Third- Party Action: The Benefits of Couples Counseling Before Saying “I Do”

March 9, 2013  |  

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2. Determine Your Plans For the Future

Once you’ve determined that you like the same things (and each other), now you need to determine if you want the same things for the future. Just because you get along doesn’t mean you have the same five year plan as your partner; a therapist can help you both see if your plans are in alignment. Sure, you both like children, but do you both want to have them and raise them? If so, will religion play a factor? Do you both want to get married one day? Live in a different city? These are all things that you both should be on the same page with if you plan on having a long term relationship. If one of you has a different idea for your joint futures, then discovering this in counseling early on can help you figure out a plan that works for both of you or help you decide if this is the right relationship for you.

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  • Annie

    I’m 41 years old and my husband has recently told me that he wanted out of the marriage and he actually left a few days later, after 21 years of marriage…
    …After the initial shock wore off and I was able to think straight…

    …I was able to persuade him to give me and the marriage another chance…
    …I had to wing it with only the strategies in the “save the marriage” book

  • Jazmine

    Most couples only think counseling is for AFTER the marriage, not before…because they think if they need counseling before the marriage, then they shouldn’t be getting married. Which MAY BE TRUE!! We would probably have a lower divorce rate if people did this. Good advice

  • Nikki

    Where I live, the marriage license fee is $30 more if you don’t go to pre-marital counseling. I think it’s a great way to discuss topics that make you uncomfortable, such as finances or grounds for divorce-if any. The marriage counselor might bring up something that you may have forgotten to talk about, like TV or no TV in the bedroom.