Double Standards Men Just Have To Deal With (*Kanye Shrug*)

32 comments
February 19, 2013 ‐ By Julia Austin

 

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Somewhere along the line the term “double standard” became accepted as only applicable to women. But there are plenty of, “Wait a minute…that’s not fair!” moments that men experience. They may not tell women because women would feel offended —even though women can point out double standards against them left and right. Consider that double standard #1. And here are the rest.

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  • webx

    Some of these are actually backlash from previous double-standards. For instance, “A man is aggressive, a woman is assertive” is almost backlash from the prior “A man is a stern leader, a woman is a B&*()”

    But one thing I can certainly say about these kinds of articles: It makes it TONS easier to talk calmly about things against women when your own side is also considered. Had this ended with “but they are just whiners”, I would not have called out the above. Empathy creates empathy, and I try to make that my stance on gender issues. Thanks for the article!

  • hollyw

    So, all of these stereotypes are DEF in existence…but why men should “just have to deal with…”?? Ya lost me =|

    • webx

      That was the first double standard she mentioned, actually.

      Guys have to “deal with it” because we have no medium with which we can bring it up and be taken seriously. Some other guys might understand. But generally, you’ll be hearing “just deal with it, dude. Nobody likes a whiner” from men and often a very backhanded or condescending remark from women about how men have no right to talk about such issues or how “men did it to ourselves”. We don’t have a movement that puts these kinds of things in textbooks. Therefore they don’t exist.

      I believe that’s what the Kanye shrug is for?

  • Kahekili

    Come on, now. This is ridiculous.

  • CC

    I think all of you have valid points, however, THEY ARE STILL OPINIONS!!! I feel you are only going by your personal experiences which is fine, like someone said we are all human, man or woman. I think what the author is trying to say is these are justifications that women make for the noted situations and most other women will agree. Women that have had a different experience in that area are likely to disagree. Oh well, btw, my birthday is tomorrow!!! :)

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/PC3VICMILDFDI2RKWVJQ5ACD24 jason

      my bday is today!

      • CC

        Happy Birthday Jason!!!

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/PC3VICMILDFDI2RKWVJQ5ACD24 jason

          ty! 1 year closer to 40 ((sigh)) lol

          • CC

            Ha ha, me too, I’ll be the big/little 3-2!!! Still have a few more before I start wrinkling though (O_O)……. yw :)

            • hollyw

              LMBO ya’ll are RIDICULOUS.

  • Candacey Doris

    I don;t think this article is 100%.. Cheaters are cheaters no matter what. Having friends of the opposite sex depends on the person. Some people just can’t keep someone in the friend box. A lot of these double standards have to do with people who like to make excuses rather than face reality.

  • wow

    As a female I find this whole article completely backwards.

    • Stanley 001

      As a man I hate it.

    • Kahekili

      What kind of ‘female’ are you?

      • hollyw

        …what “kind”?? Boy, bye.

        • Kahekili

          ‘Females’ can be animals or humans.

    • Keisha Samoht

      its very condescending to me, most i agreed some i was like Huh?

  • Tonyoardee

    As a man i applaud this post, in relationship quarrels its always is our fault and especially the cheating thing, its like society believes women cant be deviant. The sexual imperfections post was spot on to, f hes not sexually satisfied its his fault, if shes not sexually satisfied its still his fault WTF!!?!?!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/PC3VICMILDFDI2RKWVJQ5ACD24 jason

    Yea the women cheating thing i’ll never understand. Here we are in 2013 and when it comes to affairs its still always the mans fault. I have yet at 37 years old to hear 1 single woman say “yea i cheated because i wanted to and it had nothing to do with my hubby/bf”. wth?!

    • Nope

      I’ve never heard a woman admit to any speck of fault in a failed relationship period, even if infidelity wasn’t a factor.

    • rosetta’s stoned

      A woman wont say that because men and women are two different creatures. If a woman is a in a fulfilling relationship she has no reason to cheat. Woman a men DO cheat for different reasons, This Does NOT make it right at all but this is true. I am a woman and we all think alike. Any woman who disagrees is lying. If a woman is in a decent, fulfilling relationship with her significant other, explain to me why she would have to cheat?

      • !!!!!!!!!!!!!

        All women do not think alike..we are not all cut from the same cloth!!!!!!!!

      • OHHH

        Same reason why a man who is in a decent, fulfiling relationship with his significant other would cheat. Cheating is a HUMAN character flaw not your significant other’s fault. The reason why a person would cheat is because he or she is dishonest and disloyal, got nothing to do with having a fulfilling relationship or not. It’s just like lying and stealing. It’s a HUMAN FLAW.

        • Rosetta’s Stoned

          A man will cheat “just because.” A woman will NOT. SORRY we’re not built that way.

          • Kahekili

            A man will cheat because he has been socialized to think that having sex with multiple women is a sign of real manhood, not because they are ‘built’ that way.

            • rosetta’s stoned

              Correct

          • Nope

            Men cheat for sex. Women cheat for attention, which includes intimate conversations with another man, even if sex doesn’t take place.

            • webx

              As I’ve been studying, Men cheat for sex, or other aspect of intimacy or love. Women, on the other hand……Do the exact same thing.

              We’re built to be incredibly emotionally, and even sexually, intimate with tribes of, like, 20 people. The average hunter-gatherer is closer to their tribe than the probably the closest married couples.

              And sex was certainly something that happened much, MUCH more.

              We’re sexually starved, so we try to hoard whatever sex we can get, and break rules to get more sex. It’s why cheating is such a monstrous betrayal, yet at the same time, why it’s so freaking common.

      • Kahekili

        Women and men are not two different creatures. That kind of thinking is why there are so many issues in the first place. Furthermore, all of us women do not think alike. Any woman who disagrees with you is not lying.

        • webx

          I think that when people are much closer together, women’s emotional and comfort requirements for sex are met to a much greater degree. In such a case, a man’s comparatively heavier emphasis on appearance isn’t much of an issue.

          Take out the bonding between people, and you end up with a lot of women who want sex, but not with anyone they know of, and guys who have constantly active libidos who feel frustrated by women’s apparent lack of interest.

          That’s how I see it, anyway.

          • webx

            The point I meant to make is that men and women have naturally balanced libidos. Women used to be considered the “insatiable ones” until Darwin’s Origin of the Species compared humans to Chimps, in which males are always sexually starved to insanity, and the females only have sex to get food from the males.

            Imagine had he discovered the Bonobos instead.

  • Nope

    I endorse this article.

No thanks