Jada Pinkett Asks Why Heterosexual Women Are Choosing To Be With Other Women As A Last Resort?

72 comments
March 8, 2013 ‐ By
Source: Facebook

Source: Facebook

I wonder if Jada Pinkett knew the firestorm she was going to set off when she posted a rather interesting and controversial question (along with the image above) on her Facebook page earlier this week. Concerned about the state of relationships between men and women, and about the intimacy choices of a few women around her, Jada questioned why women are seemingly choosing to be with women romantically in response to negative experiences with men. Rather than editorialize and run the risk of misconstruing whatever insight she was trying to gain, let me simply  lay her question out the same way she did.

Before I begin…I want to make one thing clear. It’s important that you know that I believe love comes in ALL forms. I believe a person should love WHOMEVER…HOWEVER they choose. But…I do have a question.

In the last month, three women, in their 40s, coming out of long term relationships with men have confided in me that they now feel that their last resort for companionship is that with a woman. These are women who have never engaged in or even desired to be in intimate relationships with other women. Now these women feel as though they have no other option. It seems as if there is a spike in same sex love all around. What is changing in which how men and women are relating to one another, that is creating same sex love as a LAST RESORT for heterosexual women?

You…tell…me.
J

Well, what do you think? And have you noticed this “trend”?

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  • shame on you

    100% AGREEMENT…

  • shame on you

    Jada…where is Will these day’s and how is it that a married women of 16 or more years have an answer to that with out experience or so…four years i’ve about an open marriage…Jada are you trying to tell us…????

  • http://shockya.com/ Monique Jones

    I haven’t seen this trend around my parts, but I’ve heard of it before. I’m not surprised.

  • Senait Ashenafi

    I”m pretty much done with black men, but women will never be an option. A woman could never give me the kind of love I was searching for. It’s better to be alone than to settle for something that you don’t really want.

  • QueenOfLife

    I think some woman are tired of certain personal issues they’ve had with men (i.e cheating, lying) and feel that maybe a woman can relate and empathize with them more. Im not really sure. Maybe it is for the sake of trying something new, who knows. As long as your happy *shrug*

  • NiHi

    Jada needs to ask why her son was in a club with Justin Bieber instead of at home in the bed? She has some business and gay women isn’t it and NO I am not gay.

  • IllyPhilly

    Who gives a sh!t how these grown men and women find happiness. No kids, no animals involved. Let them be.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003505135257 Ramone DeCurta

    This is the credited response!!!! TITCR!!!!

  • chanela

    NOT THE Y!! LMAOOO thats a good one!!

  • Kahekili

    A woman who chooses to be with another woman is not heterosexual.

  • texastea

    JUst do what all the brothers are doing and learn to date outside of your race. Open your minds. More black women are completing college and maintaining her paying professional jobs so you are more apt to come in contact with different races of men. Give them a chance; give men that come from stable and solid family backgrounds where they were raised by men who know how to build and protect and respect their legacy a chance and let go of your thug love fantasies.

    • QueenOfLife

      Thugs arent the only ones who cheat. Plenty of white collar, 2 parent having men cheat also. I dont disagree with dating all races, but men are men no matter what race he is.

  • texastea

    “Until you find peace within yourself just stay BY yourself.” I mo use that.

  • soulsis

    I would rather gnaw off my foot.

    • shame on you

      HAHAHA….eat my sister bad azz cooking…i feel you…

  • anon

    I would ‘assume’ that the women in reference probably have more options than most of us out here never married and still looking, yet are a bit delusional and probably a bit too elitist in their criteria for male companionship. Perhaps, even, they have some type of reputation that is working against them in finding a male mate.

    Jade only offers a nuance of one angle of the total picture, and is likely biased in her own beliefs/perspective in relaying the disposition of these women

  • E.

    I’m so in love with Jada for this. It’s just brings a healthy dialogue to the issue. I too have heard and seen this since high school but I never hear people talk about it. It took me a while but I have finally learned to love myself and enjoy my own company after numerous of bad relationships with men. And although I haven’t met my man yet. I know he’s coming and until then I just continue loving, living (not waiting) and learning. I believe God is preparing me for something (or someone) Great. I encourage all of you to do the same. I refuse to settle for anything less than my best:-)

  • C J

    cornROWS

    • Nikkita Michelle

      Thanks for the correction CJ. Rofl!

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

    this only happens when finding a man and not being able to find one consumes you to the point where it drives you crazy and takes up most of your time. There is a difference in being alone and lonely. There is nothing wrong with wanting a man in a healthy way, but when it crosses over to loneliness and just being plain pathetic, is when you should step back and evaluate where your priorities are.

    • texastea

      You just have to formulate more realistic expectations of today’s black man. More often than not (but not in very single case), a black man is only good for sex. The stats say that you will be more educated than he is, you will make more money, you will know how to manage money better, etc. He will never be able to take care of you and never be faithful to you. Just have fun with him, laugh, joke, go to the movies (ain’t like he gonna be able to afford to take you to Paris) and get some D. And make sure he’s got a good one and knows how to use it!

  • SheBe

    I like peni$. Like, I love it! I too have peeped this “fad” that some hetero’s have turned homosexuality into.

    • texastea

      “Some?” you mean a lot! And the real g a y community won’t stand up and challenge the trivialization of their struggles. They feel they have the wind at their backs now.

  • Bren

    There are also masculine lesbians and feminine lesbians. Same drama, same package.

    • Dichu eba realy lub mehSteebie

      thank you. And wither way that mother nature is beeyatch

    • Kam

      If you think what she said is a game, please see the Chamique Holsclaw drama that is threatening her with 60 plus years in prison.

  • Guest360

    I get what she’s saying because I’ve heard a few women with “questionable” logic as to why they were in romantic relationships with other women. It wasn’t because they were lesbians or just fell in love with someone who happened to be of the same sex. It’s because she was “through with men” or “didn’t want to be bothered trying to find a good man among frogs”. WHAT?!!! I get sexuality is a fluid and sometimes complex thing but I take great offense to women using other women as a last resort while there are actual gays/lesbians fighting for the right to just love who they love without people getting in their business. It’s a tad bit disrespectful imo to pick and choose when you want to be in the gay community and when you don’t. Get your entire life and go find a good therapist and stop playing around with people’s emotions just because you’ve been hurt.

  • Namaste

    Hmmm I have been looking for comments relevant to the spiritual self and I don’t see any. I chose a path of self realization and spiritual development in my abstinence. I see everything in life having a purpose. I am never bored because I am not boring. I am not lonely because I enjoy my own company. I love men but I am not prepared to settle, NOW is all we have, I don’t think ‘oh suppose I never have a relationship again. I am content NOW because I love myself. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring except I will still love men and I won’t compromise my choices. I am totally and unconditionally accepting of life style choices this happens to be mine. Namaste

    • shame on you

      sound like you….”FOUND” the one thing ”EVERYONE” look’s for [in the wrong place] is YOURSELF….

  • Meka X

    I know someone who said that she turned to women because the guy she loved broke her heart.

  • Anonymous #51

    I’ve noticed it too. And I’m lonely and errythang (haven’t had a boyfriend in ten years) but I REFUSE to do it.

    • Dichu eba realy lub mehSteebie

      10 years???? Girl how do you deal???

    • Amija James

      Dayum! 10 years? I’ve been celibate for 2, almost 3 years and I’m starting to lose it little by little! ROFL No, I’d rather be single than to have a loser as a man and I’d def be single before effing with with a broad.

    • Stanley 001

      10 years and counting? WOW!

  • Sagittarius81

    I have a friend who is married to a man for 10 yearsand she also has a live-in girlfriend and she told me that her husband won’t work and provide for their 4 kids but her girlfriend works and helps pay the bills and keeps the house clean and how much she loves her over her hubby. I asked her why doesn’t she get a divorce from her husband and she said divorce is not an option to her and her husband, until he dies first. Me personally, I love men and I don’t want to be with someone with the same s3x organ as me.

  • Yay!

    All the commenters quoting loneliness are dead on. People are not islands and from the beginning of time people have made relationship arraignments for those reasons. However, I don’t think its right to count lonely or desperate people into to the LGBT community just because they are “choosing” to be gay. Along with whatever perks they see in being gay, are these “gay for play” willing to withstand all the challenges that the LGBT community go through? I think not. Plus, most LGBT will tell you the drama gets no better on the other side. Folks need to get a grip. There is no easy way to love.

    • chanela

      right! if anything i’ve noticed that lesbians go through TONS of arguing and jealousy and it’s a hot mess! worse than heterosexuals.lol i’ve heard women get HIGHLY upset at thinking their woman flirted with another woman simply by saying hi. wondering what they were doing in the women’s restroom that took so long. smh

    • kierah

      “There is no easy way to love.” —WORD!! Jumping from frying pan to fire ain’t never helped anyone.

  • Babydoll 70

    I don’t know of any woman doing this and I highly doubt Jada cares about the firestorm anything she says causes.

    • MLS2698

      I want to know where she got that pic from, and is she just asking a question, or promoting it on the sly? Hmmmmm

      • kds0116

        IKR. My first reaction, especially since I have my own thoughts about her and Will

  • MLS2698

    Ain’t that much loneliness in the world. Plus, a woman has nothing I need. Seriously, that whole pulling something out of the drawer act sounds confusing; you don’t want a phallus, but choose to buy a fake one to compensate. And I won’t lie, before I go there, I will run through about 1000 men……as many as I can handle.

    • SunshineBlossom

      I’m dead at your last statement!!! Lmao! I would probably do the same as well, I’m sorry, but there is nothing like the feeling of a good man (whatever that means).

      • shame on you

        AND YOU EYE’S TO ROLLLLL….BACK IN YOUR HEAD…you feel me

        • SunshineBlossom

          Yes girl!!!! *waves hand*

    • TK

      “Seriously, that whole pulling something out of the drawer act sounds confusing; you don’t want a phallus, but choose to buy a fake one to compensate”

      I don’t think it’s about wanting a fake “phallus”, rather it’s about wanting an instrument that stimulates the vagina, that isn’t attached to a gender you’re not attracted to. Heterosexists should get over their phallus worship. It’s misogynistic in nature.

      • MLS2698

        Yeah, well I don’t worship a phallus, but anatomically, it works for me ( when not celibate)! Laws of nature dictate which ” instrument ” is used. And yes, as CHANELA said, according to my human sexuality book, a large percentage of women don’t climax from only vaginal stimulation.

        • shame on you

          ‘WRONG’

    • shame on you

      i have never understand the need for a fake ”D*CK”

  • bluekissess

    Yes, I agree & this has been a trend since I’ve been in high school.

  • TRUTH IS

    Huh?! I want to hear what she got re. Will and Duane vacationing in Brazil for their carnival!?

    • bluekissess

      What point are you actually making? Kim and Kanye was there for the carnival as well. Let’s not start accusing that someone is gay.

      • TRUTH IS

        Word on the street is Will Smith is gay…..take your head out of the sand!!! Kim and Ye was there as a couple….deedeedee

        • Amija James

          I saw a pic of him and Jada and he had his legs crossed looking sweet as sugar and she had hers cocked open looking like a die hard d yke.

          • kds0116

            You know I was gonna go there, but I didn’t want the backlash that I knew would come with it. I’m so glad you obliged.

          • Amija James

            And guest, I apologize if you are a d yke. That’s the word I chose to use because I’m grown. I’m just glad this it the internet and you and your d yke b itch kind can’t get me.

            • Dichu eba realy lub mehSteebie

              Well that wasn’t nice….

          • shame on you

            the truth alway’s comes out…watch and see..

        • bluekissess

          And what street you live on again?

        • texastea

          Chile, I tried to tell bluekissess this. I don’t know where he/she been. The word has been around about Will Smith for decades now. I mean there was a recently pic released on the internet that showed Will & Duane out on the balcony of their hotel right above the room where couple Kim K. Kanye W. was staying. Kanye & Kim were looking up at Will & Duane. People just gon have to accept the fact that men can be bi. just like all of these women now are claiming to be bi. Why it can work for one and not the other is beyond me.

        • shame on you

          it’s jada who ”GAY”

      • texastea

        Girl, you see that boo-tay Will got! You know somebody ridin that thang!

        • bluekissess

          Comments like these make me dislike black people even more (and I’m black) I’ll let y’all be niqqas. Smh

          • texastea

            What comment makes you dislike black people even more?

            • bluekissess

              I’m just tired of the accusations. A rich black man can’t enjoy vacation with his friend and now that’s considered a crime? It’s sad and ridiculous

              • texastea

                Yeah, but these rumors have been around about the two of them years prior to this vacation. The Duane & Will story goes waaayyyy back. And come on, Jada is always out there putting out a bunch of innuendo about how open and freaky their sex lives are. If it’s okay for her to be talking about women-with-women, what makes you think her man wouldn’t be open to the idea of a man and another man together? He just keeps it on the low because he knows that society more openly accepts depictions of female bi-sexuality than it does for men. Child, I just got finished watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta: those women were in an all female-dancer strip club in Vegas drooping dollars on the female strippers, talking bout how pretty a chick shaved her cootie-kat. Plus Will is the one making all of the money with his movie career. He wouldn’t want to be denied roles because producers and female co-stars might be uncomfortable with the idea that he eats boy-booty and drinks gent-juice. But I ain’t mad at him. That’s society’s fault. Will is doing what he got to do and apparently both Jada & Duane are enjoying it.

                • bluekissess

                  I have bigger fish to fry than to worry about who’s with who. I most definitely don’t buy into rumos. So, ill let y’all niqqas be niqqas and analyze a picture or a rumor. Smh

                • Senait Ashenafi

                  You should stop idolizing these wicked people. They’re sick. They are both headed for eternal damnation.

              • kierah

                How many married family men go on vacay with a friend – not a group trip with a bunch of their boys, but a trip with another male family man? I don’t care how rich the men are. That behavior is out of the norm.

              • Senait Ashenafi

                I don’t know where you’re from, but where I”m from straight men don’t go on vacations together, especially not somewhere romantic like Brazil.I mean what’s the purpose of two men hanging out on a romantic balcony with each other in paradise? They didn’t go all that way to play pool.

  • Amija James

    Seems to me they’re just doing it so they won’t be by themselves.

    • TRUTH IS

      Agree…afraid of lonely….I rather be by myself…I came into this world by myself….too much emotions and hormones under one house….no tonks

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