‘You Can Get Up And Move On After Things Fall Apart:’ Liza Morales Pens Open Letter About Losing Lamar Odom to Khloe Kardashian

39 comments
March 6, 2013 ‐ By Jazmine Denise Rogers
Source: TLC

Source: TLC

Anyone who has been there knows that it is rather difficult to get past a rough breakup. Being unable to stroll through your local supermarket without seeing your ex and the very famous woman whom he left you for, plastered on magazine covers seems unfathomable. While this sounds like a storyline from a horrible soap opera, it is indeed the reality for former Starter Wives: Confidential star and mother to Lamar Odom’s children, Liza Morales. The Daily Beast recently published a rather detailed open letter penned by the New York native, where she recounts what it felt like to watch the love of her life marry another woman and how she moved on. The letter in its entirety reads:

“I don’t think I’ll forget the tight knot I felt in the pit of my stomach the morning I received the text message with three simple words on the screen. It read “I’m getting married” and it was from the man I’d spent more than 10 years of my life with. Years that included us getting engaged in 2000 and becoming parents to one daughter and two sons. Yet not long after our separation Lamar Odom was getting married to Khloe Kardashian, a woman he’d met four weeks before. How could the man who’d constantly given me reason after reason for why we couldn’t get married just yet now be ready to tie the knot so quickly? There aren’t words to explain how I felt that day.

I met Lamar in the 9th grade in Queens, New York, and was completely taken in by his wit, charm, and that devastating smile he so easily flashed at anyone he met. We dated from the 11th grade on and shared a tight bond due to a lot of things, including the fact that we both were products of broken homes.

Though my parents weren’t together, I did have a very close relationship with my father, whom I loved dearly and consider my hero. He worked very hard to make sure I could attend Catholic school and have everything I needed. But when I started dating Lamar that all changed. My father is Puerto Rican and he didn’t approve of me dating a black man. His small mind and small thinking ended the relationship with my dad. I wanted a life with Lamar and needed my family to support that. The next 10 years would be an amazing journey filled with many ups and down but Lamar and I were creating the family we’d both always dreamed of. Or so I thought.

We talked about marriage a lot during those days but Lamar would always tell me that NBA marriages never lasted. He’d point to Shaquille O’Neal’s marriage ending or Dwayne Wade’s marriage ending as examples of why we should wait until he retired to tie the knot. He told me he wanted to leave the game early and then the timing would be perfect for us. I listened to the many reasons why we weren’t married yet and believed them, knowing deep inside something wasn’t right. And then I slowly morphed into the girl I promised myself I’d never become, the girl who stayed long after she knew she shouldn’t. Truth is, I wanted that fairy tale so badly that I couldn’t bear to walk away from that life or take my children away from the comfort and security of a two-parent home.

I struggled to deal with all the groupies around him and with whatever else that was going on and just stayed put. My denial came to an abrupt end in 2006 after the death of Jayden. Lamar and I never really talked about our loss, which I know wasn’t healthy and also meant our relationship would never last. It couldn’t. I found out soon after that he’d had a long-term relationship with another woman—a relationship he said he’d end but he didn’t—and that was that.

We kept things cordial for the children’s sake after the breakup, but that changed when he married Khloe. Now we only communicate through third parties and lawyers, which I regret deeply since it is exactly what we each experienced as children and said we wouldn’t do to our kids.

I’ve only met Khloe once, at my request since she is my children’s stepmother and I felt it was important to get a sense of her and what she’s like around my children. It was a very pleasant meeting, she gave me a hug so I’m happy it happened.

Though some frown upon my decision to do a reality show, I agreed to be a part of “Starter Wives” so I could tell my own story of how things unfolded after Lamar married Khloe. We weren’t really together so I didn’t fall apart as many have suggested. I’ve have to deal with a lot of tabloid lies as the result of all the attention Lamar gets since he’s married to someone so famous.

To be honest I’m really doing the show for my daughter to prove to her that you can get up and move on after things fall apart. I did it to show her how you make mistakes and fix them and that you can never give up on yourself. She needed to see that and hear it from me. I think I also hope my father sees it as well. The only time I’ve seen my dad in recent years was at the funeral for my son. That was the first time Lamar had ever met him or that the kids had a chance to meet him. I’d really love for my kids to have their grandparents in their lives. They’ve met Lamar’s father (his mother passed away before we met) and are very close to my mother. I’d like to see that change and see them have relationships with both of their grandfathers.”

 

Click to the next page for the rest of Liza’s letter

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  • http://twitter.com/ngozi2012 NG

    my advice to we “single” women looking for a partner make sure the man you found is not a long term baby daddy as in this case because when you get married to the guy you may not be able to have children on time Lamar was evil to have treated his ex that way!

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tress-Brown/100001015423045 Tress Brown

      What did he do? He told her several times he didn’t want to get married now. She dealt with infidelity. She choose to stay. He provided for her and the kids.

  • http://twitter.com/MizzJazzyPeach J Mc

    Wow!!!! Some of yall are so harsh!!! She fell in love at a young age. If you fell in love with someone at that age you’d make dumb decisions too. Yall ain’t perfect so stop coming down on this woman like yall are! Not only were they together at a young age but they were together for 10 years! Everybody’s timeline of healing and learning is different, no one is in a position to tell her when she needs to get over something. Maybe the show and this letter is apart of her healing so she can “get over it”. Lamar is constantly in the spotlight so is his past will always be brought up, which includes Liza. If your story was constantly being put out in the media, none of it is coming from you, and your part in the story isn’t really painted in the most positive light, you mean to tell me that you’d let it slide and not at least get YOUR truth out? It doesn’t make her salty, it makes her in control of her truth. Point. Blank. Period.

  • Meyaka

    Girl…. Sounds like you built your whole life around this man,ten years,many kids and no sort of valuable commitment? I can’t… Best of luck to you and your kids.

  • Yvette

    I cringed while reading this letter because Liza is sooo delusional. Liza made Lamar her ENTIRE world and never focused on herself to figure out what she wanted out of life aside from having his children and being his wife. Meanwhile, he realized his dream of becoming a professional basketball player, and her she is STILL making her entire life about him! Girl get a grip. It has been YEARS!!! Please love yourself and stop this foolishness and move on with your life!

  • http://www.facebook.com/barbara.codner Barbara Codner

    Liza had to learn a very painful lesson about love & relationships but it would’ve been nice if she did it in private.

    No woman/wife wants to hear about how their man’s ex feels. It’s unfortunate that her heart was broken but every new relationship/marriage deserves a clean slate and some mystery. #fallbackhun

  • Secet

    Women are so harsh to one another. Jee whiz!!

    • CJ

      GIRL IF THAT AINT THE TRUTH!!! What happened to supporting each other through heatbreak instead of listing all the thing she “shoulda” done.
      Thats not nearly what we need as sisters… a little tough love is ok but dang, these women are acting like she was just flat out stupid for loving a man and that her situation doesn’t happen to women EVERYDAY…
      What happened to sympathy and support for each other. If you gonna cut somebody down with words fine… but you don’t let them bleed out. Give it to them raw and then pick them back up. These responses are hurtful and judgemental as he*l.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tress-Brown/100001015423045 Tress Brown

        Why does she need sympathy in 2013 for a relationship that ended in 2008? Now, if this was 2008/2009 I could cut her some slack. But this is 5 years later! Why are you crying over your MARRIED ex. It just diesn’t look good.

    • Misskorang

      I am guessing she penned this letter after so many years in response to tabloid lies. The tabloids bring her name up again and again regardless of the fact that she broke up with Lamar five years ago! So yes, if i were her, i’d respond just as she has done, get the record straight once and for all. She wants people to hear her side of the story too, she is not as famous as Lamar and Khloe so she uses the avenue she gets (in this case an open letter and the show). I f you ask me , she is the one ‘wife’ who has kept things classy and sort of taken the high road. I don’t see this letter bashing or hating anyone, its just speaking her truth.

      I hope she really moves on and stop talking about Lamar after this. I have done it, many more women have done it and found love and happiness

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tress-Brown/100001015423045 Tress Brown

        Tabloids weren’t talking about Liza because Khloe and Lamar don’t make public statements about her. Tell the truth, most didn’t know she existed until he married Khloe. She was on Starter Wives talking about TMZ following her. If you go to their site or even google you can count on one hand the number of pics of her. She doesn’t have pics on the major services. So, really no one was talking about her.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1360179760 Taren Wrighton

    To bad for you Liza, you choose to play house with him for 10 years without the benefit of marriage, now you feel bad cause he married a famous woman after knowing her for 4 weeks. Well that is your problem. You settled for less and you obviously was not what he had in mind or he would still be with you. Men know straight off the bat if they want a woman for play or to stay with and get married too. I have heard this same story too many times,
    how woman stay in 10 year relationships, playing house, and being engaged to their boyfriends, the relationship ends, then the guy marries a woman that he has know for like a month right away. You did not have your priorities together, instead of you writing a letter to his new wife, you ought to wish them well and simply move on and forward. You need that letter to read to yourself to remind you of the mistakes you made in having three babies from a man that still was not interested in taking you down the isle after having three kids from him. Save your advice for your daughter and move on already.

    • CJ

      Clearly you didn’t read the letter…
      1. It wasn’t written TO Chloe… It was simply a letter stating her feelings.
      2. She isn’t playing victim in the letter..
      3. Are you really that self rightous and can admit you’ve never lead with your heart instead of your head?
      2b. If so… Child Boo… yeah right.
      4. Stop being so judgemental.

      • mac

        look, she’s correct. I’m tired of people throwing around the word “judgmental”. Leading with your heart instead of your head might make you prolong a bad relationship for a few months, maybe a year or two.

        It will NOT make you stay with a man for 10 years, who makes excuse upon excuse for not wanting to marry you, or make you have kids with said man, and essentially be a ringless wife. Let’s call a spade a spade. The woman was foolish, and that is the fact of the matter, it has nothing to do with passing judgment.

  • CJ

    I loved it… it was honest and from the heart. Never having been in that situation before I can’t begin to imagine how much that has to hurt but if you step outside and forget this is about a celebrity its so relatable. I’m imagining if I was her or if she was one of my friends… spent YEARS with a man, bore his children, he gave excuses as to why he wouldn’t marry you only to turn around and marry a woman he knew for a month. That… sh**… stings. We can all sit here and say “well she shoulda left” but as women we don’t always operate that way and the workings of our hearts is complex.I honestly think she should stay away from reality shows as they come across messy and desperate…. however Im glad she’s finding closure and seaching for happiness.

  • Meemo

    Her letter was positive. She didn’t bash Khloe. She was just telling her truth. It happens to women all the time – they invest YEARS with a man who won’t commit only for them to break up and then he commits quickly to the next woman. It was her life lesson to focus on herself and her children instead of focusing on a man full of excuses. I’m glad to see she’s moving on which is likely more difficult being that Khloe and Lamar are in the public eye. Hopefully Liza and Lamar will get to a point where they can co-parent as adults without lawyers for the sake of their children.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Yeah he was protecting his money. He knew marrying her while he was pulling in several million in the NBA would entitle her to half that cash. So he strung her along played the role until his children got older and he was about done with his NBA career. Smart on his part, dumb as hell on her’s.

      • mac

        but then again, he had kids with her, so if it was about protecting his money, she’s still entitled to child support.

        I think he simply didn’t want to have a marriage with her. And he was probably getting husband privileges already, so why buy the cow as they say…

        • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

          Child support is one thing. Half your earnings, property, and endorsement deals, and lets not forget alimony is quite another thing. Of course he didn’t want to marry her. He wouldn’t have married Khloe if she wasn’t who she was and didn’t come to the plate with her own considerable assets and income.

          But I don’t feel sorry for Liza, it doesn’t take a half way intelligent woman 10 years to wake up and move on. She enjoyed that lifestyle and like she said in her letter would have been fine going her separate ways had he not gotten married.

          • love

            18 years adds up…

            • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

              Well 8, seeing as they were together for 10 years I think their kids are older 12 and up. She got played pointblank.

  • Trisha_B

    Did Lamar not date anyone else after he broke up w/ Liza? I mean werent they broken up for like 4-5 years before he got w/ Khole? So how did she take him from you? Girl, just stop. I can only imagine how awkward things are for the kids when they hear this then have to go around their dad & step mom. Stop broadcasting this, go see a therapist & focus on your daughter who is clearly feeling some type of way. She really needs to move on

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      She’s mostly mad that he strung her along for YEARS about marriage, yet barely knew Khloe for a month before he married her. I don’t give a damn who you are or how over your ex you are, if they pulled a jack azz move like that you be would p*ssed off too.

      • tikkit30

        I agree with you too, about that situation and i did have a similiar situation i was married to my husband we divorced and then a month later he was remarried, but the thing i think the ladies here are saying, is that all women have gone thru some kind of hurt and we all know how painful a break-up can be, but at some point, (and in her case over 5 years) you have to pull yourself together and get a life of your own,she makes it seem like the sun rise and set around Lamar and Khloe, i just think she should get some type of counseling.

        • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

          She does need to get over it and stop playing the victim. She would have been happily unmarried to him STILL if he wanted to be bothered with her.

    • Yvette

      Not only did he date after the break-up, Liza admitted in this letter that he was in a “long-term relationship” with someone else WHILE still with her. Liza was way more delusional than she is letting on. Although I admire the honesty of the letter, it is something I would have NEVER published for the world to see. It would have been for my own personal therapy session to get my feelings out on paper and off of my heart. Get strong Liza and love yourself and those children. They deserve to have a whole mother who is present and involved in their lives. Lamar is not coming back. He is married to Khloe now and has been for 4 years. It is time to DO YOU!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Tress-Brown/100001015423045 Tress Brown

    I need Liza’s friends to be real with her and tell her this is not a good look. She’s coming off looking salty and desperate. Relationships end every day. Some can be extremely painful. But you cry your eyes out in private and move on with your life. You’re relationship ended in 2008. It is now 2013. That’s 5 years. If this is so difficult she should have sought professional help to get through the hard times. It’s strange that the day she goes to court she releases this open letter. What a coincidence. Liza is acting like she’s the only woman in the world that has been heart broken. And why is she writing that she loss Lamar to Khloe. Khloe and Lamar met and married ini 2009. Khloe didn’t steal Lamar from her. He didn’t want a relationship with her any more and move on. Why is she trying to paint Lamar as some sort of monster because he didn’t want her? For the sake of your children get your life in order and stop these Khloe and Lamar interviews. I know mentioning them is your window of 15 minutes fame. But it’s not a good look.

    • Sunny

      Tell it. Someone needs to have the same talk with Dwyane Wade’s ex-wife. I think most people can agree that it sucks to put a certain amount of time and energy into a relationship just to have it fizzle out, but that’s just the way it goes sometimes. Grieve a little, then move on.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1360179760 Taren Wrighton

      So true, she needs to get over it.

    • Tudbee

      Though I can only like your post once, know that i’m liking it a million times. I’m just tired of her whinny self. Move on already, its been how long now? Lamar has been married for a while now and you’re still pinning for what you guys had how long ago? She needs to stop with the pity party.

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      Instead of chasing Lamar’s azz all these years she should have been finding herself a life.

    • tikkit30

      I know you don’t need a co-sign, but i agree 100%, and i don’t understand, she said she moving on, well when is that gonna happen because everytime she say she’s moving on, you doing a show or writing a letter, i’m like dang! is Lamar the only man in the world to this chick, please alot of us women go thru things but we’re not writing letters about him,oh jeez i wish this lady get it together, and go do something else productive because im just over her!

  • bluekissess

    We should all sue Disney for lying about a fairy tale wedding. And she didn’t set any standards (if we’re not married in the next year I’m leaving) and why does guys ex girlfriends resemble each other.

  • pfeiffer87

    ‘To be honest I’m really doing the show for my daughter to prove to her
    that you can get up and move on after things fall apart. I did it to
    show her how you make mistakes and fix them and that you can never give
    up on yourself. She needed to see that and hear it from me.’

    Right. Because your daughter can only learn all of that through you doing a reality tv show? How about having a conversation – a heart to heart? Works for us regular folks. She can do what she wants with her life but I wish people wouldn’t pretend that they’re doing these shows for anything other than money and fame.

    • Nikki

      Right, She needs to move along.

    • bluekissess

      Preach

    • Nicole Bennett

      before I looked at the receipt that said $9897, I did not believe that my friend was truly earning money in there spare time on there computar.. there neighbor had bean doing this 4 only nineteen months and a short time ago cleard the morgage on there place and purchased a gorgeous Jaguar E-type. go to, jump15.comCHECK IT OUT

      • Chey

        lmao

    • http://www.yourtango.com/users/cheekee-baby cheekee baby

      I was with her until she wrote that BS. Had me looking sideways at the rest of the letter.

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