What I Look Like?! Favors You Should Never Let Anyone Guilt You Into

April 10, 2013  |  
Source: Shutterstock
Part of being friends with someone is being able to rely on one another when the going gets tough. Because of that, most of us say that there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for our best friends — or even close associates — but when it comes down to it, there’s some stuff that’s just outside of our comfort zone and, if done, will leave us feeling quite resentful and more on the side of frenemies rather than friends. Plus, even by asking these favors, our buddies are just doing too damn much. Here are favors you simply do not have to do if someone asks you to.
Souce: Shutterstock

Dog sitting

There’s a reason so many people consider their dogs to be their children — they require just about as much work! From walking and feeding, to making sure they don’t tear your house up, dogs are no easy undertaking. And though you may hate to leave your friend in a bind, don’t put yourself in one by taking on a lot more than you can handle with this favor.

 

Source: Shutterstock

Babysitting

See point one. Every parent lives for a night without the kids and it’s sweet to offer to provide that for friends. But unless its an emergency, don’t feel obligated to become a caretaker for other people’s kids, no matter the period of time. To put it simply, kids are a lot. Not only does your home need to be prepped for little ones, so does your brain. Don’t feel guilty saying no when you simply aren’t comfortable around children or (fake gasp!) don’t like them to begin with.

Source: Shutterstock

Being a bridesmaid

In theory, being a bridesmaid is the ultimate honor a girl can bestow on her girlfriends during this important time in her life. In reality, being a bridesmaids is costly, timely, and at times overwhelming. From dress fittings to planning and executing bridal showers and bachelorette parties, plus traveling to all of these events (particularly if you’re in a different city), when all is said and done you might be wondering, damn is this my wedding? It’s important to have the right attitude, in many ways, when you accept this role and if you don’t think you can come through, it’s better to say that in the beginning. The bride might be mad, but she’ll be furious if you don’t fulfill your obligation a week or two before the ceremony.

Source: Shutterstock

Borrowing money

You probably don’t even need to be told this, but hey if you don’t have it, you don’t have it. And even if you do, but you don’t think the person is going to pay you back, don’t lend it. Friends and money rarely mix. Saying no to someone asking to borrow cash might upset them but they have no choice but to accept that. If you don’t get your money back, however, you might decided to cut them off altogether. The friendship isn’t worth the risk.

source: Shutterstock

Taking extravagant trips

Along the same lines of the last point, people love to come up with plans for lavish 12-day vacations on Montego Bay and get pissed when everyone doesn’t have $3,000 of miscellaneous cash sitting around to be spent on this — let alone the vacation time. Friends can make you feel like a party pooper if you refuse to be the fourth person they need to get whatever Groupon Getaway they’re gunning for, but you know your wallet better than anyone else. They’ll just have to find another person to fill the spot or split the cost among one less person.

Source: Shutterstock

Cosigning

That word alone should cause a visceral reaction, because it’s alarming to even think of someone having the nerve to ask. But just in case you’re not sure if it’s OK to not help a friend get a mortgage or school loan or a freaking cell phone, it is.

Source: Shuttersock

Starting a business

When people think about fleeing corporate America and starting a business of their own, they often have grand ideas of what it would be like to work with close friends because if you get along so well on a day to day you can obviously work well together, right? Wrong.

It’s hard to match drive when it comes to entering into a business venture with other people. Someone may have their entire life savings on the line, while for the other partner this is just a pet project on the side. And when it comes to business decisions, things can get unnecessarily personal, causing both the relationship and the idea to fail. Feel free to lend a hand but you don’t have to jump in head first at this request.

Shutterstock

Moving in together

By all means, please don’t leave your friend homeless. But don’t feel obligated to immediately sign up for college roommate life either. Sometimes when friends are thinking about moving at the same time, someone brings up the bright idea of moving in together, and that’s usually not such a bright idea after all. If you know you like your own space, don’t sign up for something you’ll regret. A year or two of daily strain isn’t worth it and neither is your friendship. Also, don’t feel like you have to let someone move in with you for free when they fall on hard times. It’s always nice to give someone a leg to stand on, but when you hit certain time points, like three or six months, you may want to start asking them to help out financially if they can.

 

Source: Shutterstock

Borrowing your car

Nobody is going to take care of your belongings like you do, and for a lot of people their car is one of their top — and most expensive — possessions. Offer to lend a ride when you can but when someone hits you with, “why don’t you just let me drop you off and I can take the car and pick you back up,” turn that same question back on them. You don’t owe it to anyone to let them use your vehicle as if it’s theirs because it’s not.

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  • Borrowing car now thats a good one, thats also goes for your boyfriend… don’t let him guilt you into borrowing your car if your unsure either!

  • iHM

    Favors you should never let people GUILT you into: ALL OF THEM.
    Favors you should do because you care and want to help: ALL OF THEM.

  • Dbikinigirl

    So what’s wrong with once in a while going out of your way to help someone you call a friend? And if we should not do any of these, (except the expensive trip… I mean, how can anyone convince me to spend money I don’t have on something I didn’t budget for?) then what exactly is it okay for us to do? Remember, also that we could be the ones asking these favors. Imagine the feeling being turned down by someone we consider a true friend. Granted, there are those who take advantage of the relationship, but then, there are also those who genuinely need assistance.

    • tysandsnyc

      I always say give it as a gift, not as a loan, and try to claim it on your taxes.

      No one can predict hard times, but everyone must be accountable for their budget and try to pull themselves out of the hole they are in.

      I have fell on hard times due to the economy, irresponsibility, change in income, you name it! But I refuse to ask for friends for loans since I cherish the friends I have and never want money to come between us and them. Ever!

  • Nina

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    hen she was working that entry level job. Then got mad when I decided to
    go on without her. Now I’m making my own money and have a few employees
    while she trying to stretch her unemployment checks.

  • Akiko

    I don’t do favors.

    • iHM

      What a lovely friend you must be.

  • Keisha Samoht

    My uncle and his BAD a$$ son… he asked if i could watch him and my niece (sister’s child) at the same time for a whole weekend… i lied n said i had a paper 2 do, n got busted the Sunday my niece was to go home; cause they both came over to visit. i was like: 0_0

  • HoneyDipp

    Chile… I wish a mutha WOULD ask me to co-sign anything! Do people actually have the audacity to do such a thing???

    • Keisha Samoht

      Imma pay you back when i get my tax returns…

      • tysandsnyc

        Bïtch! I heard that many of times!

        Lol

    • tysandsnyc

      Do you know someone asked me this about a month ago? I làughed in their fàce because I thought they were jöking, but they weren’t. Oh, well… Learn how to control your büdget, böo! Bloop!

  • Guest

    Just say no.

  • Thankful

    Omg starting business thing is serious. I started one with my friend because I’m very entrepreneurial and since she lost her job I figured I can put money in both of our pockets. But I realized not everybody is meant to start their own, and some people feel more comfortable working for others. Even if we’re cool, when we’re working you’re suppose to be in business mode and she just wasn’t taking it seriously enough for me. I feel like if you’re making way more than minimum wage be on your job, but she had more tact when she was working that entry level job. Then got mad when I decided to go on without her. Now I’m making my own money and have a few employees while she trying to stretch her unemployment checks.

  • Ms. Kameria

    So basically….don’t do what you don’t want to do or feel uncomfortable doing (for others).

    Got it.

    Thanks

  • ThaVoiceoftheVoiceless

    I just learned the money situation the hard way. Loaned a friend $75 dollars a month ago to help them pay their water bill. Yep, haven’t heard anything from them since and have even resorted to ignoring me on Facebook and faking like they got their number changed.

    • Thankful

      I paid my friend’s phone bill $90 only because she was far along in her pregnancy at the time and I would’ve felt bad if something happened and she couldn’t contact anyone. I gave her a ear full first because I’m like how you laying up with this dude and he can’t even help with out and ya’ll about to have a baby! I was suppose to get my money when he got his check needless to say I never got my money. She tried to make it seem like because she was a new mother I wasn’t suppose to get my money back. I’m like that’s the decision you made. I fell out with her after that because I feel like be real. If you want money than say that. Don’t bs me with this “borrow” crap and then try and play dumb afterwards.

      • ThaVoiceoftheVoiceless

        I’m really tempted to head up to her job to get it, but I don’t want to start anything and get her in trouble or fired you know?

        • Thankful

          Since it was $75 you might want to go ahead and call it a loss. Trust me she will have a time that she really needs it and karma will not allow her to get it. Going up to her job would be a viable option if was a zero at the end. Triple digits deserve rash actions.

          • ThaVoiceoftheVoiceless

            Thankfully I didn’t loan her anymore than I did already, but your right.

        • Akiko

          The better option would be for to you take her to small claims court.

      • Herm Cain

        Like he said on Bronx tale look at that as a fee to get rid of a bad friend forever people like that never change she will burn you to you can’t accept anymore

    • Keisha Samoht

      paid my friends phone bill numerous times, helped her with rent, used to buy her baby diapers, h3ifer moved to Idaho….

      • ThaVoiceoftheVoiceless

        Did she repay any of it back?

        • Keisha Samoht

          Barely. Before i found out she left for Idaho she gave me i think 350 and took me to eat at the Grand Lux… I guess, but she know i aint doin a d*mn thang her no more. she need to stay her behind there.

    • Honesty

      Gave my friend $40 &he disappeared on me. Was always bragging about his DTE checks but when it came to my $40 vanished. $40 though.

  • Nikki

    By my late teens, I realized that there were people taking advantage of me and I was spreading myself too thin. Before I do someone a favor, I ask myself, “Would [insert name] do this for me?” and if I don’t see it happening, I kindly say no.