Serious Question: I Don’t Want To Taste Another Woman, So, When Should I Kiss Him?

30 comments
February 21, 2013 ‐ By
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Have you ever had a thought that was so troubling, you never really gave it a chance to manifest in your mind? You just pushed it to the back burner because it was too much to deal with. And your little plan to ignore this thought was working until someone said the very thing you didn’t want to think about.

This happened to me a couple of years ago when I was at my Aunt’s house for Thanksgiving. We were all sitting around having dinner when the standard questions of boyfriends came up. It was myself, my female cousin and my sister and my aunt went around the table asking each of us if we had one. We gave our answers. Maybe because we were all in various stages of unattachment at the time, my aunt took that as a sign to transition into the also standard, “these men are no good” speech. She spouted off a couple of cliches about how scandalous they are, how they generally can’t be trusted and what not. And then she said it, “And the way everybody is licking everybody else these days, I wouldn’t even kiss them. I’d be tasting another woman! 

NOOoooo! That was it. That was the thought I’d repeatedly pushed to the back of my mind. I didn’t want to have to deal with the thought of second-hand kissing another woman’s poon. Jesus Christ. But now it was on the table. We all groaned in disgust and settled in for the discussion. That thought and subsequent conversation forced me to ask myself how close had I been to other women through a carpet munching man?

Admittedly, I’ve kissed men without establishing exclusivity first, it could have easily happened… like every time. The thought still makes me shudder. My lip is literally on curl as I type this. But the truth is, I kinda want/need to kiss a man before I establish exclusivity. I’ve been into men and then the first kiss proved that there was no way in hell it was ever going to work. I wouldn’t want to bypass that crucial step.

I remember in high school, I was eavesdropping on someone’s conversation as this girl passed around a picture of herself kissing her boyfriend. When her friend looked at the picture, she noted that the girl’s eyes weren’t all the way closed. She said, “My grandmother always told me if you don’t kiss him with your eyes closed, that means you don’t trust him.” I’ll never forget that little nugget. It was so interesting to me. I would later discover that personally, I prefer kissing with my eyes open. Not because I’ve never trusted the men I’ve kissed, but because I like watching their reactions. I’m nosey and maybe I don’t want to relinquish all control. (Sounds kinda like trust issues…but whatever.) We were having a conversation to this affect at work one day, when one of my coworkers said in response, “Well, if you can’t surrender, then you shouldn’t be kissing him in the first place.” Goodness! The list of eligible men to kiss was getting smaller and smaller everyday!

I have to trust him. We have to be exclusive. Both of our eyes have to be closed.

Do you know how long it takes to really trust a man? Some would say years. Realistically, the number of men who would wait years to kiss a woman they’re dating is slim, very slim. Unless he was one of those people who didn’t believe in kissing until marriage, I’m sure he would take it as an indication you didn’t like him at all and would move on.

So, in addition to providing yet another reason why dating sucks…balls, I’ve also posed this question: When should you kiss a man? When you know he’s not licking anyone else’s snatch? When you trust him? When you can keep your eyes closed? Inquiring minds want to know. And when you leave your ideal answer, also be sure to tell us whether you’ve always followed that “rule” in your dating life.

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  • Royaltee

    This article sounds like it was written by a teenager

  • Babydoll 70

    You can be married and he could be cheating without your knowledge sooooo what does this article accomplish?

  • QSTORM

    Oh lawdhammercy!!!! GTFOHWTBS!!! Nowadays there are just as many women eating “poon” as men. So in theory, men should be just as concerned when they kiss women. Also where is the article that asks how long men should wait to kiss dick-sucking, cum-swallowing women? Or are we more concerned with making men look untrustworthy. Gee-whiz!!

  • Cinnamon71

    It boils down to basic hygiene 101 with me. If a man doesn’t/won’t maintain oral/body hygiene on a daily basis, that is a problem that is a serious deal breaker.

  • Sagittarius81

    Oh wow really, over a kiss?!

  • Sagittarius81

    Oh wow really, over a kiss?!

  • Kahekili

    I’ve never thought anything like this and I think it is silly.

  • Kahekili

    I’ve never thought anything like this and I think it is silly.

  • L-Boogie

    Dammit, kiss. This ish right here is ridiculos.

  • Your Not So Average Girl

    This by far is one of the most dumbest article I’ve ever read. Like seriously you depict a whole relationship off of a kiss???? That’s like saying “Oh because he foot is small he has a small d***”?? DUMB. Why not focus on the ish that really matters like whether you too connect or not. Trust Issues???? No honey you have bitter woman brainwashed syndrome. And you wonder why (and here is a guess but I’m probably right) you are still single!!! SMH

    • Kahekili

      “This by far is one of the most dumbest article I’ve ever read”

      Lol at you stating ‘most dumbest’. It’s either ‘most dumb’ or ‘the dumbest’.

      Why do people act like a woman being single is some type of disease or something?
      Reading the comments on this site, one would be inclined to think every woman is ‘bitter’ whether that is accurate or not.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1438551270 Jessica Lucinda Williams

        I think it’s because the author brought up some facts that some of us don’t want to think about. But she’s right. That’s what happens when we share ourselves with whoever, whenever.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1438551270 Jessica Lucinda Williams

        I think it’s because the author brought up some facts that some of us don’t want to think about. But she’s right. That’s what happens when we share ourselves with whoever, whenever.

    • Kahekili

      “This by far is one of the most dumbest article I’ve ever read”

      Lol at you stating ‘most dumbest’. It’s either ‘most dumb’ or ‘the dumbest’.

      Why do people act like a woman being single is some type of disease or something?
      Reading the comments on this site, one would be inclined to think every woman is ‘bitter’ whether that is accurate or not.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jdrana Jaye Es Bellisima

    Eww… Veronica you could’ve kept that one to yourself.

  • MLS2698

    So the real question is : How do you avoid getting genital herpes of the mouth? And some other STIs I won’t mention.

    • Mel

      thank you! Im surprised so many people on here are criticizing the article for being ‘dumb’. I guess it’s just not that important to them, but it’s a topic I’ve always thought about. I don’t believe in pre-marital sex, but I also had to take a step back and really think about how quickly and easily you should be kissing people.

      It’s actually a really personal and intimate thing, and I think people these days take it way, way, way too fast.

      • Babydoll 70

        Well, if you look at it, it is kind of dumb (not trying to lookout for your health) but seriously think about it. If you’re married and your husband is stepping out and he’s coming home kissing you; how are you to avoid getting herpes in the mouth or any STI’s? The only way to truly avoid it is to stop kissing altogether or join a monestary.

    • Real Talk Friday

      I don’t think it’s a dumb question I’m just saying don’t act like you have not had a D*ck or two in ya mouth before meeting your man.. That us why I think it’s dumb.. If that is the case we would never kiss..

  • kierah

    Please exit the dating pool. You and your auntie ain’t ready!

  • Danielle

    This post was stupid. If you don’t have anything to write about, its better not to write at all.

  • sabrina

    I actually never thought about it…but I would kiss a man when I feel comfortable enough to kiss him, whether it’s after one date or three. In my younger days, can’t even lie, I kissed guys that I just met at parties. But now…I would never!

  • Real Talk Thursday

    Hold on Hold on.. I had to read this 2 or 3 times to get this right. You worried about kiss a man cause he has went down on other woman.. How many d*cks have she had in her mouth. This is why woman can’t find a man.. Woman don’t know what the hell they want. I will keep it real. If you kiss me then you have kissed plenty of poon… Cause I don’t beat.. If I can’t eat..IJS..

    • Your Not So Average Girl

      Me being a woman myself I completely agree. Its said that that one little small thing is proven to be pivatol to her I mean honestly “poon” its going to be on his lips forever it is called washing the face and brushing the teeth.

    • IllyPhilly

      I laughed so hard at all of this I think I just gave birth to a baby that came out cracking up.

      • blkrazor45

        ROTFLMAO!!

    • Kahekili

      “This is why woman can’t find a man.. Woman don’t know what the hell they want.”

      Why do I feel that you were probably just itching to say this?

    • Kahekili

      “This is why woman can’t find a man.. Woman don’t know what the hell they want.”

      Why do I feel that you were probably just itching to say this?