How Casual Sex Is Keeping All Of Us Single

31 comments
February 27, 2013 ‐ By madamenoire
Source: Shutterstock

Source: Shutterstock

From Your Tango

By Alan Roger Currie

Whenever I engage in conversations with single men and women about dating and relationships, all I hear is whining and complaining directed at the behavior of the opposite sex.

Many women in today’s society will say, “I don’t need a man; I am fine just by myself.” To them I say: No, you are not. We were not given the opportunity to experience life on earth to be happy at home by ourselves. Men in today’s society will say, “I am never getting married. Marriage is for losers.”  But no, marriage is not for losers. I know many winners who love being married and have been married for many years.

So, why is there so much animosity and resentment among singles today?  Here’s the short answer to that question: It’s due to the increased prevalence of both premarital sex and short-term non-monogamous “casual” sex. In previous centuries, men and women always had their share of philosophical differences related to love, sex, dating and relationships, but members of both genders generally got along. Why? Because prior to the popularity of modern day birth control methods, men and women typically waited until marriage to have sex.

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  • Chef Santos

    One word – DUH.

  • Stanley 001

    “We were not given the opportunity to experience life on earth to be happy at home by ourselves. ”

    What the heck does that mean? Do you have problems understanding what an individual’s NEED is? Do you actually think you can define what makes another human being happy in life on earth?

    I’ll tell you this, billions of MEN and WOMEN have lived the earth without a partner. The POPE(s), my aunt, me, you and many, many more people have experienced long time on earth without anyone to love. If you are not happy without a partner, that’s you! You and everyone else have spent long part of life without a partner. If a partner was something anything couldn’t be without like WATER and FOOD, most of us would be dead by the time we turn 18. So, stop with that nonsense!

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  • sabrina

    Ain’t that the truth. I remember talking to my ex-boyfriend a few months ago and he was saying how now, in order to even want to be in a relationship, he has to have chex with his potential girls to see if he’s even chexually compatible with them. I’m just like what?! Apparently, some girls don’t care. Not I, though. Not I!

    • Nope

      I’ve noticed that women usually only admit to this if it turned into a relationship. Otherwise that stat usually gets omitted.

      • Nope

        …. wrong person…

    • Chey

      Crazy…any excuse to get the draws. The ol’ “Gotta test drive the car before you buy it” scheme.

    • Amija James

      Ummmmm, if that’s the case then men need to start pulling out their penises to see if it’s even worth having sex with!

  • kt

    I’m so tired of this argument. A good man is a good man, and a man that is interested in you in for the long haul just that, period. End of story. The clothes came off partially on my first date with my boyfriend, and we had sex on the second. Neither of us were particularly looking for anything long term. We’re now a few months shy of 2 years together. If it works, it works. All circumstances are different.

    • Nope

      I’ve noticed that women usually only admit to this if it turned into a relationship. Otherwise that stat usually gets omitted…

      • Amija James

        LOL! You ain’t ever lied! And how many times of doing this did it take her to get a man?

    • Chey

      She ratcheeet!

  • SheBe

    *le sigh* The article was good but the information presented was the same old same old. People simply choose NOT to do better. More women are now settling for the okie doke just to say they have a man. No prerequisites of any sort. The men who do have standards are finding it harder to find quality women themselves because too many are just tossing the yssup for nothing (too weak to turn it down). Our men have no father figures and being raised by only women (bless them) is not helping. They have a feminine emotional complex where they are losing the inherent ability to lead, provide, and protect adding to the weakness to do better. I’m not necessarily blaming our single mothers because God knows they are doing the best they can but this mentality of giving it up to any and everybody has to stop. Everyone has to make better choices.

    • Amija James

      Tell it!

    • Nope

      “Our men have no father figures and being raised by only women ”

      So this single parent household only have little boy in them, huh? Most women are also raised by women, and still make piss poor romantic decisions.

      • SheBe

        You missed my point entirely. And you are correct. Women make piss poor romantic desicions because there are no male role models in the home. It all works in a complete circle. It’s a cycle that is not going to end.

        • Nope

          “Women make piss poor romantic desicions because there are no male role models in the home.”

          And you missed my point. The little girls are also negatively influenced by the parent (oftentimes a mother/woman) that is in the home. And in some cases, that parent’s piss poor romantic decisions played a big part in that home being broken. I’m not defending absent fathers at all. But I do find it ironic that these ghosts get 100% of the blame for the cause and results of broken homes.

          • SheBe

            Oh I got your point. Now pookie tell me what better way is a woman to learn how to date / interact with men than to have a male role model to teach her? The mothers are learning from their mothers & so on & so on….

    • IllyPhilly

      Why is everything about somebody’s absentee father? There are men and women who come from two parent homes seeing positive romance and still hop from bed to bed with strangers in less than two hours.

  • Amija James

    This is true. Guys don’t have to wait for sex anymore. If he’s not having sex with you, he’s having sex with someone else while he waits for you to have sex.

    • Chey

      So true!

    • Nope

      Yup, and women are likely getting attention (which is just like sex for women) from someone else. But that part of the discussion is usually conveniently overlooked.

    • SheBe

      They don’t wait on you to have sex. They just move on to the one that won’t make him wait.

      • Nope

        Waiting, and waiting for you aren’t one and the same. What does a man not waiting for someone else have to do with you?

        • SheBe

          Oh sugar plum i thought I addressed which one i was referring to. He’s not waiting on a relationship with a woman that doesn’t give him the instant gratification he seeks (unless she is the one he wants but that hardly happens) and he is not waiting to have sex with her until she is ready either. Come on now love muffin. Stop being sensitive. Did you have a bad day?

          • Nope

            And women move on the whoever gives them the “instant gratification” of attention. Lets end the myth that most women wind up empty handed in their interactions with men.

            • SheBe

              Having an empty man does leave her empty handed. If he isn’t isht then what is she left with?

  • Stanley 001

    Here we go again!

  • Nope

    “Because prior to the popularity of modern day birth control methods, men and women typically waited until marriage to have sex.”

    False. This myth needs to end too.

    • guest

      You are somewhat correct,this is kind of false. There have always been people who engage in reckless sexual behavior.However promiscuity was far less wide spread. And waiting till marriage was not nearly as rare at is today…so its not a complete myth.

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