Hide Your Wallet, Hide Your Kindle: 11 People You’ll Find On Public Transportation (And A Few To Avoid At All Costs)

February 19, 2013 ‐ By Clarke Gail Baines

"Get that seat!"

The Seat Squeezer

You know what might happen when you sit down on the outside of a seat of three–someone might try and sit in the middle between you and another passenger. However, when it’s winter and your coat is puffy, or your thigh is moving into that middle seat, you only hope that folks will realize that standing is the best option. But find yourself in the pre or post-work rush and somebody will eye the seat between you, think about it to decide if the pending discomfort is worth it, and then decide to use their big ‘ol hips to pop a squat between you. And in the end, they don’t feel bad, sad or any kind of way at all because they finally get to rest their feet. Unfortunately, they are able to do so by squishing your body up against a pole in the process. If your body don’t fit, you can’t sit!

MadameNoire Video

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  • Di

    It took everything in me not to crack up at work. SO ACCURATE. Can’t forget the people who are looking to start trouble because you crossed their line of vision. They don’t even say anything to you they either say it out loud like ‘if this B looks at me one more time’ or to their friends. 2/3/4/5 subways are the WORST during or after school hours.

  • UGH

    I’m so glad I don’t have to take public transportation any more. My commute was two hours door to door. I’ve dealt with everything. My major pet peeve was the person that didn’t have proper seating etiquette. That person that would sit all close. Like give me some damn space.

  • Nice girl

    I hate when the subway is crowded and sometimes decides to pass gas repeatedly and pretend like its not them…okay seriously.

  • rei

    This list is so accurate! I use public transit in Charlotte and have experienced everything on this list at least once. Blasting music and loud phone conversations irks me the most.

  • WhoMe

    Bums that make the cars smell. And how they sleep on the seats taking up space.

  • Candacey Doris

    People with bad hygiene and gropers are the worst! I honestly can’t tell who is worse because you can kick a groper’s butt but you can’t beat someone up because they didn’t shower.

  • sabrina

    Girl, it sure is a jungle out there on the train. Those young boys who love swinging from poles (nearly kicking people in the face) while dancing used to just irk me sooo much. One of the worst are definitely the ones who blast ratchet and obscene music so loud and rap each and every cuss-filled lyric along with it. It’s like…who raised you?!

    And I would rather get out and risk waiting for another train than waiting one stop in a putrid-smelling train cart.

  • kierah

    There is a guy on the A train that sells nutcrackers of all flavors, reminding folk it’s a long way out to the Rock! You need something to keep you warm. And people buy this concoctions that a stranger brewed and bottled in quarter water containers! Folks are really pressed for alcohol on the A train.

    • Angee

      Yessss I see him all the time. “Get your nutcracker here folks. I know you’re trying to listen to your “Minaj Nicki” but it’s a long ride to Far Rock.” I was dying the first time I heard him.

  • thatonegirl

    How about those people who feel like there bag needs a seat in a crowded bus or train? Like really your not the only one that’s worked all day.

    • Karibe4lyfe

      @thatonegirl: so

  • FromUR2UB

    Those guys who press up against women on crowded transportation. What would happen if the woman turned to face him…looked directly in his eyes, no smile? Fortunately I’ve never run into one of those perves.

  • Kahekili

    I tend to wear coats wear coats or jackets that have inside pockets and that is where I keep my wallet.

    I try to avoid sitting next to other people, especially men.