Word? April Is National Garlic Month? 9 Random Or Crazy Holidays People Actually Observe In This Country

March 1, 2013  |  
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Americans like to celebrate everything. As my mother would say, every time you turn around, if there’s not a birthday, there’s a week, day or month dedicated to buying something, eating something or doing nothing at all. Sometimes the holidays and events have a good message behind them, as in one’s that promote awareness about health conditions or push the importance of loving yourself, but do we need a whole month to talk about how fab garlic is? That can go, as well as eight (the last one can stay) others that are a bit much in the random department…

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Be Kind To Your Food Servers Month

What were you doing in January? If you were being an a**hole to the person serving you food and taking your order at your favorite restaurants, then chances are, you knew nothing about “Be Kind To Your Food Servers Month.” The holiday, which pretty much explains itself through its title, shows love to the individuals who separate our eating experiences at the crib from the lavish ones where all we have to do is sit back and order folks around. Not that you need a reminder that lasts all month though. Shouldn’t you already be kind to them? But then again, with folks out here trying to write on receipts why they don’t want to tip what they owe, it might not be as random as we think…

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Root Canal Awareness Month

Oh snap, it’s coming up soon (March 17-23)! Defined as a time to make folks aware of Endodontists, get you excited and enthusiastic about dental health and to show people that root canals should not be feared. Root Canal Awareness Month definitely has good intentions, but let’s keep it real. As someone who has had a root canal, let’s not pretend that they’re not an uncomfortable mess that last more than an hour and leave you with a swollen jaw. I’m not trying to celebrate that mess.

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World Nekkid Bike Ride

If you ever wanted to hop on a bicycle without any clothes on and actually ride out into public with all eyes on your goodies, this event is for you. With the motto being “bare as you dare,” participants meet up and ride in a group on bicycles, skates and skateboards trying to promote a body positive world. You don’t have to be completely undressed to participate, but don’t be surprised at the a** and breasts wheeling past you even if you choose to not wear your birthday suit on the streets. It’s been done in Wisconsin, California, Oregon and abroad, just to name a few places. Be prepared come June for the nekkidness.

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National Umbrella Ride

I would be more inclined not to think this holiday was a random mess if I could actually find an umbrella that doesn’t flip inside out when I’m trying to escape the rain or hail. Anywho, the April holiday (“April showers bring May flowers” by the way) is to celebrate the inventions that are a pain in the a** to carry around but that keep us dry…if it’s not raining too hard.

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Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month

Just this past month, February that is, somebody somewhere was trying to observe a holiday designed to make you aware of the fact that you need to put your damn cart back where you originally got it from. I think we’ve all pulled into a supermarket or store and had to dodge flying carts, and even seen some chilling on the side of the road (or left one by our car instead of taking it back), so a simple reminder for the ratchet will do. However, if you’re feeling really celebratory, next February, while paying homage to those who made black history, also feel free to put a cart back where it belongs…

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Squirrel Awareness Day

Coming in at January 21, some folks show love to the bushy-tailed troublemakers of nature who you can find running up trees, running over fences and tearing up s**t. It’s also called Squirrel Appreciation Day, and according to some, you celebrate these little creatures by learning about squirrels, feeding a few, and according to some comment sections, folks are even buying cakes to celebrate the day with their families…naw, I’m good.

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NoShavember

You might have heard about this month dedicated to the hairy man, but in case you haven’t, it’s pretty simple. A man doesn’t shave his head nor his beard, or his wooly privates for an entire month, yet the rules for women were to shave our legs, and often. It’s actually getting more and more popular each year. That’s nice and all, but what’s up with ladies still having to pull the razor out while men can walk around looking like Harry from Harry and the Hendersons. Real talk, men aren’t required to do very much when it comes to hygiene (which needs to change), so do you really need a whole month to celebrate doing the absolute least?

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Confederate History Month

Looking to celebrate the former Confederate states? Hell no you say? Well, somebody is doing it, specifically in the South and April is usually the designated month. From Alabama to Texas and Virginia and more, some places have proclamations and everything to celebrate such a controversial holiday. But let’s be real, even if folks are trying to commemorate the states and the history, slavery is written all over that history and the fact that people don’t seem to really bat an eye about it come April pretty much sucks. As Alabama’s proclamation in 2010 said, “our recognition of Confederate history also recognizes that slavery was one of the causes of the war, an issue in the war, was ended by the war and slavery is hereby condemned.” Hmmm no recognition that it was a horrible institution though? BOOOOOO!

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National Leave The Office Early Day

Now this one I can rock with! Observed on June 1, the “holiday” is supposed to promote productivity so that you work double time to get assignments done so you can bolt out hours early and spend your time as you’d prefer. So no, you’re not supposed to thow your papers in the air, say “f**k this!” and walk out without worry that you won’t be fired because somebody is celebrating this day somewhere, but it’s to help you learn how to work faster. Whatever it is or is supposed to do, I’m milking it for all it’s worth come June…

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