Double Standards Men Just Have To Deal With (*Kanye Shrug*)

February 19, 2013  |  
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Somewhere along the line the term “double standard” became accepted as only applicable to women. But there are plenty of, “Wait a minute…that’s not fair!” moments that men experience. They may not tell women because women would feel offended —even though women can point out double standards against them left and right. Consider that double standard #1. And here are the rest.

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In the breakup, the man is the jerk

Think about this: when your friend leaves a guy, it is because he was a jerk, right? And if he leaves her, it’s because he was a jerk, right? Men can never walk away from a relationship as the winners. But have you thought about this: that jerk didn’t force your friend to date him. That was her decision. He was always who he is, and who he is didn’t work for the girl. She was (sorry to say it) dumb enough to get involved with him in the first place.

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Men must always pay

If a man asks for the date, he’s expected to pay. But if a woman asks for the date, the man is still expected to pay. Any event/activity that requires money is essentially put on him—he didn’t ask for it—and he still has to pay.

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Men have to do all the asking

If a man waits an entire week to text/call/ask out a woman, he was lazy, or failed to show interest. It’s equally scary for both parties to make themselves vulnerable and call/ask out someone who they still don’t know totally likes them. And yet, men are expected to charge into that scary territory and if they don’t they’re jerks/not interested. Meanwhile women are praised for playing hard to get and not texting or calling. But playing hard to get is the easiest thing in the world! It means sitting back and letting someone else do all the work.

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If a man cheats, he’s a pig; if a woman cheats, she was neglected

If a man cheats, it’s always attributed to his unquenchable thirst for sex. It must have been all about having a hookup for the night. It has nothing to do with problems in his relationship. If a woman cheats, everyone automatically assumes it’s because her partner was insensitive or neglecting her in some way. And that forced her to look elsewhere to fill her needs. There you have it: women, apparently, have no choice but to cheat. Men are just selfish jerks.

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Men can’t have female friends; women can have male friends

Women will assure you that they have complete command over their feelings at all times and would never cross the line—emotionally or physically—with a male friend. They claim that once they put a man in the friend’s box, he stays there. However, if a man has female friends, all of those friendships are questioned. His girlfriend will say that he must be attracted to his female friends, and that he is at risk of giving into temptation with one of them one night.

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Women are friendly; men are flirty

If a man simply sparks up a conversation with a woman, he must have an agenda of getting a phone number, or getting into a woman’s pants. If a woman starts talking to a guy, or at least encourages his advances, she is just “being friendly.” In other words, women can go around striking up conversation whenever they feel lonely or social, without any negative responses. Men constantly get cold shoulders and the “I have a boyfriend” line simply by saying “hi.”

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Women care; men are critical

When a man asks a woman how her day went, how an interview went, or if she applied to any new jobs, or how a project at work is going, he’s considered critical. The woman feels that he is checking to see if she is working hard enough, being ambitious enough and staying on track. And so she gets irritated. But a woman can ask how and where every minute of a man’s day was spent, and it’s all under the light that she cares.

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Men are whipped; women are lucky

It’s perfectly normal for a woman to ask for more time with her man. Sure, she may be labeled as “needy” or “clingy” but it fits within her gender role to ask for one-on-one time. If a man agrees to spend more time with his girlfriend he is seen as “whipped” or as “giving in.” His friends question his manhood if he just simply wants more nights in with his girlfriend.

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Men are players; women are being smart

If two people have just begun dating and it’s discovered the man is seeing multiple people, he’s a player, a jerk and promiscuous. If the woman resists putting all her eggs in the basket and entertains multiple suitors, she is being smart and looking out for herself.

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Men are mean; women are assertive

If a man chews a waitress out for being rude or sloppy, he is mean, rude and insensitive. If a man tells his girlfriend she is being out of line in any way, he is being mean. If a woman tells off that same waitress, or tells her man when he is being out of line, she is praised for being assertive, communicative and strong.

 

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A man needs a therapist; a woman needs a different lover

If a man has trouble performing sexually or reaching the mountain top per say, he must have some deep emotional or psychological issues that need to be addressed. If a woman struggles to release, it’s always her partner’s fault.

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Women are teasing; men are insensitive

Women regularly will grab their men’s love handles and say, “Somebody’s been drinking a few too many” in a cute, sing songy voice that is somehow supposed to make those words okay. If the man is offended, the woman accuses him of being too sensitive or even “girly.” She’ll say she’s “just teasing.” If a man tells a woman she’s put on weight. Game. Over. World War III. Couples Therapy Is Required.

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A woman is focused; a man is being lazy

If a man takes half a day to respond to a woman’s text, he is a lazy boyfriend. He is neglecting his partner. He isn’t making enough effort to sliver out the time to dedicate to his partner. If a woman takes half a day to respond, she is praised for being focused on her work and her own life, and not letting her relationship interfere with it.

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Men are troubled; women are open

On a first date, if a man shares stories about his childhood traumas, or a fight he is in with his parents, or the anger he has towards his boss, he is considered “troubled.” He is judged as unstable, and perhaps harboring anger issues and emotional hang-ups. If a woman shares intimate details of her life, she is “open.” She is “just comfortable” with her life and her story.

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