Don’t let double standards come between the two of you. Avoid these arguments by keeping the rules the same for both of you. If there’s some hesitation or conflict with something your guy does, speak out about it.

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Household chores

When you two start to live together or if you already share a home, you know just how common arguments about chores can become. Who washes the dishes, does the laundry, sweeps, cleans the bathroom, and picks up after the dog? You sometimes find that household chores aren’t exactly 50/50, which often leads to an argument. It’s best to avoid these fights by simply having a household chore plan and sticking to it. Maybe alternate the days you do dishes and the days he does them.

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The past and baggage

Past relationships and experiences are something that can haunt anyone, including the past of your current relationship! Maybe weeks ago your man did something that really struck a nerve, or vice versa. It’s typical and common for couples to argue about the past, especially when problems are left unresolved, fights that don’t provide any answers, problems with an ex, or even past accusations. Avoid fighting about the past by realizing that the past is the past, it can be changed. Focus more on the future and let the past stay where it belongs:behind you.

Why these 10 fights are important…

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It shows that you both care

If you didn’t care about the relationship or each other, you’d more than likely never have an argument. That’s because you’d either already have broken up, or you’d be too wrapped up in someone else to even put forth the effort to argue and fight. When couples argue, it proves that they are involved in the relationship, both mentally and emotionally. Fights prove that a bond is there.

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It gives you an outlet to work out underlying problems

Sometimes normal talking just doesn’t get to the root of the problem. For some people it takes emotion to really say what they want to say. When you fight with each other, you’re usually able to pour out every little word and detail that you’ve been holding back. When a couple fights the proper way, fighting can pinpoint underlying issues that otherwise went unmentioned and untouched.

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It shows that you’re willing to make the relationship work

In a relationship, when people don’t care, they typically don’t put forth any type of effort or energy to express themselves and communicate. Though fighting and arguing isn’t the ideal way to get your thoughts and feelings across to each other, it is a viable option. When you fight, it proves that you’re willing to stick with the relationship, even through its hardships and rough days.

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Fighting makes the relationship stronger

When it comes down to it, no one really enjoys fighting. It’s time consuming and emotion-filled, but in the end it is usually able to solve a problem. When a couple fights about a certain subject or problem, it’s unlikely that they’ll fight about the same thing again. This makes the relationship a lot stronger as the two of you are able to better understand each others wants and needs.

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