How To Charm Every Type Of Guy You Meet On The Dating Scene
When two people really get to know each other, all the surface things like hobbies, work, and background don’t matter. Just think of your friends. You probably have an eclectic crew with vastly different interests, who still somehow love to get together for drinks once a week. But as life goes, you need to exploit the surface things to gain someone’s interest in the first place. Here’s how to do this with 14 types of guys you’ll inevitably encounter on the dating scene.
The comedian wants what he doesn’t have. He wants sensitivity, he wants to feel grounded, he wants to be with someone who will bring him back down to earth when he struggles to take things seriously. Essentially, he wants a mother figure. So go ahead: be a little nagging. Oh and do not compete with the comedian. He wants to be the funny one. Be his rock.
The tree hugger
While it may be tempting to go vegan, wear hemp and hike every Sunday to impress the tree hugger, nothing is less attractive than being fake. If you lead a different lifestyle be open about it. Be willing to tease all your clothes made in China and your junk food eating ways. If you are open about your less-than-hippie lifestyle the tree hugger will feel comfortable being with you.
Some men have a wandering soul and have to travel all the time. This doesn’t mean they’re trying to escape you. It just means they’re explorers. When they’re away they want to be away both physically and mentally, so don’t harass the sojourner with multiple texts and calls when he’s on his trips. You have to have faith that he’ll be loyal and you have to give him the freedom to experience his experiences to the fullest. He will appreciate you for this and he will miss you more while he’s away.
The workaholic is a tricky one. You have to understand his moods. When he is truly mentally involved in something work related and you can tell he is stressed, do not try to pull him out of that. Let him be. Let him work it out. He will feel you do not take his work seriously if you’re always trying to make a joke or have fun when he is stressed. However learn when he will be receptive to you taking his mind off things because he does need that occasionally. He will appreciate a woman who knows how to get him to unwind at the right time, in the right way.
The creative type
Understand that when dating a creative type —say a writer or a musician— they cannot choose when the creative urge hits them. They cannot schedule when they will be creative. If they want to stay up all night because they’re excited about an idea you have to let them. But they, like the comedian, want someone to ground them. Be sure to keep them on track with practical matters like finances, how to make money off of their creative work and how to be a professional.
Do not criticize the homebody for being an introvert. He does not criticize you for being an extrovert, does he? Do not try to force him into your social ways. He’ll resent you for this. Simply continue enjoying your lifestyle of going out with friends and going out to bars. Just cut out time to be with the homebody. Require of course that occasionally he comes out with you and your friends because you must be involved in each other lives to feel a connection.
The social butterfly
To handle the social butterfly you must put all jealousy issues aside. He will be out among other women, often dressed up, being charming and getting a little drunk. But if you trust him, you have to trust he will draw the line where he has to with other women. The social butterfly will appreciate having a solid loyal girlfriend to be with on his more mellow days. If you want him to truly appreciate being with you on those days you need to let him be social when he feels like it.
This is the man who doesn’t understand the term “Metro,” the man who drinks beers and watches football religiously, and the man who maybe goes hunting with his father. There’s something wholesome about this man. He is dependable. He is a real man and makes you feel like a real woman. However, he won’t want to go with you to gallery openings or happy hours or sales at Fred Segal. Be able to tease your differences, but do so lovingly. Find other people to go do your trendy activities with because if you drag your All-American man with you to those, you’ll lose what you loved about him. It’s hard to find a man today who doesn’t wear tight jeans, have 3000 followers on twitter and know the name of every up-and-coming DJ. Cherish that.
Oh how we all love a charming accent. But it’s tempting when we date a foreigner to try and pretend to be cultured, worldly and almost above our own culture. Remain comfortable with who you are. Be willing to tease your cultural differences. Don’t try to acclimate to his ways or get him to acclimate to yours. Remember you’re a foreigner to him too, and that’s cute. So don’t try to change.
If you must pursue a man who claims he does not want to be tied down consider him like the comedian: he seeks his opposite. He interacts with tons of outgoing, promiscuous overly confident women all the time. To him they’re just his competitors. When seeking a partner he wants someone with partner qualities—someone sweet, someone loyal, someone honest who does not play games. In essence you have to kill the womanizer with kindness. Remind him what he’s missing when he’s out at single bars all the time.
The yachting, country clubbing, plaid wearing guy
This man runs on impressing people so to keep his attention do not be impressed. Do not be impressed by his yacht or his beautiful golf club membership. Tease his salmon pants and white linen blazers. A man like this, who puts on such a big attitude, really just wants a woman to keep him humble. Drag him to dive bars. Make him uncomfortable. Challenge him. He wants that.
You have to act genuinely interested in the nerd’s interest because all nerds are rather insecure about their video game playing, Game of Thrones jargon ways. So before you go about trying to bring your nerd out of his shell, you have to show that you appreciate and enjoy his interests so that when you finally do try to introduce him to new things he doesn’t feel that it’s because he wasn’t good enough.
The club goer lives a lifestyle that is hard to keep up with. Multi-hundred dollar tickets, too expensive music festivals, the occasional recreational drugs, staying up all night, sleeping all day, sleeping in tents, wearing the same clothes for days in a row. You don’t have to do all this to be with this guy but you have to be able to hang. Come along to the festival but book a hotel room for the two of you. Go to sleep when you have to. Join in when you can.
The older guy
If you blatantly try to act more mature or older than you are, this will only highlight the age difference. The older guy will feel ashamed of that age difference because clearly you are, since you’re trying to cover it up. Be willing to poke fun at the things that come up due to your age differences. Call him an “old man” when he acts like it. And, add a little youth to his life by bringing him to “younger” events—that’s part of the reason he’s dating you to begin with! He wants to be back in touch with the younger scene.