Gentlemen Uncensored, Episode 1: Why Get Married?

March 17th, 2013 - By Madame Noire

We’ve shown you a sneak peek of the series and given you the lowdown on all the fellas, now it’s time to get right into it with episode 1 of Gentlemen Uncensored. To kick things off, Chris Kazi Rolle, appropriately labeled “The Convo Starter,” kicked off the discussion asking his boys would they get married, why they would get married, and what it would take for them to get down the aisle? Check out their candid convo and let us know what you think down below.

GENTLEMEN UNCENSORED

MEET THE CAST

 

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  • Pingback: http://madamenoire.com/267453/gentlemen-uncensored-episode-1-why-get-married/ | 21st Century Black Love

  • Ladybug94

    The guy with the beer in his hands gives off the vibe that he may have a drinking problem. Seriously.

  • Jessica

    I have to be honest what is wrong with black people? Let’s get real white women give up the booty, mouth and the goodies but know in 1, 2, 3 its time to get married. White men sleep with women and play the field for a few years but realize in 1, 2, 3 its time to get married. Black men play around for decades and black women say they want a husband in their heads but are never upfront because they dont want to scare anyone. What’s wrong with running off the wrong ones by saying day one I looking towards marriage you didn’t say YOU MUST MARRY ME NOW..LOL.. Look my sister saying you are looking towards marriage is the best way to find a husband, but warning you will find the men that share your desires are older and maybe whiter but you find what wants you just as badly.

  • Laugh-Stop.Being.So.Emotional

    Simply stated this is a 5 min clip of a decent number of brothers speaking from “THEIR OWN” personal experiences and opinions. There’s nothing wrong with that. Each individual man has experiences of marriage, single life, increased temptation, or the lack of them. I respect the fact that they’ve all decided to honestly speak their minds, and give insight to why they have, would, or would not get married.

    If anyone decided to view this (again… FIVE = 5 Min clip) that portrays a “handful” of brothers as the answer to why “ALL” men may or may not get married, they were/are fooling themselves. Kazi and team put together a good crew of men for this episode. Common sense should tell us all that 6 individual men will never be able to speak up for each and every man of his own nationality. Expecting them to do so is ludicrous.

    Instead of becoming upset or being judgmental about the edited conversation, lack of desire to get married, and/or comments made, recognize the fact that not every opinion, and/or statement represents “EVERY” black male in society, nor every brother on the panel. If all you’ve taken from this (5 MIN Clip) were the last few edited sentences about Beyonce, chances are your inability to “LISTEN CLEARLY” with open ears and mind continuously prevent you from obtaining a healthy, and happy marriage of your own.

  • Proverbs31Sista

    Isaiah 4:1 – And seven women shall take hold of one man in that day, saying, “We will eat our own bread and wear our own clothes, only let us be called by your name; take away our reproach.”

  • SP08

    Men have no reason to marry when women are giving everything that is special about them away for free. They can have sex, engage you emotionally, get women to cook and take care of them and their home etc. without taking any responsibility for her or family. Even child support makes it easy for men to throw some cash at their baby’s mama and duck their responsibilities. I’m not saying women aren’t the issue here, they ARE part of the problem, for if they said “Clank Clank” on that vajayjay tomorrow and stopped allowing men to get into intimacy with them without commitment, i.e. MARRIAGE, men would fall in line and marry em. We have made ourselves to available out of desperation. Men know this, and many take advantage of this. Guard your heart ladies.

  • OhNoEZ

    These guys are sad. All over 30 ducking and dodging marriage? If this is what MEN think – as a black man – this is far from accurate. Not a very good panel selection. Sorry. but this doesn’t fly.

    • OhNoEZisSlow

      So you believe that a 5 min video and 6 men equate to all MEN… Riiiiiiight. smh lol

  • Dee

    These guys are all fairly superficial. One guy stopped dating a woman because her crib was cluttered and had VHS tapes.. SO WHAT! What if she collects old films, what if she is a hard working woman and doesn’t have time to be at home cleaning all of the time….what if you just caught her on the day her cleaning person called in sick? Then the one who says ‘”she has to make me feel like I am missing something without her”…that is the age old 80/20 rule…she can have 80% of what you want but because you are still looking for that last 20% somehow that translates into a lack of something on her part when it really means you are only looking for the next best thing? But yet women should be just fine with whatever your bringing to the table? Case in point Mr. Divorce who has an ex-wife and possibly children and child support yet he’s got an issue with your vhs tapes…REALLY!? Only one person gave some honest insight into his personality when he said that he basically loves women and loves being with a lot of them and monogamy and marriage may be a hard thing for him. COOL…at least he is honest and spoke about himself, everyone else was more into what she got, how she looks, what she working with and what she looking for, is she taking care of me? I could never have a conversation with these men. The only thing that made me shake my head in agreement is when the guy said that even a baby won’t make him marry you….so ladies…please stop having babies with men thinking this is what will keep him because really it wont. I think for the next episode they stop the drinking and start talking with a more lucid mind.

  • Pseudonym

    This video perfectly represents everything that is wrong with the black American community in regards to how we view romantic relationships and marriage. The entire focus of the discussion was what hoops a woman must jump through to get a man to marry her as if marriage were a prize for the woman who jumps the highest versus a mutually beneficial partnership between two people. Marriage is not a prize you give to someone. Getting married should be considered to be and treated as normal adult behavior and a natural life transition versus the hope diamond that one should be breaking their neck to earn. Let’s be real: marriage is not all that.

    If a man wants me to jump through some hoops for a prize, let that prize be $10 million, payment of all my student loans, a trip to Bali, etc. Being in love with a man in great. But when married, this love comes with having to put up with your b.s. during the bad times, making personal sacrifices for your benefit, being faithful to you sexually no matter how fat or bald you get, etc. THAT is not a prize, boo. THAT is a responsibility. I don’t understand why any man would have the audacity to think they can make a woman jump through hoops so that she can take on the liability that is a husband. and the crazy thing is that there are women out here trying to jump through those hoops.

    Like I said, I’ll jump through a hoop for $10 mill. But if I’m taking YOUR MOMMA to the doctor b/c you have to work and she can’t drive, that IS NOT a prize.

    • Reign

      Pseudonym: Realest thing I ever read. Thanks for your mature perspective.

      My opinion on the video…we are all selfish by nature and we want what we want, I get it. These men are no different. I just hope when it comes down to it they can be realistic, compromise, and recognize that they are not perfect nor is any woman they may seek. What is probably wrong on both the part of men and women is that many of us are looking for the wrong things and therefore ending up with the wrong people. Both genders look for money, good looks, swag, a body, and other superficial things. It’s no wonder the character, values, and commitment are not always full-proof…because you lead your search with what you want superficially instead of leading with what matters MOST. I am speaking about both black men and women here.

      I think Harold, Anthony, and possibly Chris (I have to hear more from him) sounded the most level-headed. But Chris and Harold…a word of advice…don’t have a who’s badder, Beyonce or Solange debate in the middle of the dialogue if you want us women to take you seriously. Otherwise, thanks for your honesty gentlemen. All you can do is be who you are. But I’d also ask that you remain open to constructive criticism.

      And I second the poster who said we need a series like this with 1) women only, and 2) men AND women trading thoughts. Women need to be represented in this discussion at some point.

  • hollyw

    Ok, I’mma just throw this out there; I think Madame Noire should start a Ladies: Uncensored series that would run simultaneously to this one…or perhaps an episode where women (married & unmarried) of similar esteem are invited to join in discussion. Now THAT would be interesting dialogue! Has that been done before?

    Think on it! :-D

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/PC3VICMILDFDI2RKWVJQ5ACD24 jason

    Some of these men must not have heard about all the tax benefits of being married. In the end being married brings home more money, has greater tax benefit and allows for more expensive purchases using credit…….

    • Wtf… smh

      Soooooo taxes… yeah that’s a great reason… NOT! More tax benefits while laying next to your enemy? Somebody needs a lesson that goes deeper when it comes to marriage.

  • Facts or Opinion?

    It’s sad to hear the lack of respect for marriage, and to see how a man’s ego can keep him from experiencing true love. Education, a job, a bank account with some financial flow, transportation, a place to live are all things a individual should have in the first place. The level of the above named are personal preference. These necessities are prerequisites for your own personal needs from the gate. A plus in having them should a man want to include a partner and marry. Besides the tangible items such as the degree, bank statements, car/house keys, money…what else can you provide? What makes you more important than those things you can touch or feel? What is it that makes you? What about character? Can you be honest and/or loyal? Are you easily persuaded by others opinions or can you think for yourself and not care about the criticism or backlash for your choices? Can you control urges that will prove to be unhealthy if your in a serious relationship/marriage? If you make a choice and it proves to be a bad one, are you able to take responsibility? Are you open minded or is your way of thinking always right? Where do you stand with religion/spirituality? (which the lack of it is all of our problem and how we got here in the first place).

    I could go on with the questions that really should not be gender based because they apply to us all. But since we are discussing what it takes for a man to get down the isle and the ideas are coming from a panel of men…exactly what else do you have to offer that is intangible? What would make me choose you? I mean all that other stuff means nothing if your character is questionable. What say you?

    • NurseBear

      Thank you for you thought provoking and insightful comment!

    • http://www.facebook.com/chriskrolle Chris Kazi Rolle

      Thank you for your comment! Well said. Appreciate it.

      So much questions here. We would love to have you be a part of a live event convo that we are planning. We will answer any question you want us to.

  • JessicaC

    I’d like to say YAY, this is awesome information but it’s actually POINTLESS information. When you are arrested for some offense, it makes NO sense to talk to the person who is in jail with you because he’s where you DON’T want to be. If he could help you, wouldn’t he have helped himself? If it’s women that you want/don’t want to marry, why not have a conversation with them to discuss why/why not. ALSO, these types of conversation have to be taken with a grain of salt because the misperception is that women are not given a choice to be single, they are obligated to be single because no man has come to *read dramatically* save them from the abyss of loneliness. This conversation and those like it to me are like having spaghetti the same way your whole life. Add a chicken breast and garlic bread. . .spice it up a little. #turnup

  • maggie

    Most of these men are emotionally unavailable.

    • you madd

      Thank you…..most of these men need to work on who THEY are…because they dont speak as nobodys GOOD MAN….why do they deserve a GOOD WOMAN?? you must be who and what you want to attract. You cant carry hurt, pain and insecurity into a relationship and expect it to work.

  • Tim P

    People who arent married have the most superficial comments about marriage. Its kind of disheartening, but understandable. Unmarried people should be silent, IMO humble opinion.

  • YoungCosby

    As a young Black man from New York, I can tell you that this is not how all of us act. Although I do know quite a few who act exactly like this, this cannot be said for all of us. The problem is these videos area product of casting just like any other show. So people are picked based on the message and images the creators want to portray. Anyone that doesn’t fall within that model will be chucked to the side like firewood.

    I also hate the fact that because of videos like this,all Black men get lumped up into one big cesspool and has the women of the world thinking that all Black men are like this. They all pretty much look and sound the same, all the different types of Black men aren’t represented. Where are the Christian men? Or the nerd Black men? Or just the plain down to earth Black man? Or the socially conscience Black man?

    I’m pretty sure that this cast was chosen bywomen, and the fact that I see more complaints than compliments on thisvideo shows that there are still women out there that make bad choices when it comes to men, no matter what it comes to. But, if it’s a man doing the casting, your judgement in character is to be questioned.

    • KamJos

      You start out good, then break down in your last paragraph. You state that you are disappointed yourself with the casting choices in the video, yet you also state tht the fact that women are complaing about the video (as you are yourself) means that women still make bad choices. Or are you trying to say that because you believe women cast this video that women make bad choices in men? (Although the dissent in the comments would give evidence that’s not true).

      • YoungCosby

        I see the confusion, I guess what I was trying to states that the choices that women make can be reflected in the casting of the males in this video, not by the women who are complaining in the comments.

        • KamJos

          Ok, but there will always be humans who make bad choices. It’s not exclusively a male or female thing. I hope you weren’t trying to say that it was.

          • YoungCosby

            Yeah, you’re absolutely right. We are all susceptible to our own weaknesses which lead us into making bad decisions. But, let’s keep it subjective. We have a discussion entitled, “Why get married?” The men who were chosen were either picked by a man or woman casting agent, or person who is the head of media for Madame Noire. What I was pointing to is that the casting, if done by a woman shows that there are women who say that they want this, but go for that or they are trying to show that these men are the cream of the crop because they “have their stuff together” and if the casting was done by a man picked men who are probably too close to their own personality, or doesn’t have a great judge of character to spot your “average dude” that most women aren’t trying to give the time of day. Just look at the comments from the women on this video, about 90% of them said that they would never deal with dudes like the ones in the video.

            Reason being is because they didn’t address the question at hand, it was more of a “I’m so amazing, and this is what these chics need to do to possibly get me to pop the question which is gonna be the luckiest day of their life because I’m that amazing.” Not one of these guys said get married because if you find a woman who is good to you, and will take care of you when your up, or down, or sick, or in trouble, she’s worth keeping. Get married because she’s a compliment to your life. Get married because men who are married live longer than men who aren’t. Get married because people who are married make more money than people who are not (approximately 90% of millionaires in the US are married.) Get married because you truly love this woman and she has proven herself to be in love with you, demonstrates it everyday in a variety of ways, she wants the best for you, will encourage and help you through all of your endeavors, will be faithful and loyal to you, and be your best friend.

            I wanted to say that initially with out typing a dam thesis, but I guess I had too lol.

            • KamJos

              Chris Kazi Rolle has stated that he was the one who chose the men, to answer your question. So not a woman this time.

    • hollyw

      Fyi hun, I think these men were chosen by @facebook-100002631366690:disqus, the Convo Starter..(he’s a man)?

    • http://www.facebook.com/chriskrolle Chris Kazi Rolle

      Young Cosby. Thanks for your comments. I am Chris Kazi Rolle. To answer your question, I collaborated with a group of women to chose the panel. I have read your comments and respect your views. Your entitled to your perspective.

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