He Loves Me…He Loves Me Not: 9 Signs You’re His Back Up Chick!

March 17, 2013  |  

Ladies, at one point or another, we’ve all had that “back up guy” on deck in case we needed a quick date or some male company. You know the type: he’s more than a friend but nowhere near anyone we claim as our man. But have you ever wondered if you were someone else’s back up chick? In matters of the heart, lines can get blurred and many things can get lost in translation when you’re ignoring signs or being deceived, so here are some ways to tell if the guy you’re into is into you back, or if you’re simply his back up chick.

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  • Eri Cad

    I know this directed towards women seeking a relationship with one man specifically but I couldn’t help but think what if all these “signs” apply but your doing the same to him? Maybe that’s where we go wrong we make “him” a priority when he ought to be an “option.” I’m not suggesting game playing, tit for tat. I’m suggesting maybe you just don’t put all your eggs in that basket. Doesn’t return your call, call up another guy or meet a new one or kick it with your girls. He says your perfect FOR someone else? Well, duh honey! C’mon I read MadameNoire. I read the comments there are some BAAAAAAAAAAAAADDD B*****S up in here. 🙂 Friends with Benefits? If that works for you protect yourself and get in the game, if not that’s cool too. I feel like this if he’s fun to hangout with and he makes you laugh great go out with him, go out and enjoy yourself just because he’s not the guy for you doesn’t mean he can’t lead you to someone who is.

  • Torridelle

    I can’t believe I wasted time reading this shiz. These things are an obvious duhhhhh unless you’re like a 14 year old naive girl. Slow news day?

    • Jackson

      What would yours be?

  • On_Point

    somebody ought to send this to emily b from love and hip hop

  • Rose

    REAL women stand up!! I don blame these men.. if you come to me
    sexually from the jump..too easy..if i was a man i would be wondering if
    any man can get on it that easy…sex aint never kept a man ..they can
    get that anywhere and anytime!


    that’s all serious dating. Millions of members with good economic

    condition and high quality. Someone suitable is here waiting for u.

  • Dayis

    You definitely need a list on “How to put a woman, in the friendzone” I have been trying to figure this out for last four months

    • you madd

      Oh really…..Do I know you??? That name sounds familiar. lmaooo

      • Dayis

        Been trying to safely keep a good long friendship even though i know she wants to move forward. I am trying to not be a negative in her life because a lot is going on with her.

  • j a sassy aka salon22w

    Some of these women are just plain stupid..especially ww, they think doing whatever a man wants sexually will win him over… uh NO..are they stupid enough to think he hasnt had all that from other women.. you gotta be the whole package and more..halfthese women cant even cook, they are not clean.., dont know how to clean,, too much into their fake a– looks.. no wonder that man hits and moves on.. REAL women stand up!! I don blame these men.. if you come to me sexually from the jump..too easy..if i was a man i would be wondering if any man can get on it that easy…sex aint never kept a man ..they can get that anywhere and anytime!

  • GalaxyEmpress

    Truth, these men are something else, complete a**holes with their shenanigans.

  • iHM

    Well that sounds more like a “friends with benefits” relationship than being a back up chick. It’s not his fault if the woman perceives it to be something other than what it is. Those aren’t “signs”, those are actual elements of the relationship itself that tell what the relationship is.. not secrets to be picked up on.

    • you madd

      I get it too NOW that I have been thru people treating me like half the list…HOWEVER when you are truly in LOVE/Lust with a man who is saying this that and the third, not to mention has the body of a GOD! Sheesh!! (Excuse me) lol Then its hard not to give in when he pulls those tricks and really feel like you have a chance especially if youre getting a little bit of his time…In retrospect it is wrong and a waste of time. But when you are in it, its hard to see the forest thru the sleeze. *sigh*…that body…lol Welp. Moving on! Its good to see lists like this to know when we have done this and never do it again.

      • sabrina

        LMAOOOOOO this cracked me up. Eff him and his hot bod!! haha

  • Honeybee703

    this article was perfect timing for me! We were talking perfectly fine for some time then i told him i was celibate & he was cool…until he found someone else. they dated for 2 years (i think) then had a bad break up & he randomly text me. We began our friendship again & now his ex is slowly coming back into his life so the text messages started slowing down & when i would call, i would get the two-rings-then-voicemail (bc he would hang up) smh

  • Jazmin

    For a minute I thought this was sound advice until I realized who the source was! How can you possibly write this article knowing what’s going on in your own home? The blind leading the blind!

    • courtney

      Um, do you know the author personally? You sound crazy.

    • Dee

      How do you know what’s going on in anyone’s home? Sounds like you might be a backup chick yourself and you just mad about it. It was very sound advice, you should take it.


    I think I read this before. Anywho, I was introduced to his friends and family, slept over yadadad….and still felt like a back up chick. He had a 8 yr relation$hit with his ex….who couldn’t let go and he didn’t know how to keep away. Men do not know what they want or what’s good for them. Do not put up!!

    • you madd

      WHY ARE YOU IN MY HEAD TODAY lol….this EXACT thing happened to me…I was still the backup chick as well after his EX who knew i was the new girlfriend stalked us, showed up at his house all the time. He eventually left me for her because even though I was in his life, in his heart i was still the backup. So ladies even if a man CLAIMS you, and all the above is done…you can still be a backup chick. It isnt always blatant disrespect like MN listed. It can be from your OWN boyfriend.

      • Truth is

        What a world. It sucks balls…..and men wonder why AMA the biggest skeptic and isn’t naive….I refuse. Nothing dries up my panties like an unstable man