Breathe, Stretch, Date: How To Manage The Stress Of Dating

March 21, 2013  |  

When you’re looking for Mr. Right and seemingly juggling several different men, it can be stressful, to say the least. To add even more stress into the equation, dating typically also involves break-ups, bad first dates, and awkward dating moments. While dating is bound to add a little bit of stress into your life, it doesn’t have to be overly troublesome. Here are some ways to manage the stress of dating.

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Don’t bite off more than you can chew

If you already have a busy schedule, don’t try to have three dates during one week. Be sure that you plan each of your dates and meetings with men carefully. With an already jam-packed schedule combined with the stress of ensuring you’re on time for each date, you’re bound to go a little bit crazy! Pick and choose your dates and schedule them accordingly. If you’re really feeling a certain guy, make sure to set up a date with him before anyone else.

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Be honest and be yourself

When dating, a lot of women like to put on a front to make themselves seem like something they aren’t. Having to go on dates with a planned facade really only makes the whole experience a lot worse. There’s nothing more stressful than lying your way through a date in order to make yourself seem more appealing or interesting. Be true and honest to you.

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Go into dates with a positive attitude

Dating can definitely knock us down a few levels, especially when dates don’t go as well as planned. Even if your dating experience so far has been so-so at best, always keep a positive attitude and outlook. Even if you don’t find Mr. Right this go-around, you will eventually, and in the end maybe you’ve made a good friend and you’re able to add more criteria to your “must haves” in a man.

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Talk about your dates

Don’t keep everything bottled up! Surely you have girlfriends that are more than willing to sit down with you and lend an ear. Talking about your dates after they happen is a good way to unwind and get an outside opinion and perspective. Friends also tend to know whether or not a guy is good for you.

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Don’t jump too far ahead

So you’ve been on a few dates with a man, and he seems to be the perfect guy for you. You find yourself mentally planning out your wedding, even though you two aren’t even exclusive yet! When you’re single and dating around, there’s no need to set timelines and expectations. Take things day-by-day and go from there.

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Keep a journal

Aside from talking to your friends about each date you go on, try keeping a journal as well. Journals are the perfect way to express your thoughts and feelings, especially if you want to keep some of them private. Write down how the date went, what you liked, didn’t like, and so on. This way you’re able to get everything out and on paper.

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Have flexible expectations

You know what you want in a guy, but when dating, you have to realize that no one is perfect. Even if one man falls short in one category, you’ll want to be flexible with the expectations that you have, instead of cutting him off and letting him go completely. Otherwise you’ll never find a man, and you’ll be stuck as a single and dating woman for a long time.

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Stay busy between dates

Usually (hopefully!) you’ll have time between dates, whether it’s a couple days or a week, doesn’t matter. The important part is that you stay busy during on the days that you don’t have dates. Go shopping, go see a movie, plan a vacation, something! Keeping yourself and your mind busy will free you from the dating stress since you’ll be preoccupied.

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Don’t let dating overtake friendships

It can be easy to get wrapped up in dating, and before you know it, your usual Friday girl’s night out has turned into a date night with a man you met online. Don’t let the dating scene ruin your relationships with friends. Even if you’re dying to find a man and get into a relationship, your friends should always be a much higher priority. There’s nothing worse than going through dating hardships and realizing that you’ve left all of your friends behind.

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Don’t forget about me time

Dating can easily take up a lot of time, and it also takes a lot of effort and energy. When you’re on the search for a guy to get serious with, be sure that you don’t lose yourself. Don’t allow yourself to get so wrapped up in the process that you completely forget to have some time for yourself. A lack of me-time will only make dating that much more stressful and consuming.

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Keep things in perspective

Dates are simply times when you get to learn about and meet someone, and from there you determine whether or not he is suitable for you or not. Pressure and stress starts to build when dating becomes much more than dinner and a movie. Don’t turn dates into high-stakes events that will either make or break you. Keep things in perspective and you’ll thank yourself later on.

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Remember the nothings

While you’re active in the dating world, remember that you have nothing to lose, nothing to regret, and nothing to provide. Dates are not job interviews, there’s no need for what ifs, and the only regret you should have is not going on a date with a prospect. With the best and the worst of dates, take everything you can out of them. There’s no need to dwell or regret nor is there reason to hold back your true personality.

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Prepare yourself for anything

While we all want to plan for the best, it’s ideal to wish for the worst as well. There’s no predicting or telling what will happen on a date, so be prepared for anything that may come your way. From awkward silences to a completely bad date, make sure you’re ready!

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Stay confident, secure, and comfortable

Dating, especially bad experiences with dating, can take a toll on your self-esteem and self-confidence. Even if a guy was completely not into you or if you were dissed in the worst way possible, don’t let it get to you and break you down! Keep your head up and make sure that your confidence and self-esteem levels remain quite high. Otherwise you’ll only be making the experience harder and more stressful.

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Don’t forget to breathe

When you’re able to date without stress and trouble, you’re able to provide a more relaxed and tranquil environment for yourself. Avoiding a lot of stress with dating involves a little bit of planning, a lot of self-esteem, and the acceptance that not every man you date is going to be your knight in shining armor. Breathe and keep yourself level-headed, and you’ll be just fine!

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