“This Generation Doesn’t Really Court Anymore”: Issa Rae Talks Men And New Show!

151 Comments
March 3, 2013 ‐ By
AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes

AP Photo/Damian Dovarganes

From Essence

Comedic actress Issa Rae, who is best known as the creator and star of The Mis-Adventures of Awkward Black Girl, is opening up about the pilot for her new TV show, I Hate LA Dudes.

The highly anticipated new show is a collaboration with Scandal creator Shonda Rhimes, and it’s name is no joke.

“I really do hate them,” says Rae in a recent interview with Vulture. “I hate the guys. I hate the mentality they have. Everyone’s so chillaxed, the way they speak and carry themselves. They’re very much laid-back in the sense that they feel like they don’t have to pursue you. Especially this generation, they don’t really court women anymore.”

Well, that sounds like some men everywhere! You can get more inside scoop about the show, including whether or not Issa will actually star in the show, over on Essence.

Are you a fan of The Mis-Adventures of Awkward Black Girl series? Will you be watching the new show when it hits ABC?

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  • NeverWrong

    women are certainly not women anymore.

  • TellingTheTruth

    there are not that many good women left anymore like there was years ago to meet as it is nowadays, especially with their very serious attitude problem and thinking that they are all that today too. such losers. it is just too bad that we don’t have women anymore like June Cleaver and Donna Reed again, since they were very committed to their men and accepted them for who they were.

  • huh

    Shonda Rhimes seems to have ZERO commitment or interest in portraying Black love, so maybe she is the right person for this project?

    • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_JAI4SRENU2A5WKRTELXXYJPDSI Kayla

      she has in grey anatomy…

  • Vandellish

    LADIES the honest truth is that that courtship sh!t doesn’t work for the most part, plain and simple.
    Do this…Ask your male friends about their own personal ‘courtship’ episodes and the women that they’ve tried it with and I’ll bet at least 7 out of 10 of those stories are failed attempts. Simply put, men are going to do what gets results or at least what we think will bring results.

    Courtship, in American tradition (bringing flowers/candy, opening doors, consistently checking in/on, numerous dates paid for by the man, etc…), basically equates to kissing a lot of azz for a while as well as giving away ALL power to a woman. All of this with almost no investment from the woman AND while waiting (hoping) for sex and/or the promise of an exclusive relationship.

    Most men over the age of 25 have learned either consciously or subconsciously that this approach simply doesn’t work in most cases.

  • YES gAWD

    Awww….did the confident woman hurt your little feelings??? Sorry i dont sit around insecure about about what another woman will do. And you gathered that I have an attitude how exactly? Because i wont let men walk all over me afraid he will leave. Gods version of DOING for myself does not include being a doormat OR RUNNING UP BEHIND MEN. It invloves being the woman of purpose he has called me to be, being patient in his word. and nice try with the stereotypes I am a young unmarried woman starting my own company no kids (SINCE I AM NOT MARRIED : WHY WOULD I HAVE KIDS???) O OK…I dont run my life on what society does… so miss me with the antics. Now Im done….Go worry about being a MAN..and dont try to make me a woman, you will lose every time.

  • HundredMillionRoses

    WTF is she talmbout ? I was just in court last week smh

  • Nope

    I don’t think women from older generations are very impressed with the women of younger generations either ((which includes the 80’s babies).

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/YSUNRFSNFK2DNQXGGCCTTV3NC4 Lucy

    the one night stand – cut buddy – hit it on first date – hook up
    culture in which the majority of women freely participate and there you
    have it. By the time you hit late 20’s and 30’s, that courting thing
    becomes the exception and not the rule. Black women looking for white men??? black
    women loving white men???______blackwhiteplanet.c0m_____is the #1 black women
    white men dating site. No one night stand. serious relationship

  • 305MovesLikeDagger

    lol forget all that courting b.s, I am just trying smash! women my parents era deserved to be courted, women now have had a basketball team worth of dink in the them, so I am just taking my turn and moving on.

    • js

      Mature up and get with an older woman. You won’t be sorry.

  • corey

    The big elepahant in the room people miss is the fact black women as we know them now will slowly become extinct. As black men continue to venture out and procreate with other races they will weed out many of the disgruntled black women. The black men have the seed of the black race, not the women.

  • BABYC21US

    I hate ABC

  • Kahekili

    Most of you are so brainwashed that you allow men (and women) to tell you that it is your fault that men don’t act right.

  • Machone

    Black men that’s not in jail are a hot commodity due to the fact so many are incarcerated….

    • Kahekili

      Really?

  • 1Val

    LOL. Courting has NOT changed for this generation. If a man is smitten by a woman he will pursue her. If he is not interested in her then he will display it. Unfortunately, Issa Rae has been interested in men who have NOT been interested in her. And that is not a generational culture just Isaa Rae’s negative dating experiences.

    • you madd

      hahah tho thats harsh…i would not call u a lie tho. Im sure she has probably done that. I mean shes beautiful dont get me wrong…But in LA the view of beauty is very warped. Most of the really FINE MEN dont go after a issa rae type. Just being honest…thats why i focus on being the best me i can be..that dont mean getting 100 pounds of weave, a freakum dress, and wearing a face full of light makeup every night to attract one of them. But being confident and a good woman…GOOD ATTRACTS GOOD…she should try that and dont complain bout who dont want her. My thoughts…

  • Here’s the truth

    One thing I know about people, is that what a person says means very little. It’s what they DO. This especially applies to women.

    I have found that as a man you should pay little attention to what comes out of a woman’s mouth when it comes to what she wants from a man or how she wants a man to treat her. What works with today’s women, especially the attractive ones, is generally they exact opposite of what they say they want.

    It’s kind of amusing to see women complain that men don’t “court” them. The fact is that a man attempts to “court” most of today’s women, he will be labeled as thirsty or creepy.

    Reality check time ladies: this is the monster that you and your counterparts have created. If women truly rewarded a man for being that hard-working, door-opening, flower-bringing simp that yall claim you really want, more men would be that.

    Also if you’re attractive, FEMININE, and you have a good attitude getting the man you really want will not be an issue. Many of the women in L.A. are beautiful so the lady in this picture would have a hard time there.

    • Kahekili

      There is no reason why a man’s behavior should be dependent on what women are doing.

  • Senait Ashenafi

    Men don’t court anymore and that’s why I don’t bother dating. It’s a waste of time. The good old days are gone.

    • you madd

      Im in LA and I dont date either…simply because all of what she mentioned. the men wait on you to Act thirsty enough to be considered for a date/converstation. Im from the south and was brought up differently. Men who are interested approach and ask you out on dates. And they dont ask that you have sex with them in order to be deemed worthy for a date either. and as the woman I also hold the right to say yes or no….Just because you take the 1st step and walk up to Beyonce and ask her out dont mean she got to say yes. Learn how to take rejection…the same way we have to take it when you act a fool on us. Is the same way you need to approach asking women out.

  • Tonyoardee

    The most recent phenomenon the “Screenshot” has destroyed some lingering hope of chivalry in the digital age as well

    • yeppers

      If you enjoy dating women that will screenshot your conversation and post it on Twitter then that says a little about your dating preference as well. Im a grown woman hunny….You like 15 year old girls apparently. Lol Know a womans maturity level, just as I need to know a mans before dating them.

      • Tonyoardee

        these are women aged 22 to 26

        • http://twitter.com/docbndgrl9113 Keesha (Киша)

          That’s exactly she was talking about the woman’s MATURITY LEVEL, not their age. She was comparing their maturity level to that of a 15 year old girl.

  • MRFINALJUSTICE2012

    LADIES, this will probably not go over well with some of you, but you yourselves are responsible for the fact that a lot of BLACK men no longer pursue and subsequently court you…With all of the role reversal in the black community and the fact that more and more women are attempting to act more and more masculine and less and less feminine while they demand equality, the men are systematically being thrown into a more feminine role than what was traditionally seen previously…They are refusing to do anything of a chivalrous nature for women that they once did….All of the comments that some women used to make about “not needing as man” are coming back to haunt them, and to be perfectly honest, (a LOT of sisters do not want to realize this but) the same men that they claim to not need are the exact same ones that they “WISH” would pursue them, but there’s the rub…Women had it pretty good for along time…they didn’t have to carry heavy things, they didn’t have to fix flat tires, they didn’t have to squish spiders and they didn’t need to do a lot of things that MEN traditionally did, and in some ways, things improved for them, but since women have claimed their independence, men no longer feel that they have to be as they once were, and in extreme cases, men actually haul off and beat the brakes off of some women…..As for me, I will be one of the first brothers to say that “I” need my black woman, and I’ll admit that not every black woman is marriage material, but then again, a lot of brothers aren’t either, so with all of that being said, just keep in mind that you ladies may ask for something, but once you get it, it may not have been what you really wanted in the first place in retrospect…….

    • Kahekili

      Typical. Blame Black men’s behavior on Black women.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alli-Walsh/100000869185919 Alli Walsh

        While I agree that Black women need to take control of our lives and not allow these men a chance, I also agree that Black men need to take responsibility for their lackluster, immature, behavior. I’ve seen Black women rear their sons as if the world belongs to them and I’ve seen Black women let broke Black men climax inside of them, creating babies. I want Black women to take control and not allow these broke, undereducated, nonprioritizing Black men to come into our lives. I also want Black men to take responsibility for their children, prioritize their lives, increase their percentage of college education/trades, and learn and understand what a family is.

      • MRFINALJUSTICE2012

        You are wrong…….I blame BLACK MEN for what they do wrong, and I blame BLACK WOMEN for allowing it to go on and reward men with sex for exhibiting self defeating behavior to our very race…In short, if the shoe doesn’t fit, you have no reason to be upset over it……

    • SheBe

      I get what you are saying and I agree with the majority of your point. What many black women get tired of, is the thought that its ALWAYS our fault; everything with our community. At some point a man has to want to be and do better for himself without the black woman as the cheerleader on the sideline. It seems to fall back on her lap and vice versa; women blame too. Your point of course may not go over well but I understand the over all message. I think accountability is the missing link with us.

      • hsc179

        Black women been blaming black men for everything for years now but they cant take it when the heat is thrown back in their faces.As you see after all these years black men have went elsewhere for marriage and black women are still single and complaining.And its not like black women are obligated to only marry black men so the real issue is not black men.Not saying all but I think 60 percent of black women need to look in the mirror and stop blaming black men for your insecurity and face the music.It aint just black men who wont commit to you

        • SheBe

          Maybe my perspective is skewed because I’m married. Oh well.

          • hsc179

            Good for you.If you had read the whole entire message you can clearly see I said 60 percent not 100 percent.So there are some sistas who use common sense instead of bullshit they are fed everyday.or maybe your man lets you wear the pants.I aint mad at cha

            • SheBe

              Or maybe we embrace our roles in our relationship as man/husband and woman/wife that allows for a healthy balance to maintain a fulfilling relationship. It’s really just that simple. Good talk.

        • texastea

          You raise a good point. Ain’t like we get lynched anymore for interracial relationships. If black men, entertainers, and pro-athletes are “flocking” to other non-black women, how come black women won’t do the same if they are so fed up with black men? How come other races of men aren’t flocking to our voluptuous black women?

          • carolhicks

            Because we have been marketed around the world as “b’s” and “h’s” for the last twenty years. We have to rebrand ourselves.

        • carolhicks

          88% of married Black men are married to Black woman. 30% of Jewish men 30% of Asian people marry outside of their race. Black men are the least likely of all races of men to marry outside of their race.

          1. Black men have not left Black women.

          2. Black women are not “b’s and “h’s”.

          These two false statements are destroying us. Blog after blog, we restate false comments as truth until they become our reality.

          While, I’m here, I have some good news to share. The incarceration rate for Black women has declined by 30% and about 9% for Black men in the past 10 years. I’m so proud of us! Please pass it on – we need to share good news.

      • texastea

        “At some point a man has to want to be and do better for himself without the black woman as the cheerleader on the sideline.” That’s because too many black males have never had a good COACH: THEIR FATHER!

    • GM_I

      I refuse to do anything chivalrous not becuz women are acting more like men, but becuz chivalry is sexist towards men. Everything else u said, I agree with. I dont feel sorry for females of today though. This is the future/world their ancestors fought for 60-70yrs ago with their Women’s Lib & feminist movement. I hope the saying “Be careful what u ask for, u might just get it” resonates deep within their souls lol.

      • YOU MADD

        Well as long as you are happy keeping your foot on someones neck with telling them what they will never be…I hope you know you will remain right there with them. The only way to have a blessing is to be a blessing…and the only persons behavior you can change is your OWN…so keep waiting for the whole race of women to become this that and the third…Id rather act RIGHT and see what that gets me, than be IGNORANT because everybody else is doing it. But hey…DO YOU.

        • Senait Ashenafi

          Preach. Everyone has to be the change they wanna see. Everyone should treat others like they wanna be treated. Smh. I’m so over black men. They just don’t get it. and most never will.

        • I wish I could give you 100 thumbs up in one click for this comment. So very true.

        • Kahekili

          “The only way to have a blessing is to be a blessing”

          Isn’t ‘God’ the one who bestows ‘blessings’ upon people?

          • you madd

            My love I get you dont understand Church language, so no need to question everything I says about God because Trust I know exactly who i serve, and your questions wont change that. But to break it down for you: God Blesses you for you to pass that blessing on to others. Not to hoard and keep it to yourself, not to look down on others because of who they are not and hat they dont have but to help and love all people. But i digress…

            • Kahekili

              1. I am not your love.
              2. You are right. I do not understand ‘Church language’. I was referring to the dictionary definition.
              3. I didn’t question everything you said about ‘God’. I only asked you one question.
              4. I wasn’t try to change who you ‘serve’ with my question.

              Blessing |ˈblesiNG|
              noun [ in sing. ]
              God’s favor and protection

              So, based on that definition, my question makes perfect sense, but it is common for people to change words to mean what they want.

              • you madd

                Look you believe whatever you WANT to believe..Im not here to change your mind. Im not nobodies preacher/pastor. Please do not ask me anymore about God on these post. I wont answer…Its not my job to go over the word with you. Thanks beautiful.

                • Kahekili

                  I don’t need your permission to believe what I want to. I also did not expect for you to change my mind. Neither is that what I was going for. I couldn’t care less about ‘the word’, whatever that is. I just asked you a simple question, little Miss.

                  • be nice

                    Stop being mean.

                    • Kahekili

                      F*ck off! How’s that?

                    • be nice

                      WOW! Had I just scrolled down a little further and read this nice comment you wrote, I would not have bothered to write what I wrote above. (shame on me.) You have yourself a good night. I hope you get some joy in your life.

                    • Kahekili

                      Shame on you for being so stupid.

                  • you madd

                    Well for you to not KNOW WHAT SOMETHING IS…you sure seem very Hell bent (in more ways than 1) to decode everything someone say about God on a post….You are hilarious to me. You claim to not give HOOT about my religion and want to practice yours freely (or not) but attack everyone who mentions what you DONT BELIEVE IN. Why dont you MIND YOUR OWN DAM BUSINESS IF WHAT I BELIVE IN DOESNT INTEREST YOU. I wouldnt be interested in ANYTHING i could “CARE LESS ABOUT” i mean that is the way that YOU PUT IT RIGHT?? for you to not care about “THE WORD” DONT MAKE ME EAT OR MAKE ME SHT….SO YOU ARE DISMISSED…Like I said Im not here to preach to you..so dont bother to ask me anymore questions about God or religion.

                    • be nice

                      We shall no longer feed into this madness with Kahekili. You are right, it is not your job to explain if he/she does not truly want to know. You enjoy your evening and keep your joy. :)

                    • Kahekili

                      Firstly, I thought you said you would’t be answering any more questions about ‘God’ on this post. So much for that.

                      No one is ‘hell bent’ on decoding anything. I asked you a simple question.

                      I didn’t claim to not give a HOOT about your religion and want to practice mine freely. I don’t practice religion. Neither did I say that I did anywhere on here. I don’t know where you got that from.

                      You commented on a public form, inserting your personal beliefs, so you cannot ask someone to mind their business about information you put out there.

                      “I wouldnt be interested in ANYTHING i could “CARE LESS ABOUT” i mean that is the way that YOU PUT IT RIGHT?? – No, that is not right. I said, “I couldn’t care less about ‘the word’, whatever that is.”

                      3 things I learned about you: You can’t answer a simple question. You say what you do not mean. You do not pay attention to what is said and in return, you make up arguments to argue against.

            • Kahekili

              You Christians are all the same. You all just start talking about something unrelated, talk in circles, and can never give a straight answer.

              • be nice

                If you’re going to ask questions and want answers, please you must open your mind and heart otherwise you won’t get it. Read and try your best to comprehend the Bible if you truly want to know about God’s blessings. As @you madd said, God can bring someone your way as a blessing to you. He can and WILL use others as blessings. Have you ever heard the saying someone has truly been a blessing? You may have been a blessing in someone’s life just as someone may have been a blessing in your life. (You may have just missed it.) No need to respond with negativity. I’m just trying to help you understand since you felt @you madd’s last response was “talking in circles.”

                • Kahekili

                  I don’t want to read and comprehend the Bible. I don’t care about ‘God’s blessings’. I’m an Atheist.

                  I can respond however I wish to. There is nothing for you to help me understand. I just asked one simple question!

                  • be nice

                    One who “doesn’t care” wouldn’t ask “Isn’t ‘God’ the one who bestows ‘blessings’ upon people?” I shall not waste anymore time on you. Good night.

                    • you madd

                      Thats what she does… tries to question every commenter that mentions God like shes trying to unearth some Lie in what we are saying and then gets MAD when we wont give her an answer she likes…Its sad.

                    • Kahekili

                      I am not asking for an answer I like. I am asking for an answer that is logical, not more religious mumbo jumbo that you all recite when someone questions you.

                    • Kahekili

                      Why can’t either one of you give a straight answer to the question?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alli-Walsh/100000869185919 Alli Walsh

        Exactly@ YOU MADD.

        GM_I is obviously a clown and is “cooning”. These males want women to be barefoot and pregnant without complaint. The nerve of males to attack the feminist “movement” (LIFESTYLE) just speaks to the idea that they don’t want us to have rights. Had it not been for people like Sojourner Truth, a Black, Feminist, Abolitionist, then women wouldn’t have the right to vote, would still be treated as property, wouldn’t be able to report rape by their husbands, etc. If you’re not educated about something, just don’t comment, EVER!

        • MLS2698

          After he said, ” I refuse to do anything chivalrous, ” all I could think of is how he is probably not GETTING ANY.

          • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alli-Walsh/100000869185919 Alli Walsh

            right on. he has a chip on his shoulder. people need to stop blaming others and change what needs to be changed.

          • WhatHappenedToPriorities

            And he’s probably cheap as a $5.00 pair of shoes. What happened to the days of a man wanting to take a woman out and show her a good time? It doesn’t have to be a $100 meal. Shoot, just be generous. Problem is men will spend their money on strippers but won’t bother to treat a nice young college graduate to a little dinner and a movie.

    • FromUR2UB

      A lot of women, and especially black women, are independent by necessity rather than desire. Sometimes men refuse to “be there” for women, or at least, some women. What are those women supposed to do? Admitedly, there is a degree of pride and satisfaction in knowing she can do it for herself, to not have to be at someone’s mercy. But, what good is cake if you can’t eat it? The women who do it for themselves still want to be able to share life with somebody…come home to someone who makes them feel loved and cared about, whatever that means to her. Why are black women punished for doing what has to be done?

      • you madd

        EXACTLY…and MOST women i know who dont marry college sweethearts and high school boyfriends have that time after college and in life where they must build a life for themselves. Every women does not have the luxury of having men on speed dial whenever they need something. And honestly @MRFINALJUSTICE2012:disqus I dont trust every man to just want to be cool and do things for me. Nor do I need them to. Im very conscious about who I let into my space/life and every man that is interested does not deserve that. Because just like you said EVERY MAN IS NOT MARRIAGE MATERIAL. I also think the only reason alot of women put up that I dont need front..is because THIS PHRASE IS USED TO ABUSE DAY IN AND DAY OUT…That is always thrown back up in our faces when no one ever wants to mention the reason why people are guarded.

      • Bgirl

        Exactly! I have rent, car insurance, and other bills. If I dont get out here and work, who are going to pay them? I dont go around shouting how independent I am because I’m an adult and working and paying bills is what adults (men&women) should do. I dont need a man financially, but I do want someone to share my life with. To me having everything in the world is nothing, if you have no one to share it with.

      • texastea

        This is rooted in slavery and the American welfare system, you know that, right?

        • MRFINALJUSTICE2012

          Thank you……..

    • texastea

      I’m feeling what you said. Reminds me of the song and its lyrics that just went off the radio: “I’m Catchin’ Hell” by Natalie Cole. Sistas really need to listen to the words.

  • DR.FUNK

    I don’t know that men don’t “court / pursue” anymore. I think it’s more that women have become more BLUNT about you “qualifying” before approaching.Nothing wrong with that…but in stripping it down to a business transaction-certain elements of the “romance” are gonna be lost too.It is what it is.Especially in LA.

    • you madd

      I wouldnt call qualifying a life mate a business transaction but whatever….You wouldnt walk up and get to know PRECIOUS…So dont sit up here and act like women need to blindly date men. We all qualify people we are interested in, whether verbally or non verbally. You are romantic with who you are interested in and want to take things further with…

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Alli-Walsh/100000869185919 Alli Walsh

        exactly. and, we are supposed to qualify our partners in every aspect, whether its physical attraction, goals, financial stability, lifestyle, etc. frankly, i feel like broke men need to get themselves together before they enter into a relationship and the same for women. how are you dating if you can’t afford condoms or other birth control? if you can’t afford to go and play mini golf, go to a museum, or take a trip to Florida? prioritize. everyone says that money shouldn’t be an issue. it shouldn’t? if one is serious about a healthy, lasting relationship, money is a definite issue as it relates to LIFESTYLE.

  • SHANNON

    WHY SHOULD MET COURT ANYMORE????? BLACK WOMEN WILL SLEEP WITH A THUG WHO JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL FOR A PIECE OF FRIED CHICKEN….

    • Chey

      You must be going after the wrong women.

  • PeoplePlease7

    Sadly, things will continue to get worse. When grown males call women bi***es, h**s, and cu**s and still have women at their feet, this sets the tone early on. Many women dance to music which objectifies and insults them and willfully engage with thuggish edgy males who view you all as a collection of body parts not worthy of ‘courting’. Add the one night stand – cut buddy – hit it on first date – hook up culture in which the majority of women freely participate and there you have it. By the time you hit late 20’s and 30’s, that courting thing becomes the exception and not the rule.

    Ultimately, we as men (Black especially) have failed in our roles as protecting our family units, policing our culture, and raising sons and daughters in mutual respect.

  • PeoplePlease7

    Sadly, things will continue to get worse. When grown males call women bi***es, h**s, and cu**s and still have women at their feet, this sets the tone early on. Many women dance to music which objectifies and insults them and willfully engage with thuggish edgy males who view you all as a collection of body parts not worthy of ‘courting’. Add the one night stand – cut buddy – hit it on first date – hook up culture in which the majority of women freely participate and there you have it. By the time you hit late 20’s and 30’s, that courting thing becomes the exception and not the rule.

    Ultimately, we as men (Black especially) have failed in our roles as protecting our family units, policing our culture, and raising sons and daughters in mutual respect.

    • learnalesson

      Like I noted the other day, women need to stop giving it away and make a man work for it. Men will not court or commit as long as the next woman is willing to do anything for the sake of saying she has a man. Quality is what’s important.

      • Chey

        I agree.

      • EspressoBean

        Indeed, it is hard when the next woman makes it easier for the man to get sex, but she will not improve his quality of life.

        I know a lot of men who try to commit to good women, but eventually wind up hurting her, because they are not used to women with high standards and don’t know how to handle the relationship. It’s a vicious cycle.

        • Kahekili

          Men should be improving their quality of life, not women.

        • texastea

          So true. All these hoes and jump offs video-vixen wannabe types are making it bad for the good sistas out their.

    • MRFINALJUSTICE2012

      Personally, I blame the women that allow this type of behavior and reward it….Let’s face it….If a man wasn’t getting any sex for being a dead beat, you had best believe that he’d be on his grind to do better, but if by underachieving, he gets foo, a place to stay, a place to smoke his weed and play X-BOX all day, he is going to take the latter option, because it is the path of least resistance…It is the easiest row to hoe, it is simple and rquires litte effort as opposed to going out and actually WORKING every day the way a man is supposed to, but as long as women allow it and support it by having sex with those fools, there will be no end to it…..

      • Kahekili

        Yep. Let’s just go with “Blame it on Women” for $600.00

        • Bgirl

          Right. If we would stop sleeping with all these thugs and bums all the problems in the Black community will be fixed. O_____o *sarcasm*

          • Chey

            it would be a start.

          • Candacey Doris

            It would help!

      • Tonyoardee

        He does have a point, i mean what ever happened to natural selection ladies. Selecting the man with the greatest characteristics to pass on to offspring to survive?

        • dhgwen

          What happened is the selection pool is full of mud-ducks. And worse; mud-ducks with an entitled attitude. Even the so-called “good guys” are starstruck with the superificial over the substance in a woman. So the men of chararcter have become few and far between.

          • you madd

            All the guys are starstruck hunny…and when these superficial women turn them down or make them jump through hoops of fire with no reward in return then they deem all women as over processed hos who are no good.

          • Senait Ashenafi

            So true. Preach on that. It’s really sad out here.

          • texastea

            Yeah but y’all don’t want men of character: y’all want “ballers.” Y’all want a man wit some munn-nay. Y’all want a man who can “lay it down.”

        • Kahekili

          That isn’t what natural selection is. That is ‘selective breeding’.

      • you madd

        Well 1st and foremost you arent getting sex unless you’re my husband…So when you do what it takes to be THAT…then we can talk about whats going to go down in our bedroom…thanks tho.

        • MLS2698

          I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT!

          • MRFINALJUSTICE2012

            You apparently “KNOW WRONG”, because a lot of men always will choose the path of least resistance when it comes to women…..For those that won’t do as a man asks, there are always others who will…..Know that……

        • Ce1999

          Yes! Say that!

        • MRFINALJUSTICE2012

          Sorry about the late response, but I’m extremely busy…Secondly, I hate to sound crass, but if you are withholding sex from a man you want to be your husband, it is doubtful that you’ll ever get married…..

      • texastea

        It all starts in childhood and is rooted in our recent history of single-parenthood. They say that women (a single mother) raise their daughters but they love their sons. This is what has lead to a generation of black men that some feel are….”worthless” for lack of a better word. Our men have gone from breast to breast in life: The only way they get off of mama’s tidday (i.e. being supported by her, living with her, etc.) is to find another woman’s tidday (i.e. girlfriend/wife) and the only way they get off of her tidday is when they find another woman’s tidday to suckle off of. Very rarely do our black men truly get time in their lives to be totally independent, doing it on their own (i.e. own car/own apt./house,etc) to discover who they really are and want they really want out of life and out of relationships and to focus on their spiritual and intra-personal growth and heal past wounds.

        • MRFINALJUSTICE2012

          I agree with you, and I actually live by myself as a bachelor in my own home because my mother told me that when I was younger that if I wanted to do grown man things, then I needed to move out, so I did, and the only time I ever go back is to visit, because I enjoy my freedom as a single man too much to ever go back…..

          • texastea

            And ain’t it wonderful? Just to have that space as a man? To come home from a long day’s work to peace & solitude. You can watch the game and eat wings if you want. You can read. Focus on your life’s plan and goals. Fix up the place the way you like it. You can have your boys over for a beer. You can have a chick over. Then a different one two days later. Then a different one on Friday night. Heck, you can have two over at da same dayum time. Live ya life bro!

            • MRFINALJUSTICE2012

              That’s exactly what I do, TEXASTEA……

      • Mille

        And that’s real. At the end of the day women call the shots on what she allows a man to treat her. If you accept it at the door, it continues until that man has a come to Jesus moment or you put him out on the curb. I feel sorry for these younger chics because these dudes these days were done a huge disservice on the upbringing tip. A lot of these cats were raised under the impression that a woman was the head of the household, and that men were to be catered to. Sounds ugly but its a reality that can’t be denied. It will take an entire sea change for these cats to get right. Yeah men are equally responsible for the situation as it currently stands but if they can find someone willing to let them take a free ride then they will

    • Bgirl

      You made some good points. But…sigh. Why do some men always bring up (some form of) “women like bad boys/thugs” or “women go after men who disrespect them.” Are we gonna pretend that so-called nice guys aren’t just as bad. Especially the ones who are manipulative and play games. There are just as many educated, good job having, clean cut, “nice guys” that are equally as disrespectful and use women as objects as there are thugs.

      • GM_I

        Education, job/career & a clean cut doesn’t make a man a nice guy. A lot of females think the same way as u do when they see those features on a man. It’s why most of the female population is doomed & will continued to be screwed figuratively & literally at the same damn time.

        • yeppers

          So what is your solution Boo…You claim that a good man are none of those characteristics you just stated and hes not pookie who just got out of jail so what next. At the end of the day we need to get to KNOW whoever we deem as datable to see how they view relationships and courting. If they dont have the same respect as you in the relationship department they need to step. I dont care what he does for a living.

          • Bgirl

            I’ve come to realize that with some of these men you cant win no matter what. Either you are going to be seen as a gold-digger or having standards to high or a thug-lover with standards too low. All you can do is get with someone who meets you halfway and who is on the same page with you whether he be rich and educated or, your average guy, or these so-called thugs that some men claim we want.

          • GM_I

            There is no solution for women really. Modern day women find themselves in the exact situation this saying is based off of: “You never know what u have until its gone” Everything most women claim to want (i.e. family, breadwinning husband who provides, courtship & romance, roof over their head, bills paid, being a homemaker who has all the time in the world to raise her kids properly and spend quality time with them) is what women had during the era of Suzie Homemaker (and is now lost in todays society).

            Women of that era and many of todays modern era view that type of woman as a weak woman. Women fought to do away with gener roles & usher in the age of equality. Women fought for their right to be completely independent, rather than dependent on a man for things she couldn’t do & be depended on by a man for things he couldn’t do. In my opinion, a lot more cons came from feminism & womens liberation than pros. But it was ironically women who suffered the worst from these cons & even from some of the pros. Us men haven’t really been affected as much becuz what women of today have to do for themselves now, men have done since the dawn of time. What did women gain from feminism/womens lib when u really think about it??? The right to vote for shady politicians based off politics majority of women dont even care about. The right to apply for jobs that most of y’all cant even stand. The right to goto college & rack up thousands of dollars in debt, only to get a job in a field of work u never even attended school for, that pays crap & has long hours. Careers that are so demanding u have little time for a social or romantic life whatsoever, and even if u do have a family u end up neglecting them becuz u have to work to support them. Feminism/womens lib did create more choices for women they once didn’t have, but in the end it seems all it did was increase the liklihood of choosing the wrong choice for yourselves.

            • FromUR2UB

              Most women don’t want to return to “Suzie Homemaker” days, no more than most men want women to remain barefoot and pregnant. Those days meant that women were often held hostage by their financial dependency upon a man, and having to endure whatever treatment he doled out. The irony in all of this, is that many fathers – you know, men? – will teach their daughters to become independent so that she doesn’t have to be stuck in relationships with men who don’t value her. But, other men will criticize her for that quality. Women I know who are independent, are usually more likely to try to be partners to their men, helping to pay bills and keep the household running. She wants the same in return. Yet, the the more capable a woman is, the more men seem to resent her for that. She doesn’t always have to throw it in his face either. Why is that? Do men really need women to play helpless to feel manly?

              • GM_I

                Regarding the quality about fathers teach their daughters u speak of, its ironic, but understandable. The fathers of today are different from the fathers of yesteryear becuz men of today know men are not obligated or responsible for the financial support of females as we once were as a society. Therefore, women must learn & be taught to do things men have done since the dawn of mankind. Back in the “Suzie Homemaker” days young boys were taught & encouraged to be breadwinners & providers to women & children. Women changed that & now must adapt to both the pros & cons of these changes. Also, why does a woman who is independent have to throw it in a mans face at all??? Answering your question, us men dont need women to play helpless to feel manly or feel motivated. Most the men I know, generally aren’t interested in the things many women claim makes them independent, becuz we dont benefit from those things in general. Most women aren’t trying to be 50/50 partners handling the bills & other living expenes. Most women feel if they’re paying hald the rent, their not a girlfriend/wife, their a roommate smh. As independent as many of u women love to claim, the majority aren’t jumping out their seats to go dutch on dates, pay half of every bill, maintain & good paying job & devote time to their significant other as its expected from us men. One last thing, men aren’t helpmates to women, once upon a time women were suppose to be the helpmates to us men, but nowadays just plot n scheme the best ways to get money out of us.

                • FromUR2UB

                  Then you don’t know the right women. I know plenty of women who help pay the bills, and where she earns more, she pays the bulk of them. Seriously, though, you don’t even know women who will maintain a good paying job?! Wow, that’s really too bad. Where are you meeting all these scheming and plotting women who need your money to survive? I’d say, “Leave there”. I wasn’t raised by a father of today, yet in his time, my father had the wisdom to teach his daughters to stand on their own feet. Every GOOD father, who has a concern for his daughter’s wellbeing, will do that. Men have also benefitted from technology because most are no longer making a living by the sweat of their brow, aren’t changing the oil in their own cars or doing any physical work around their homes if they can afford to pay someone else to do it.

            • guest

              Hmm. You must be referring to white women bc traditionally black women almost always had to work outside the home to supplement the income even with a husband in the home moreover, the feminist movement largely ignored the Unique issues of black women during that era. So if you are referring to black woman yr argument holds no merit

              • GM_I

                Of course what I says holds merit. Because what u choose to ignore, is the fact that even tho feminism wasn’t geared towards black women, black women still joined in on the waves of feminism throughout the years & still are today, especially modern day black women. Black women of today are still stuck in the aspect of extreme feminism/male hatred. The mantras of extreme feminism is the cornerstone of the “nxggaz aint shxt” mantra of blk women today. Compare the hate speech white women had towards men back in the early start of feminism, to the crap blk women spew about blk men today. They’re pretty much one in the same, just tweeked a lil bit to be used as an attack towards blk men. The whole mentality of “I dont need a man”, “women are better than men”, the matriarchal society structure within the blk community is all a byproduct of extreme feminism. For u to think feminism didnt affect blk women is becuz ur only looking at a piece of the puzzle instead of the whole picture.

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony blak martian Tinney

              That was OUTSTANDING!!

          • http://profile.yahoo.com/YSUNRFSNFK2DNQXGGCCTTV3NC4 Lucy

            What 1+1 equals depends on all these different factors that they can’t
            explain… And I’m just lookin like naw it equal 2… Every time. Lmaooo.
            Black women looking for white men??? black women loving white men???____blackwhiteplanet.com_____is the #1 black women
            white men dating site. No one night stand. serious relationship

        • Bgirl

          I never said having those characteristics meant someone was a good guy. Education and a good job doesnt necessarily = good man. And nice guy doesnt always = good man either. What I’m saying is that it is not only thugs/bad boys that disrespect women. Because that seems to be the go to answer. As far as that goes thugs/bad boys can be decent guys too (depending on other factors) In one breathe ppl will say stop looking for ballers and men with educations and give the “regular” guy a chance. And when a women does and it doesnt work out, the advice is you should stop dating thugs & higher standards. O___o It’s all contradictory.

          • Janae

            Oh and the “regular guys” have that entitled attitude also.

          • GM_I

            U claiming “thugs/bad boys can be decent guys too” is another shared mentality amongst the female race that ends up screwin y’all over as well lol…That small hope that the azzh0le boyfriend or significant other a woman is dating or in a relationship with has good qualities about him that are worth sticking it out with him for years & only her love alone can bring out, usually ends with the female being expired damaged goods. Thats the same mentality im sure Rihanna has about Chris even tho he beat her up. She has experienced a few good qualities here n there, enough to ignorant the bad ones no matter how bad they truly are. Also, I understood the context of ur “nice guy” comment. It was the description that came with it that I wanted to shine a light on. One last thing, dont u find it ironic that u would complain about advice u gave as an example as being contradictory, right after stating how thugs/bad boys can be decent individuals. Care to elaborate what thugs/bad boys do that would qualify as decent???

      • Senait Ashenafi

        Preach. Being educated and having a good job doesn’t mean a thing. A dog is still a dog. I”ve given up on ALL men.

        • GM_I

          Oh, so u eat the box now, huh??? lol

      • PeoplePlease7

        The point of the article was about courting, and I was trying to stay on topic. I didn’t mean to imply that non-thuggish guys were morally better than thugs, just that they have enough sense to recognize that they should be courting you and treating you with respect. Your outline of a nice guy didn’t mention anything about morals or spirituality which is what many think of when mentioning a nice guy, not just because he has a college degree. Without getting sidetracked on semantics and “what is a nice guy” , etc.. we hopefully agree that courting is a step in the right direction to treating you sisters with respect.

        Again we as men, in the face of the mixed messages being put out about how you want to be treated, have to be more aggressive about ensuring consistent positive messages are being delivered to young boys and girls before they enter the dating game and being role models to those youth who don’t have examples of positive fathers.

    • links31

      OH SHUT THE F UK UP WITH THIS WE AS BLACK MALES, NO N *GGA, U FAILED NOT ME U FOOL. I don’t date and chase hood rats idiots, i don’t have this mentality of we don’t need a man, or a father in the home B.S. when the homes are ran by women who have a 72% out of wedlock rate, who the hell u think is teaching them morals, dignity and respect? THE MOTHER U FOOL. i am so sick and TIRED of u damn simps always talking this ISH about we as black men, no idiot U, because WHEN u have well to do black men who have a career, not a JOB, who is responsible, who is hard working, who do not live off the system, who rarely goes to JAIL, how the F U K did I as a black male fail when it is the WOMEN who are the ones not picking and choosing responsible men? SO HOW THE F U K is that my fault as a black man? SHUT THE HELL UP.

      • PeoplePlease7

        Young grasshopper when you mature and learn how to think and communicate as a grown man and write as an adult, you will learn that there are better ways to express emphasis without “TYPING LIKE THIS”. You responded with an emotional (feminine I may add) tirade in a frustrated tone and resorted to the use of the “CAPS LOCK” key instead of wisdom and logic.

        When you mature, you will realize that as men we are responsible for upholding, defending and policing our community. If someone dumps trash in my neighborhood, it is true I did not litter. It is equally true that a responsible man takes steps to ensure his community is litter free and doesn’t simply allow trash to accumulate. Pretty soon your neighborhood is a dump because you did not deal with the litterbugs. Great leaders like Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Garvey, Farrakhan, etc… took responsibility for not allowing litter to accumulate in our community. Those childish boys, like yourself, fear taking on a manly leadership role and don’t mind people littering your community with foolishness and ignorance. Men address all threats internally and externally, regardless of the race or gender of the source of the problem, and don’t tolerate foolishness in their sphere of influence. I, as a man,won’t allow my community to become a dump. Turn that Caps Lock button off “young grasshopper”

        • carolhicks

          Thank you so much for stepping up. You handled this with wisdom.

  • CriticXtreme

    She’s right! This me generation of over exposed fake hype has no etiquette or understanding of courting. It’s a lost art and for some of you being nice and not trying to hit the skins, is a sign of weakness, seen by some of you. Yet, the dude with 11 kids by other morons, bad breath and no place to live, you let hit the skins. Other evidence is that you hold the door for some women and they look at you with hate. Do a Chris Brown on them and they love you long time. Something is wrong and Rihanna publicly proved this ideology.

    • learnalesson

      It would be nice to know mothers of the upcoming generation are teaching their daughters to be respectable, use their brains and great personality, and not feel PRESSURED to look the best or be the most popular on FB or Twitter. When girls stop competing for the spotlight and respect themselves, then maybe young guys will recognize and APPRECIATE a quality young woman.

      • GM_I

        Yeah, im sure that would be nice…but as many men in America know, women dont like nice, so what ur sayin will never happen.

      • Kahekili

        That’s right. Men can’t do anything right unless a woman shows them how.

        • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony blak martian Tinney

          WOW, That remark was quite sexist.If i had said that about women,you all would`ve tried to rip my head off.Let`s agree at least to a sembelense of fairness,or is the blk women only allowed that privilidge?

          • Kahekili

            No, what is sexist is this: “When girls stop competing for the spotlight and respect themselves, then maybe young guys will recognize and APPRECIATE a quality young woman.” My comment was sarcasm.

            • http://www.facebook.com/people/Anthony-Muthapukkin-Tinney/100001244269956 Anthony blak martian Tinney

              I guess you have a point.No malice intended.

        • michael perry

          no your comment is still sexist. you say all men and that is a blanket racist statement even if you have a point. fix your attitude and your vibe will be better with the men that may or may not approach you.

    • MLS2698

      LOl! ” love you long time.” I’m looking for the OLD SKOOL COURTING, not this other crap. I’m older, so I can’t even fathom trying to love someone who doesn’t know how to open doors, and who beats my face.

    • Wait&SEE

      REAL women don’t want those losers. I’ll take a man who opens doors for me any day. I’ll take a man with brains and an honest bank account over a tattoo’d body, the flyest sneakers and a big di*k. The problem is these men seem to want hoes. Everybody’s caught up in the wrong things (dating strippers and wannabe IG models) and it’s getting people nowhere except too many children out of wedlock, no family morals, disease spreading and fatherless children. Soon there will be no government benefits and then what? It’s on now people.

  • mochaaa

    same can be said about guys in ny. whenever i complain about this people say it’s 2013.. like guys really do expect girls to make the first move all the time lol. its ridiculous.

    • Yesss Gawd

      And i feel like that’s a trick.. Especially for a good lookin man. Watch for the longing stares and making eyes… Wanting women to act thirsty. Usually these type COLLECT WOMEN. Aint nobody got time for that… A man who knows what he wants goes after it and treats it like he doesn’t want to lose out on it. And if you waitin for me to ask you out…u will be waiting! I don’t ask men out. Be a MAN! Lol

      • appassionata456

        COSIGN! My parents taught me to be a lady and let a man approach and pursue me. That doesn’t mean playing hard to get, it simply means giving a man room to take initiative. You don’t really know that a man wanted you (as opposed to wanting “someone”) unless he had to pursue you.

        If you take the time to drive to a restaurant, and bring your hard-earned money, it’s because you thought about what you wanted and decided on that place, to the exclusion of other options. But, if friends show up at your house with free food and you happen to be hungry, you’ll probably eat whatever is offered–whether or not it’s what you had a taste for–simply because it was free and you were hungry.

        That may seem like a crass analogy but for the most part it works. When you go out of your way to be available for a man, and he happens to be lonely/horny or whatever, he’ll take what he can get and still be on the lookout for what he REALLY wants. When he sees the woman he really wants, he pursues HER–and it won’t matter how long y’all were “hooking up”… (How many of us know women who had a “thing” with a man for months or years, then when she gives him an ultimatum, he leaves and pursues someone else, and then he’s married six months later? I personally know several cases…)

        It’s not all men’s fault; it’s not all women’s fault. But, as a woman I believe we should own up to our part of the equation. You can argue “Well, a man should do right just because it’s right!” and I would agree with you. However, this doesn’t change the fact that, by and large, men do what they are rewarded for doing. If a man is rewarded when he takes the path of least resistance–sitting on his a** and not approaching, calling at unreasonable hours or not calling at all, calling/texting at the last minute, not making any effort to plan a date, not spending even $2 out of his pocket, not having to even be seen with you in public around people he knows–then why should he do otherwise? If more men were rewarded for “doing right” then more of them would do right. But to expect men to “do right” just because is wishful thinking.

        • Kahekili

          “If more men were rewarded for “doing right” then more of them would do right. But to expect men to “do right” just because is wishful thinking.”

          Absolutely. It is just too much to ask that men do right on their own. They can’t function like an adult unless a woman is directing them to do so.

          “My parents taught me to be a lady and let a man approach and pursue me. ”

          Being a lady has nothing to do with letting a man approach you.

      • hsc179

        I hear what your sayin but it aint gon happen boo.What you wont do the next will.Simple as that.You can blame men and society for it being that way but the fact is why would a man go out his way for a women acting that hard to get and stuckup when he can get the next women just as pretty and less of a headache.No doubt giving it up easy aint the answer but playing that cat and mouse game wont help you get the man you want either.

        • yesss Gawd

          Well the NEXT woman can gladly have him BOO. Im worried about MY sanctity and MY PEACE. I dont sit around worried nights about what anybodys NEXT woman will do. Only what I will/wont do according to the plans God has for my life matter. People KILL me with going after peoples insecurities talking about what a NEXT will do…LET THEM. AND HAVE FUN!!! Looks arent everything…neither is sex…peace/happiness and love are what matters to me, and the man who is willing to give them without dangling who he can have NEXT over my head is the one who DESERVES them.

        • Kahekili

          Of course this conversation wouldn’t be complete without the ‘What you won’t do another woman will’ threat.

          • hsc179

            Yea I guess the truth hurts.

            • Kahekili

              I guess you just talk in cliches, huh?

    • Senait Ashenafi

      I know right. Some guy is always trying to give me his number. I just ignore him because I don’t call men first. Never have, never will. It could be 2065 and that practice for me would never change.

  • rita

    I like the premise, but I don’t really like the name of the show. Hopefully it gets changed before it airs. Might as well keep it simple: make the title “Issa” or whatever the name of her character on the show is.

  • Kim

    Ill be watching! I am apart of ABG nation and I LOVE SCANDAL, and Greys Anatomy. This is like the best duo!

  • Yeppers

    She not lying… I’m from the south, moved to LA. And it’s funny, it’s almost like they don’t have COMMON SENSE out here. Like 1+1 don’t equal 2. In LA… What 1+1 equals depends on all these different factors that they can’t explain… And I’m just lookin like naw it equal 2… Every time. Lmaooo

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/WO5B3PWGNW3OH3UBAPKDQNWL7A KillingIgnorance

      But she should be happy anyones paying attention to her UGLY A$$

      • STFU idiot

        STFU ignorant a$$. That is your opinion and your opinion truly doesn’t count.