Unexpected Things Women Notice In Online Dating Profiles

March 1, 2013  |  
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By now you know the obvious turn-off’s when it comes to online dating: shirtless photos, five pictures of your dog, leaving half of your profile empty and creating usernames that make you sound like the star of an adult film. But, like in real, non-cyber life, women are also analyzing you far more than you imagined in your online profile. Here’s what they look for.

"Teacher pf"

Poor grammar/spelling

If you know proper grammar and spelling, use it. Don’t be lazy. Spell check and proofread. Poor grammar and spelling says that you either don’t take online dating seriously, that you wrote your profile in a hurry or that you were drunk. Even worse it makes you look uneducated—a major turn off.

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Are you too hot?

Hey, you were born with what your mama gave you. But do you flaunt it too much? Women don’t like men who are aware of how good looking they are. Don’t overwhelm your profile with pictures of you in perfectly tailored outfits, in colors that compliment your hair and skin tone so well you’d think a stylist dressed you. Don’t put up professionally taken photos. And please do not put up any self-taken pics.

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Did you write too much?

While women appreciate a man who can express himself, writing more than a paragraph in the “About Me” section of your profile, or writing complete paragraphs in sections where one or two sentences would suffice, makes you seem either highly self involved, too in your head, nervous or even unstable.

"Guy on laptop pf"

Did you write too little?

Of course our greatest pet peeve when online dating is when men barely write anything at all. Women come across this all too often and, like the poor grammar issue, it makes it look like you don’t take online dating seriously. It can look like you’re not a very self-reflective person. It can even make it look as if you expect your appearance to do all the work for you.

"Man texting pf"

Do you use text talk?

Do you write things like LOL, ROFL, and IDK in your profile? This comes off as purely immature. Anyone who isn’t a teenage girl shouldn’t be writing LOL or ROFL very often anyways, but putting it in your online dating profile makes you seem careless about your profile. Really? You couldn’t just write out, “I don’t know” instead of IDK?

"Guy with dreadlocks pf"

Are you smiling?

We don’t care if you have crooked teeth or a bizarre looking smile—smile! It’s off putting to see a man who never smiles in his photos. Most women believe that a person who is unhappy in his photos is also unhappy in life. So show those teeth.

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Do you sell yourself?

Do you write what you have to offer to a partner? Or do you just talk about what you want out of a partner? If you only do the latter, it looks like you think you’re God’s gift to womankind, and a woman should feel grateful to have your attention. It makes it look as if you don’t think you have to put in any effort, and women should be falling over each other to try and meet the standards you list. It makes you look egotistical. Are you getting the idea yet?

"Men petting a dog pf"

Do you add your own flare?

For example, under what you like to do on the weekends, do you write “Movies, hike, drink” OR do you write, “I love looking for new, under the radar theaters in my town showing old or independent films, I also love taking my chubby bulldog to the beach and watching him waddle around in the waves!” Women consider you much more interesting, entertaining and self-aware if you can add personal detail to what you write.

"Man with cash rich pf"

Are you showing off your wealth?

You weren’t trying to showcase it, but your diamond-encrusted watch happened to be in a photo you put up. Women are wary of men who think they can “buy” them online, and are hyper sensitive to anything that makes it look like you’re trying to show off your wealth. Weed through your pictures and remove anything flashy—even if it’s accidental.

"Male and female friends pf"

Do you have a female friend?

Too many romantic comedies have shown us women that “BFFs” of the opposite sex fall in love with,after years of not realizing their soul mate was right in front of their nose! For this reason, leave pictures or mentions of your best female friend out of your profile. It’s okay that you have female friends, but having someone of the opposite sex come up in your profile is only distracting to women looking at it.

"Woman embarrassed and thinking pf"

Did you mention an ex?

You may think that telling a story in your profile about an ex is a useful way to portray what doesn’t work for you in a relationship. But the fact that that ex even showed up in your profile—even if it was in a negative light—says to onlookers that you’re not over that ex. What you feel strongly for her may be dislike, but you still feel strongly for her.

"Guys hanging out pf"

Are you physically affectionate?

You’re a guy so you and your friends don’t hold hands and kiss each other on the cheek like women do. But, you’re still physically affectionate with your male friends in a way—or maybe you’re not. Do you have any pictures in which you and a bunch of guys have your arms around each other’s shoulders? Maybe one where a group of your buddies playfully lifts you up? Or even one where you’re play wrestling with a friend? Women hope to see that. They’re put off by a bunch of pictures in which you’re seated with perfect posture amongst your friends, as if it’s a school portrait. A man who isn’t comfortable around his friends is often not comfortable with himself.

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Do you put down online dating?

If you say anything that indicates that you think you’re above online dating, or that you assume most people on online dating are weird/desperate, or that you’re jaded by the experience, most women will delete you. Why would they want to talk to someone who already expects to have a bad experience? Women want to talk to someone who respects the process of online dating, and who seems enthusiastic and hopeful about it. They don’t need your negative energy in a place (online) that is already a little daunting.

"black women talking laughing.pf"

Girls, women, ladies or chicks?

How do you refer to females? Calling them women implies that you respect them and view them as mature individuals, but it also might make you come off too serious. Calling them girls could say that you’re young at heart—considering us all just boys and girls forever—but it could also imply that you’re not looking for a life long companion. These are just good things to be aware of so if you use either of those terms in your profile, you can balance out the implications of them with what else you write. In general females do not like being referred to as chicks or ladies. This feels demeaning to us, and makes you sound like The Fonz, or worse, a douchebag.

 

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  • IllyPhilly

    I don’t believe anything I see posted online. I met my husbands’ thee old fashion way-through one night stands LOL. Just kidding.

  • MsLadyE

    Things I notice on online profiles:
    Putting a picture of yourself and your friends without identifying yourself in the picture: Sorry, but I’m not good with guessing games. Please identify yourself. For example, say something like, “I’m the one on the left, wearing the green shirt”.
    Writing in all capital/uppercase letters: Please don’t holler. I can hear you just fine.
    Leaving the About Me section blank/not answering the questions: How can I get to know you if you don’t say anything about yourself?
    Wearing sunglasses in your pictures: Please let me see how nice your eyes look.
    I don’t mind being called a woman or a lady. However, I don’t like being called a “female”.

  • Candacey Doris

    Everything on this list! I hate people trashing their exes, using text speak and not smiling the most. If they don’t write anything and all that is in the profile is what the site puts there then i don’t bother. And the guys who have pictures of their stacks of cash ( funniest thing is when the stacks are all ones) or their jewelry are just not doing it for anyone but the hood rats they say they hate. Don’t people read their own profile?

  • hollyw

    Selling himself/talking about an ex/flashing. Yes, yes, and YES! Nothing screams He-Man woman-Hater louder than a man who begins his About Me section with what type of woman he DOESN’T want, followed by the kind of woman he deserves/”better come correct”…add that to the same guy who’s also likely to put his $100,000+ salary up, and bash an ex…smh, you just gotta laugh in the end. Esp. when you know you’re exactly the woman he thinks he’s about to catch…

    Boy, BYE!

  • springtime

    Dont forget about men putting pics on profile where he is too casual with his male friends

    often when i see a man too close or touching on several through pics. A nervous energy

    moves thru me suggesting this bro is down low……Big turn off just saying

    • averygoodtime

      Yes, I feel the same way. I really don’t trust men anymore. Men these says cheat with other women and men. Men just lie.