Serious Question: When You’re Cougaring, How Young Is Too Young?

February 15, 2013  |  


Source: Fox

My aunt, who is 45 years old, has never been married, never had children and is still out there on the dating scene. Recently, she and one of her friends from college, went out for a night on the town. My aunt, who’s always been a bit on the wild side ended up getting quite drunk. As she was ordering another round, she noticed that the bartender was fione. So, being the outgoing woman she is, she told him. “You are sooo cute!” And after she told him, she handed him her card. Never expecting him to call.

But he did.

He asked her out. They had a wonderful time. But during the course of the date,she realized that her bartender boo was 30 years old, 15 years younger than her.

When my aunt learned this little piece of information, she also noticed that he didn’t ask her her age. So she didn’t volunteer it. She’s definitely lying by omission for right now; but should the time come where he asks how old she is, she’ll gladly tell him that she’s fifteen years older than him. In the meantime, she’s considering whether or not she should even continue seeing this man. We all kind of like the idea of being a cougar; but when you’re out here on the prowl, what is the cut off age for dating someone younger. 10 years? 15 years? 20years?

Have you ever dated someone younger than you? What was your experience? How young is too young?

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • demecho

    Why do we call them “cougars” anyways. What is the corrolation to cougars in the wild ? Just curious …

  • SexNdaCity

    I don’t think I could ever date a guy younger than me. It just feels weird. I’m in my late 20’s and would feel weird dating someone who is like 18 or 21 or whatever. So I know it has got to be weird for a 40 something year old like J.Lo or whoever to so. But I always say to each their own.

  • R!-Goddamn-Diculous

    As long as theyre 18 and over and you have no children too close to their age…..

  • Lola

    I’m 40 and dating a 19 year…… se* I’ve ever had in my whole life. I was married and it wasn’t even close to this. This white boy is so dam* good

    • Drew Smith

      Enjoy, ma’am Well, until he wants kids, that is…

  • Well, I’m in my early 20s, so I really can’t date anyone younger than me. I prefer them a little older anyway (not freaky old though). But I definitely think there is a limit. It’s true that love can happen under unusual circumstances, but if you’re dating someone young enough to be your son/daughter, or you child’s boyfriend/girlfriend, something isn’t right there.

  • As long as both are of the legal age of consent. I see no problem with it. As far as maturity goes you have men and women 30+ who still act like they’re in highschool and younger people who are mature for their age.

  • Meyaka

    I only dated older men,and married someone older than me,I can’t deal with young men.

  • repressed women should not hate on the cougars or the older men who like younger women. it takes all types to make the world go round and cougars are having a ball. There are times when I prefer cougars, times I do not.

  • maggie

    I have always said that I would never take a younger man seriously BUT the one I am seeing is a brotha who is 3 years younger (30 years old), has a master’s, no children, good job, tall and grew up with 2 parents. I don’t think I can pass that opportunity up. I have no children as well, obtaining a doctorate this year, grew up with 2 parents and 5’7″ without heels. And both of us going this far says a little bit about character and discipline. Swag.

    • Drew Smith

      Exactly who are you trying to convince here?

      • demecho

        Agree, agree & agree again

  • I dated a man five years younger. Not sure if I should go lower than that. But ironically I have gone 10 years older. I feel two consenting adults can do what feels right for them.

  • bluekissess

    No I haven’t dated a younger guy and nor do I want to. But, I can’t help it if the youngin thinks I’m gone with the wind fabulous

  • huh

    What is fione?

  • Imeanyouknow

    Women, yall giving men an advantage without realizing it. The older the woman gets her stock value decreases and its quite the opposite for men. All of this is because of yall women talking about how older men are better bla bla…Now yall gonna have to deal with the consequences cuz you get older every year. Men have an advantage because stupid women gave them that advantage.

    • Me

      OMG, you hit the head on the nail! Do people tell you that you’re a genius?

    • Kahekili

      Women are people, not things that have ‘stock value’.

      • Drew Smith

        If we equate the ability to conceive and birth viable children, then, yes, women do have “stock value.” I’m not trying to be ridiculous, but that’s the truth. You need only google “fer…”and you’ll get your answer. Good talk.

        • Kahekili

          Women and girls are HUMANS, not things or animals.

          • Drew Smith

            So… woman and girls — who are humans — have a stock value. Have a nice day.

  • Kahekili

    Referring to a woman who dates younger men is insulting.

    • Drew Smith

      Okay. Why?

      • Kristan

        Why? because how do you refer to a man who dates younger women? does he have a “pet name”? no, he’s just a man dating a younger woman. why do women have to be renamed as some sort of predatory animal? it’s highly sexist

  • Natasha T

    I’ll never cougar in my life, I’m attracted to older men. My father was 20+ years older than my mom and when he died when I was 10 years old, my mom stopped dating for 5 years. Then she dealt with younger men, and they treated her bad, one of them tried to hit on me when I was 17 and I told my mother and she kicked him to the curve ASAP. 5 years ago she married a nice man who is 5 years her senior and he reminds me of my father because he helps me out and gives advice, and treats my mom with respect, just like my father did. Now I’m engaged to my man who is 10 years older than me and he’s been a great father figure to my daughters.

    • Ohhh

      But still, your father could be your mom’s dad. Then the woman runs the risk of losing her husband at a very early age leaving her with younger kids who will sadly lose their dad early on. Then she starts dating again then step fathers and the whole yard. I say someone date who’s closer to your age, that way both mom and dad are likely here longer together.

  • Me

    I think it’s okay to have fun with a younger man, but don’t get serious with them. Men are immature as it is, so dating a younger man makes no sense if you want to settle down.

    • Ohhh

      If you saw a 30 year old man dating an 18 year old woman, you wouldn’t say it makes no sense even though the 18 year old is clearly the immature. Hugh Hefner is 80, dates women in their 20’s or 30’s, yet society finds that acceptable but would scream to Jlo who is only in her 40’s because she dates a 26 year old.

      • notagoodtime

        Because a younger female is more likely to commit than a younger make is.

        • Kahekili

          A younger female what?

      • Just Saying

        It makes no sense to me either way.

      • Me

        If I saw a 30 year old man dating an 18 year old woman, I’d wonder what the heck is wrong with him that he has to date a teenager. Hef is the exception and we know he wouldn’t be pulling if he didn’t have all that money. JLo is just pitiful. Is the ink on her divorce even dry?

        • As a 30 year old man I will tell you an 18-19 year old has a physical attraction you older chicks just don’t have. On the flip side the cougars I have been with are usually sex fiends with no hang ups and it works out great.

    • dc

      True but…..some of my friends have that opinion as well until men in their mid 40’s dont act any better than the 30 somethings…So how can u determine that wen men in their 40’s to 50’s don’t show that much more maturity and there are lots of them out there.

  • Ohhh

    A 30 year old man is a grown man though. But then we see 80 year old men marrying 25 year olds and we women don’t say ishhh…but as soon as we see older women with younger men we start complaining. Your aunt is just a young woman just like Jermain Dupri is a “young dude”

    • Guest360

      Um…lets not generalize here cause I damn sure have something to say when I see an older man and a younger woman (Hugh Hefner and all his playmates). If you’re old enough to be their grandparent or their parent, to me, you’re too old for them. I don’t care if the older one is male or female. I don’t discriminate in my side eye lol

  • MLS2698

    They’ve got a name for women like your aunt, but it ain’t Cougar. Aw, be quiet! Because if you didn’t want comments you should have said I have a ” friend ” who’s blah, blah…….

    • Me


    • notagoodtime

      Mixing up posts?

      • MLS2698

        No. I was trying NOT to say cougars are just some old wh*res.

        • Drew Smith

          Confusing, at best.

          • MLS2698

            It was meant to be confusing. The authors on this blog have a tendency to respond to US, so I just put something there to help her in case she felt the need.

            • Drew Smith

              Gotcha. Good talk.

    • bluekissess

      Wthe11? This is a bipolar comment

      • MLS2698

        Ok, well I’ll just say that the only reason ANY of these young guys want these women is because they are ” experienced ” at what they do! In a while, they will kick them to the curb where their 45 years old, has never been married, never had children and is still out there on the dating scene, bit on the wild side selves need to be.