14 Times It’s Perfectly Okay To Play Games In A Relationship
Men are creatures of action more than of words. Sometimes to get a man to do what you want, you need to give him something to react to. You need to do something that will kick his butt into motion. And hey, men already like sports. So why not play a little game sometimes in love?
When he’s failing to plan
After you’re together for a while, your man can start to think it’s a given that you’ll be available to him whenever he wants. You stop getting the, “What are you doing next Monday?” texts and start getting the, “Wanna come over in an hour?” texts. When this happens, book up your calendar. Make yourself unavailable. When he realizes you can’t just come over in an hour, he’ll be forced to actually plan—pick out a date, and ask you in advance—and he’ll realize that your time is precious.
When all he wants to do is stay in
All your man ever wants to do is stay in and watch TV. You can’t convince him that all the activities you want to do, he would enjoy. So show him. Without telling him in advance, just start walking out the door saying, “I’m going to that show with my friend. I’ll be back late.” Go do the fun stuff you asked him to do, with somebody else. He wants your time. This will start to teach him that if he wants it, he’s going to have to do what you want to do. Because otherwise, you’re happy to just leave and do it with someone else.
When he hasn’t been listening
He clearly hasn’t been listening lately when you tell him about your day, or your problems. So try this: silence. Be very short with him (as he has been with you) when he tells you something. Beyond that, don’t be the one trying to start conversations. Read your book. Watch your show. Be indifferent. He’ll quickly realize you’re talking was better than your silence and say, “You’re acting weird…” which is when you can say “Well, you’ve just seemed so distracted lately, I didn’t want to burden you.” (Which is a backhanded way of saying, “You’ve done a terrible job at handling my issues and listening to me” and men love a challenge).
When he won’t hang with your friends
He just wants to be with his friends, alone, and for you to go be with your friends, alone. He doesn’t want any mingling of the groups. Too bad! Figure out a sly way to have all your cute, charming female friends and his male friends all in the same place just once. Some flirtations/love connections will be made. Your guy’s friends will be asking him to put the groups together again, and then he’ll be the damper if he doesn’t let everyone get together! And he’ll realize you were right all along: your friends are fun (for his friends, at least).
When he’s failing to initiate sex
You usually get in bed and wait for him to make a move. He doesn’t, so you slowly start making little moves. He accepts it, but doesn’t meet you half way. And somehow, you end up doing all the work again. Stop that! For as long as it takes, you will now be getting in bed, immediately turning off the lamp, rolling over and saying, “Goodnight!” He’s become spoiled. He assumes you’ll do all the work. After a few nights of not getting any, he’ll realize he has to seduce you.
When he’s failing to entertain you
This one only works if your guy has roommates, or friendly neighbors. But if all he does is play video games when you’re over and doesn’t even attempt to entertain you, go talk to his roommates or neighbors! Don’t even say you’re going to do it. Just get up, leave the room, and go socialize. He wants you there with him. He’s just started to get used to being able to do whatever he wants, and have you sitting there watching. Nuh-uh. Show him that you go where the fun is, and where the conversation is. And he better provide that if he wants to hang with you.
When he’s being cranky
Kill him with kindness. Surprise him at work with lunch. Book him a massage. Being super sweet to someone who is being super moody is like dumping water on a fire. He can’t keep flaming on, when he is so clearly a jerk at that point if he does
When he’s too critical
So your guy is too critical. He’s not just helpful—he’s pushing it. He says you need to work on public speaking, or learning how to do more handy work around the house. Okay. Guess what? All the nights he would have had with you were just filled up with public speaking and home economic classes. Isn’t that what he wanted? He’ll quickly realize he was actually really happy with you just the way you were! Certainly happier than when he doesn’t get to see you at all.
When he’s stopped adoring you
You know he loves you, but he’s stopped showing it. He’s stopped paying you compliments, he’s stopped bragging about you, he’s stopped giving you much affection. Invite over the couple you’re friends with who constantly adore each other—the ones who have nothing but kind words to say to and about each other. Being around this type of couple always makes a man realize, “Uh oh…my girlfriend is seeing this…and comparing us to them…and I might lose her if I don’t up my game!”
When he’s not spending time with your family
He always has some excuse: he’s too busy, he’s too tired etc. Step it up with his family. If they need help cleaning out the garage, be there. If one of them needs a ride to a doctor’s appointment, do it. Your guy can’t help but love that you’re there for the people he loves, and then he’ll realize his excuses to not do the same for you are petty.
When he’s being selfish
Sometimes guys can get a little self-involved (and lazy). They come up with excuses not to help out with things. Or they get so caught up in their own troubles, they say they’re too busy or overwhelmed for anyone else’s. Try this: help someone who he should have helped, like a friend of his who needs help moving, or a family member who needs consoling. He will feel so ashamed that his girlfriend had to step in for him, it will really put his selfishness into perspective.
When he’s taking things out on you
He’s had a rough day, or rough month, and now you’re the one getting the brunt of it. He talks to you like you’re an added burden. Try this: just leave. Yup. Say, “I’ll come back when you’re in a better mood.” He’ll quickly see that while he drove you off, he doesn’t actually want to be alone! Make him realize that while he’s treating you like a burden, he simultaneously needs you there, so he better find a more positive or constructive way to keep you there.
When he’s stopped noticing all the great things you do
He’s stopped coming to your dance performances, stopped listening to your podcast or whatever it is you do. Next time you’re around his friends, tell them all about your hobby/passion. You can guarantee they’ll make a comment to him that goes something like, “Dude. You never told us your girlfriend makes short films. Why don’t we ever go see some of them??” And he’ll feel embarrassed that his buddies are being more supportive of you than he is. He’ll feel like they’re taking over his job!
When he makes you feel high maintenance
When he rushes you to get ready, and doesn’t appreciate what you look like, make him wish he’d never done that. Make tons of plans to go out with other people—friends, family, social clubs. And look really good for them. He’ll feel jealous that he doesn’t get to go out with that on his arm. And he’ll think twice next time he’s making you feel bad for spending an hour on your hair.