Can I Get A Hook-Up? How To Flirt At Church

March 6, 2013  |  
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While you shouldn’t be going to church with the intent to find a man, you’d be hard pressed to find someone who’d argue that you can’t meet somebody in a house of worship. It can be done. In fact, it happens all of the time. The thing is, you can’t use the same flirting techniques you use at the club at church. You must modify it if you want to have some level of success. So, if a fellow church member has caught your eye, here are a few tips about how you should go about getting his attention

Source: Thinkstock

Subtly is key

You don’t want to be perceived as one of those women who would never set foot in a church unless it was to attract a man. So, once you’ve spotted your new boo thang, you have to play it cool. No catching the spirit and “accidentally” passing out in his lap. No throwing your breasts on him when he offers to let you look over his shoulder as they’re reading scripture. You have to keep it cute and find less obvious ways to express your interest.

Don’t Do it During Service

If you’re serious about church, then you won’t be doing the absolute most during the sermon. After all, this is a time for you to be analyzing yourself and making improvements. It’s not a time to mack. There’s something a little sleazy about a thirsty woman on man in the pew. Don’t be that woman. If you want to flirt. Make sure you get there early to chit chat. Or stay late. Talking during the actual sermon is not only tacky, it’s distracting and disrespectful to the people around you. And you’ll quickly become known as the loose booty woman in the congregation.

Source: Thinkstock

Let the old folks hook you up

If you want the skinny on the eligible men in the congregation, have a quick convo with the elder women in the church. They know who’s single, who’s married, who’s a player and who’s is just no good. If you’re looking to get the lowdown on the man you’ve had your eye on, these ladies will be able to tell you whether he’s worth your time.

Source: Shutterstock

Bible Study

Bible study is a little more flexible. It’s a time for you to communicate and ask questions about the word you’re studying. So you can lean over and ask him a question or two before you get back to focusing. Afterward you can ask him whether he learned anything etc.

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Choose the right seat

While you don’t want to do the absolute most, you want to be sure to sit in a place where your crush can see you in case he wants to say hey before service starts or if he wants to tell you to have a blessed week at the end. So no sitting in the back or in a random corner. You shouldn’t be back there anyway, unless you’re one who’s consistently tip-toeing’ in late.


Don’t wear tight clothing

I’m mentioning subtly more than once because I’ve seen far too many women succumb to the thirst. So you need to keep it classy when it comes to your clothes. There’s nothing more obvious and more thirsty than a woman whose skirt is so tight you can see the imprint of her thong or a blouse that exposes a mile of cleavage. It’ll attract attention; but it’ll ultimately result in the church player approaching you with the same game he’s been running for the past 15 years.

Source: Shutterstock

Come alone

Not that church is like a club…in that many ways. But human nature rarely changes along with the venue. Just as men are hesitant to approach when you’re with a group of your girlfriends, the same applies when you’re in church. It’s kind of hard for a man to push up on you if your mother, sister, father and grandmother are circled around you.


Ask him what he thought about the sermon

Once the sermon’s over, a nice, thoughtful way to strike up conversation is to ask what he thought about the sermon after service is over. It’s a nice way to get a peek at who he is and where his head is at.

Don’t Do Too Much Too Soon

Once you’re in there, you’ve gone a couple of dates and what not and you’ve decided that you like homeboy, don’t start doing the absolute most. No nudey cell phone pics. No busting it open with a quickness. Just because he doesn’t refuse, doesn’t mean he is not judging you based on this behavior. And just because you met him at church doesn’t mean he’s an upstanding type of dude. Those pics that you thought were for his eyes only might be passed around the whole choir stand. Be careful.

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  • I want to say wow …. but shockingly people do find love in church. Head over to Essence and read some of their “Just Engaged” or “Married” and 70% percent of their couples met in church.

    While you shouldn’t go to church on with the sole intention of “finding a man” it wouldn’t hurt to look or have someone find you. Honestly…. it’s better than finding a man at a bar.

  • Pingback: 9 Ways You Can Get Your Flirt On In Church Without Looking So Obvious! « Unveil'D Gossip: Gossip'N My Way()

  • OneToy


  • Babydoll 70

    Too much flirting going on already if you ask me. That’s probably why most folk misquote scriptures, they are too busy flossing and glossing in the pews instead of paying attention and studying the word, can’t even find the book of Genesis.

  • Kahekili

    What man is a Black woman going to meet in church when most of those churches are filled with other women?

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    • Babydoll 70

      Any time is the best time to get life insurance. Well if you’re under 70.

  • Pingback: Can I Get A Hook-Up? How To Flirt At Church | Madame Noire … : Best Dating Tips Online()

  • Stanley 001


  • MsLadyE

    Asking the elder women at church is an excellent idea. Besides giving you information about the man you’re interested in, they can also give you great relationship advice.

    • Babydoll 70

      Some elderly women are the most gossiping hens there are. I would not put them in my business.

  • NO MAM…

    I just think this is a crazy list…i mean We might ALL see someone curte at church but use your common sense like any scenario. I honestly try not to date at my church simply because its a very Young/SMALL church in LA full of actors/actresses/music people. So the crowd is so small people tend to date more than one person in a group which doesnt work for me. I understand things not working out, but you cant be with me one week, we break up and then you dating my best friend. cus then we gon have a problem. I dont like that..I would much rather date someone outside the church that shares my values/beliefs, its just to close for comfort on the inside. Plus as any church romance goes people will be ALL UP IN YO BUSINESS..especially the ones that was next in line…smh. DONT DO IT.

    • Babydoll 70

      Or the musicians dating all the singles ladies in the choir.

  • FromUR2UB

    That male model in the pic is giving off a gay vibe (yes, in the still shot), which is one reason a lot of people don’t hook up at church. Another reason is because people think there’s something EEEEvil about people wanting to meet someone with whom they can share their lives, so that’s frowned upon at most churches.

    • yeppers

      What is wrong with meeting someone to share their lives and what the hell church have you heard this at?? O ok…Girl bye! any dam way. lmaooo dont pastors have HUSBANDS AND WIVES AND KIDS?? mine do…

      • FromUR2UB

        You must be a newbie. Ask somebody.

  • L-Boogie


  • Meyaka

    Wow you guys…